


Love You To Death

by DoubleMMia



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Female Protagonist, Femslash, Forbidden, Graphic Sexual Content, M/M, Pre-Het, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:05:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 74,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleMMia/pseuds/DoubleMMia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana remembers what she left behind in Camelot and though she thinks she'll never be able to return to it, her feelings for Gwen says different. Desire or Duty? Gwen or Morgause? Is there a path that she could take where she would not lose neither?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Sighting

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.Net under the same pen name.   
> That is all. x

Uther can remember it. He can remember it well. The day to remember. The day he almost fell to the hands of his ward.

The ward he loved and cherished. Harshly. But truly. So truly, that many thought Morgana as his own. As his daughter though he had always truly loved and wanted a son. Which he had. But everyone saw it in his eyes. How much he needed Morgana…Almost as much as he needed Arthur.

"_Take Guinevere with you Father…" Arthur spoke quietly to him, as if afraid of his own father that would in a heartbeat listen to him. Listen. But wouldn't always follow his every need._

_He turned, a look of forlorn of his features that always seemed to form one of hope yet anxiety; a look of a broken man._

"_Guinevere?" He turned back to survey the thriving kingdom that he held in his fist, eyes thinning at the crowds that seemed to be getting larger and larger each day that went by._

_Guinevere. A name he had become to know. To rely on. Or so Arthur had said. Guinevere. Morgana's old maid-servant. Morgana's friend. Morgana's ally. Morgana's-_

_No. He refused to believe rumours. Gossip that still caused a flare of anger in him even if Morgana was long gone from Camelot. If it wasn't for Arthur then Uther would have slaughtered Guinevere where she stood. And he would have made it so painfully slow that everyone would hear the servant's pitiful cry of help and desperation. Begging for him to stop._

_Guinevere. A name he had become to hate. With passion. With lust almost. The name that almost made Uther sick at the mere mention of it._

"_Guinevere should be allowed to visit Morgana's father's memorial. It is the only thing she has left of Morgana. I thought it would be-" Arthur tries to explain Guinevere lightly, knowing very well how much Uther would love to rip Gwen in two if given the chance however before he himself knows it; Uther has turned on him with his words of oil and fire._

"_Morgana was nothing more but her superior!" Uther spat, his eyes wide with so much anger, Arthur has to look away in fear of being scalded. "Right? She has no right Arthur. The sooner you learn that, the better."_

"_But father!" Arthur turns back so that his and his father's eyes entwine in one simple gaze that held nothing but hope (that word again) and plain and simple loneliness. "Surely you must accept the fact that Morgana cared for Guinevere deeply. Surely you will allow her this one moment to remember Morgana? As you do every year? Surely."_

_Uther's fists unclench slowly, his soulless eyes deepening in what Arthur knows as acknowledgement. With the fact that he has his father's full attention, Arthur continues._

"_If you could give Guinevere this chance…Maybe you'll see her differently. Maybe you'll see Morgana differently. All I ask is for Guinevere to have some time with you at Morgana's father's memorial."_

_Silence follows the long seconds. Seconds turning into minutes. Minutes into harsh moments; so ruthless and callous that Arthur is afraid he has just earned Gwen a ticket to the block of stone that awaited her head._

_But before Arthur can walk away, to return to Merlin and the chores that he himself must do (because a future King cannot be lazy) Uther says something that Arthur never expected he would ever say._

"_For Morgana. But that is the only reason." Uther says in a low, authorised manner that clearly says Uther is not happy with the decision of Gwen coming along for his journey but has decided to put up with it anyway._

_This was what told Arthur that Uther was dying. Dying gradually but unquestionably. Uther was going to die soon. Heartbreak? Perhaps._

_This was what told Uther that Arthur had developed into a man. A man of principle and belief. A man. Not a boy. No…Uther had never thought of Arthur as just a boy. A solider. But no. For the first time, Uther had seen his son._

* * *

"Merlin?" Gwen's voice is tired and weary, truly exhausted thanks to training in the mud all day with Sir Leon - a nice, sensible man…Someone who Gwen _should_ fall in love with. Someone that wasn't _her_. An enemy of _Camelot_. An _enemy_ of them _all_

.

She's just a little surprised to see Merlin packing stuff in her pouches (these being food and other utensils Gwen has not seen before since she was a little child) with haste.

Arthur's man servant doesn't reply, instead he continues to push food into Gwen's pouches which just makes Gwen even more confused as the trip she will be taking to Morgana's father's memorial will at the maximum take three hours to get there and a possible three coming back.

With a sigh, Gwen strides towards the poor man, her arms already outstretched to encircle his right arm in a hug. Poor man. Poor, sweet man.

When her arms actually wrap around his arm, Merlin stiffens uncomfortably with a glaze to his eyes that show the tears that are so close to spilling over that Gwen feels like she should cry too.

Instead, she rubs his arm with such comfort that Gwen can hear Merlin's hitched breath and can feel the tears running down his cheeks, down his neck and onto her forehead. And that is all that Gwen needs for herself to start crying almost in sync with her fellow servant and loyal friend.

"It isn't your fault Merlin…" Gwen breathes out hard, the liquid spilling down her cheeks making her look pathetic even in the kindest of eyes.

"Then who's is it?" Merlin mutters under his breath, his eyes sallow and sunken as if he has not slept for days. Gwen doubts that he has. The poor man.

"Not yours." Gwen knows that doesn't help Merlin in the slightest, but what else can she say to Merlin? Who else can she blame apart from the obvious person who she has sworn not to care about...Yet here she was, preparing for a trip to that person's father's memorial. Gwen had been lying to herself. She could not live without Morgana. Without a trace of Morgana. She needed Morgana.

"I should have...I should have..." Merlin replies to Gwen in choppy words. Cavemen-like. As if Merlin has had too much ale and is now comprehended as a drunken old fool. "I should have stopped them. I should have been prepared. I should have known that Morgause would take Morgana away."

"Nobody could have known Merlin..." Gwen soothes, the tiredness that had been at the corners of her eyes before leaving her almost instantly at the look of complete pain on the man's-servant's face. "Nobody could have known at all."

"Then who is to blame for Morgana?" Merlin asks Gwen, his eyes shining so brightly that Gwen is reminded of a lost little child that had accidentally stumbled into Camelot. As if Gwen is the answer, the key to everything. Lost and found.

Gwen sighs, letting her arms fall down Merlin's to curl her dark, dainty fingers around Merlin's pale ones - hanging on so tightly that Gwen is fearful that Merlin will pull away due to her firm grip.

"There is nobody to blame for Morgana apart from herself." Gwen finds herself saying, the dry tears that had stained on her cheeks glowing brightly in the sun that beginning to fade away ever so leisurely into the darkness.

"You don't mean that Gwen." Merlin whispers, turning to the dark-skinned woman next to him with a look that could match Uther's. Ultimately crushed and defeated. With no hope.

"I do." Gwen disagrees with a nod of her head, eyes closed to trap the tears that are once more building up underneath her eyelids. "I mean it in every fibre of my heart and soul."

"But you can hardly say that about someone you love right?" And for the first time since Gwen has returned on her long trip to see her family over the mountains - for comfort more than anyone - Merlin smiled. A sad smile but a smile all the same.

Gwen smiles in return. A sad smile but a smile all the same. "You love Arthur so you can't say anything can you?"

Merlin says nothing in return.

* * *

Arthur has made sure she has the better horse, Gwen is sure of it. Most likely an escape horse just in case Uther finally lets himself go at her, Gwen thinks as an afterthought.

Two knights are with them however, making Gwen only a little bit reassured that she is indeed safe with only magical creatures to worry about and even then Gwen is sure Uther and the knights will be able to handle it in no time at all.

Closer they edge towards Morgana's father's memorial grounds, over grassy banks and streams that seem to go on and still Gwen has not seen anything she recognises, has still not seen anything that indicates Morgana has walked the same path that they were treading on; treading so lightly in the cloak of the darkness that seemed to surround the party with its black mist.

She doesn't know why she feels so disappointed, Gwen knew before they even left Camelot that Morgana would not be here, would not come to the shrine of her own father. It was no longer in her to care - or as Gwen had been told by Gaius - about anything or anyone of her past life.

As Gaius had said, Morgana had chosen her powers for the good of evil and was no longer going to come back to Gwen when she called for her, no longer going to wake Gwen up with her screams and tears, no longer going to be there to hold Gwen or for herself, Morgana, to be held.

And it hurt. Hurt a lot. So much in fact that Gwen felt her grip tighten on the leather that was her horse's reins with such ferocity it cut into her skin to leave a long print of blood across her palm which she would wash off later.

At this moment all Gwen wanted was to run and run until she could run no more, feeling the wind brush and caress her face like a mother and for the ground to grip and grind against her feet like her father's scolding's and to bathe in a water of flowers to hear Morgana's strong, sweet voice for just a moment.

She'd do anything to hear it. And now thinking about it with a shy smile on her face. Gwen realizes that she sounds like a damsel in distress, worshipping and yearning for her knight in shining armour to pick her up and dazzling her with his presence.

Sadly Gwen's knight is a woman with raven hair, willows eyes and a whole lot of evil about her that would only dazzle people at how cruel the tales of Morgana were. And that was hardly something to be proud of. Oh and maybe an evil laugh to top it all off.

"Wait here." Uther's command knocks Gwen out of her daydream, making her look down to see that Uther has dismounted and is now telling his knights the order with a look of cold viciousness.

Clearing her throat, Gwen too dismounted with unimaginable grace for someone who was only one class above those of the people who lived normally in Camelot. She of course was still one of the people of Camelot but she was now Arthur's own personal 'cook' as Uther had been made to believe; earning her the rank of one class above the normal citizens of Camelot.

The knights nod obediently, knowing very well if they dared to question Uther then they might as well be sorcerers at how much of a chance they would be given to live thanks to disobedience.

Uther turns his back on them all, striding towards the mossy forest that is so deep and wide that Gwen is surprised that Uther actually comes to the shrine every year without getting lost (or hurt) once because of how dangerous the forest actually is.

She has heard of this forest in stories that Tom (her father) used to tell her, the Forest of Nehrid apparently. Where monsters roam at night whilst men travel through it by day…Gwen just hopes that the monsters thing was just a joke and she wouldn't accidentally step on a creature's head before her leg got chewed off by said creature.

Once entering the forest, Gwen hears Uther's shallow breaths and grunts that do nothing to her wild imagination of terrifying creatures that lurk in the shadows, waiting for her to slip or fall before pouncing.

"Do not fall or slip…Or I will leave you behind." Uther says calmly (too calmly) with a cough, his hands twitching near his waist where his sword lies. Though Gwen knows what Uther means. He just doesn't say that to scare her. Uther has made a promise to leave her behind.

"Yes my king." Gwen replies subserviently, bowing her head almost on instinct even if Uther has no possibility of seeing it. "I shall not fall behind."

"Good." Uther responds impersonally, moving branches and leaves away from his path with a swift kick and a wave of his arm.

The Forest of Nehrid was not very comfortable when it came to the ground that Gwen was treading on. It was true. Nehrid had no dirt or moss or even the speckle of water that a forest was supposed to have. No in fact, everything about Nehrid was stone apart from the trees and grass that inhabited only around the edges of Nehrid - most likely tricking people into its home with the knowledge of looking like a forest where people could camp but actually being a rather hard, solid area where creatures and men could attack easily.

"I must remind you that you will not say anything at the Shrine. You are only here to observe. Not to speak." Uther reminds her, his scarred face turning to her for a moment with a look of absolute loathing by the morose darkening of his expression. "For if you do, I will cut you down where you stand."

Gwen says nothing, wondering why she doesn't fear death as she used to. Wondering why what Uther has just told her did not worry her in the slightest. Maybe it is because she has gotten used to death. Her father's and maybe even Morgana. Death is nothing but the next stage in life right? So she has nothing to fear. Death is just a stage.

Gwen follows Uther silently, sleep starting to pick up at the corners of her eyes once again.

* * *

Gwen sits by the shrine in silence as she had been commanded to do so, her brow furrowed while her hands were folded neatly in her lap - she would not risk her hands touching the precious stone of the shrine in fear of Uther's raging reaction at the touch of her grimy skin against holy rock.

Uther is kneeling next to her, his gloved hand moving against the engraved words on the stone as if it is an old friend, his face creased into a worn smile and his body slumped so far down that if Gwen did not know any better she would suspect that Uther is fast asleep. Nonetheless, no. Uther is not sleeping. On the contrary, Gwen has never seen her King so awake since Morgana had-

With a frustrated pout, Gwen glares hard at the stone words in aggravation. How many times must she tell herself that Morgana does not deserve to be in her thoughts, that Morgana is nothing to her anymore but a faded dream, a dream…That will just not seem to go away.

This is not how her life is supposed to be. This was not how Tom would want her life to be (though Gwen doubted that Tom would have wanted to fall so deeply with Morgana in the first place) and it most certainly wasn't what Gwen wanted herself.

She can't keep waiting for Morgana forever. That is, if Morgana is even alive which Gwen literally doubts. She needs to forget. Forever. She can not forgive. Oh no, Gwen can not to do that. But she must forget. For her own sanity she must. Yet every time she tries to do that very thing, to forget…Morgana appears once more, her smile bright and her skin a healthy colour of pure porcelain.

Nonetheless, there is a solution. A solution which she has asked Gaius of before yet denied it when it was ready. The remedy to get rid of Morgana from her mind for good. Yes, she would do that. And then she would go talk to Sir Leon, enchant him with her smile and brute strength of a man like himself. Then she would marry him, bare his children and then die with him, hand in hand…Anything to get rid of the stinging memories that was Morgana.

Morgana. Morgana's eyes. Morgana's nose. Morgana's long eyelashes. Morgana's white pearls. Morgana's twisted smile. Morgana's face…

Something in Gwen snaps at the thought, something inside of Gwen is going off like warning sirens, something is endangering Uther and her in addition to that…Gwen has a sinking feeling she knows what.

Grunting and hoping to god that her decision was right, Gwen threw herself at the kneeling Uther; knocking him off guard and making the King sprawl helplessly underneath her - for his body has grown weak…Or so Gwen hears.

"_Arshetio thebe tienthe!" _Strong and sweet. Flowers. Willow trees and the obscurity of the night. Gwen has never been so lustful to hear that voice.

Nevertheless now is not the time to feel such emotion seeming as (if her experiment is correct) the rocks that are falling and crushing the shrine - where Uther had just been kneeling - was now spitting all around her and Uther like a magpie attracted to silver.

Rolling off Uther, Gwen does one of the most bizarre (looking back on it now however, she would say the luckiest) things she has ever done in her entire twenty-four years of breathing.

She stands up, ignoring the way that Uther has drawn his sword, ignoring the way rocks and pointy stones are crumbling all around her (most likely to destroy her and Uther), ignoring the fact that her heart is beating so fast that Gwen actually thinks it might burst because all she can see, all she can see is her knight, the knight believed to be dead, only alive in tales of evil that had been spread all over Camelot.

Morgana…Oh her charming, strong, malevolent Morgana.

For all Gwen could see was Morgana though Morgana could see her not. Gwen was now hidden between falling rocks and debris that would soon pass on once Morgana had thought that the deed was done and Uther was truly dead.

Uther has now stood and Gwen wants to cry, scream at him for covering her view with his back and his sword raised high - knowing very well (or Gwen thinks seeing that the water glistening on his cheeks is of course not rain) who he is about to face.

The person who, if not for her old maid-servant, would have killed him right there without him even knowing his killer.

The debris and stone stop falling all of a sudden, giving Morgana a clear view of Uther (the Uther who is shielding Gwen from her with his back) while also making Uther again a target for Morgana to direct her magic on.

"Uther!" Morgana's cry is fierce and wild, reminding Gwen of untamed black stallions racing through the water of flowers and thousands of soldiers marching their way towards their destination. Camelot.

Gwen just feels disgusted with herself at how much it makes her want to fall to her knees at Morgana's feet in submission.

"How dare you come to this Shrine?" Morgana's voice is getting louder and higher, the voice that clearly tells many stories that Gwen does not wish to hear. "Have you no shame?"

Gwen can feel Uther's back tremble at Morgana's intonation, his shoulders tensing but his lower back shuddering terribly at the frail curses that weren't even curses at all.

And then, Uther is yelling back at his ward with so much rage that Gwen can hardly believe Uther has that much air in his lungs.

"You are the one with no shame _Morgana_!" Uther's voice breaks at the end of his sentence, his scarred face scrunched up in complete utter vehemence whilst his left hand is pointed in the direction of the rubble that used to be Morgana's father's shrine. "You are the one who has destroyed the last part of yourself! Of your father! Of his shrine!"

Silence and Gwen can imagine Morgana looking at the debris that is her father's shrine with vulnerable watery eyes, with eyes that reminded Gwen of when Morgana (who was slightly older than her) had been a child and had come weeping to her whenever they had finished visiting her father's memorial.

"Do you see now what you have become?" Uther steps forward, unknowingly unveiling Gwen a little for her to be seen by Morgana's eyes and unknowingly making Morgana a little unsure of herself and her motives on what she should do next.

"Who is with you Uther?" Morgana's voice penetrates through the air like a knife cutting through butter and Gwen is a little scared that Morgana sounds composed and in control instead of sounding susceptible like Gwen had guessed she would be.

Though what could Gwen expect? Morgana was not a little girl anymore and Gwen was no longer her maid that would comfort her whenever she could without touch.

"I will spare their life if they run now…" Morgana's voice has by now, dramatically changed into something Gwen doesn't think she'll forget for a while. Seductive. Smooth. Sultry. Morgana knows what she is saying and Morgana knows that she will kill Uther without no doubt in her mind.

"But yours?" Gwen pictures Morgana tilting her head to side, mocking Uther with a treacherous grin. "You may not be so lucky Uther."

"_Niyeto musaire fira!" _Fire surrounds both her and Uther, the tendrils of the red beast licking at her ankles and calves in such vicious intensity that Gwen can not remember a time when she has been so frightened of fire.

So frightened, that by now…Gwen side-steps away from Uther, revealing herself to Morgana in her full form.

What Gwen is wearing isn't very bright in the near-dark (because DARK green isn't very bright in the first place) but from how the fire instantly disappears, Gwen relishes in the fact that she made it her decision to expose herself to Morgana; half of her only doing so to see Morgana's face one more time before she, Gwen, must somehow try to defeat the sorceress.

Morgana's face is just as Gwen remembers it the very last time she saw Morgana…Sweet, porcelain and very, very tender-looking which just did not fit Morgana's 'new' description as being evil, wicked, cruel and many other things that Morgana was not.

What she is wearing is the same green dress that Gwen last saw her in, the emerald silk displaying more of her cleavage than it had last time Gwen had seen in and the gold patterns across the collar sparkling brightly in the night's shadow.

The only thing remotely different about Morgana is the fact that she is wearing a vermillion-coloured cloak that is covering her head (along with her neck at how large it is) with such a look of deception that Gwen cannot believe that she is looking at the same Morgana that she been gazing so longingly at three years ago.

Despite the fact that Gwen would love to look at Morgana all night, she knows it is not the time to think, to remember the past. No it is the time to _act_, to act against Morgana…

Easier said than done. Gwen knows that. Gwen doesn't think that. Gwen knows that. Going against Morgana is like going against an impenetrable wall. Entirely impossible to the average human being.

"Guinevere…"

Gwen's hues flicker up to meet Morgana's vibrant willows ones, startled to see that Morgana is now as stiff as a board and the confident tone she had been using vanishing before Gwen's very ears and eyes.

With only little notice Gwen sees that Morgana's left arm is outstretched, facing at Uther's chest and her eyes that had most likely been full of hate for the King has now dimmed down into something that Gwen recognizes immediately - as one would once seeing that look every time Morgana used to have nightmares - as fear and puzzlement.

But why? Why is Morgana terrified? Why is Morgana confused? Why? It doesn't make sense why Morgana should react that way towards her seeming as all Gwen can do is try her best to try and protect Uther and herself.

Without thinking properly on what she should do, Gwen does the first thing that appears in her mind…She steps forward and then to the side against so that she is now in front of the silent Uther - unusual but Gwen doubts that it is impossible.

She has no idea why she is doing this, no idea why because what has Uther done for her apart from driving Morgana and everyone else away from her and yet, Gwen is standing in front of Uther (her back to him) with a determined glare on her expression.

Gwen does not know how she keeps the shocked look off her face when Morgana's arm drops and the fearful look on her face becomes even more obvious than before, Gwen does not know why Morgana hasn't already finished both her and Uther off and Gwen unquestionably does not know why she is not running at Morgana in an attempt to wipe Morgana out of her life forever as Morgana has done to so many innocents.

Morgana was going to kill Uther. Gwen was sure of it. Morgana _was _going to kill Uther however when Gwen had placed herself in front of the King, Morgana had then changed her mind without a look of hesitation on her mind. Almost as if Morgana had only just decided that she would not kill Uther when Gwen had appeared right in front of her eyes.

Suddenly, before Gwen even realizes it herself, an almighty shout brings ringing to Gwen's ears, scaring her so much that Gwen takes a step back so that her back is pressed up against Uther's chest and that her heels are just carefully touching Uther's boots.

"_BALZER THIEOBE THUNDA!_"

Gwen flinches as a flash of lightning misses her and Uther entirely, hitting the ground about five feet away from them instead furthermore Gwen knows once more that the Morgana she is facing is the little girl that she befriended and looked after until Morgana had become twenty-two before then being taken by Morgause in front of everyone's eyes but her own.

"_BALZER THIEOBE THUNDA!" _This time, Morgana is screaming so loud - and bordering on desperate - that Gwen is sure that this time Morgana is on target although that thought is pushed away ultimately when thunder misses her and Uther once more and instead hit's a tree miles behind them.

Feeling her heart break a little, Gwen dares herself to look up and when she does, immediately wishes that she hadn't.

"Morgana!" Gwen screeches, hardly able to believe that she is screeching for someone who is no longer on her side, no longer on Uther's, no longer on Arthur's and certainly no longer on Merlin's. Hardly able to believe that she could love someone like her dark knight. Hardly able to believe that Morgana is running away from _her_.

* * *

"_If anything happened to you…" Gwen cries softly, tears that aren't supposed to be there falling freely down her face, that are so subtle but noticeable that Gwen can feel Morgana's hot, heavy breathing against her lips. So hot that Gwen tilts her head away for a moment before answering. "I couldn't bear it."_

_Morgana has a look on her face that puzzled Gwen completely, making the maid-servant wonder if she has said too much. Too much that Morgana understands what Gwen is saying and is now fully prepared to go confront Uther about it (even if it was Uther who locked her in the dungeons in the first place)._

_A sigh of understanding escapes Morgana's parted lips and Gwen is immediately crushed into Morgana's body - mentally however, not physically. Never physically._

"_You need to go home, Gwen. Get some rest. Please."_

"_Gwen? Why are you still here?"_

_Gwen turns, startled at Morgana's voice that she had been thinking of silently in her mind for the past hours…Anything to get rid of her father's cries for help as Uther's guards slaughtered him._

_It's late. So late that Gwen would have been asleep by now if it wasn't for the fact that Tauren could be there in waiting of her and that Morgana hadn't arrived back early from visiting her father's shrine so she had decided to sit by Morgana's window until her mistress's return._

"_I was waiting for you to come back." Gwen replies with a shy smile that makes Morgana smile in return at such an appealing gesture coming from her equally appealing maid._

"_You didn't have to. You can go home now Gwen." Morgana turns away from her maid for a moment, unlacing the thread that is attached to her cloak before tossing said cloak in her wardrobe carelessly. She knows that Gwen would not approve of being so untidy but Morgana is so tired that she hardly cares at the moment._

"_I cannot." Gwen's frail voice breaks slightly and Morgana without delay turns and wraps Gwen in her arms without even thinking about what the consequences would be if someone walked in on her and Gwen and presumed the worst._

"_Shh-shh-shh." Morgana coos into her Gwen's ear, resisting the temptation to catch the lobe between her sharp canines. "It's alright Gwen…Tauren won't be able to hurt you anymore…I swear to protect you with my life."_

_   
_

* * *

_  
_

 

With those memories spilling through her brain, Gwen feels her hot temper (most likely inherited from her mother; Tom had always been calm) start to flare and growl in the pit of her stomach, wriggling like a snake and snapping it's beak like a falcon ready to devour its victim.

So, before Gwen can even register it. Before Gwen can even think, talk properly to warn Uther what was happening…

Gwen was chasing her dark knight back into the Forest of Nehrid, her chocolate locks whipping at her feet, her mother's caress blowing against cheeks to egg her on and her father's scolding making her feet grind and ground into the dirt underneath her soles but what made Gwen run faster than she would normally run was the flowers she was racing through…

Gwen could swear she heard Morgana's laughter if she ran faster through the flowers of daisies and orchids…Faster through the roses and lilies that seemed to swamp her feet.

Morgana's velvet emerald cloak flickers through Gwen's eyesight for a moment before disappearing into the opening of Nehrid with such haste that Gwen only just manages to catch it flying to the left before it is gone once again from Gwen's sight.

"Don't you _DARE_ run from me!" Gwen shrieks, jumping over logs, ducking under branches before taking a sharp left, already feeling the bandage on her hip start to unravel due to her quick movements.

"You swore!" Gwen feels her legs aching by now, the flowers that are still stuck on her dress and boots are now starting to irritate her legs and feet which slows her down almost instantly. "You swore to protect me! Don't you dare run!"

Pants are coming further in front of her, signalling to Gwen that Morgana is tiring from running and will soon (like Gwen) collapse in a heap in hope that Gwen will run past her or maybe give up.

If Gwen had enough energy she would have rolled her eyes at the thought of even giving up looking for Morgana.

"Morgana!" Despite having not enough energy to roll her eyes, Gwen has plenty to use for yelling and cursing. "Morgana! Please! Don't run from me anymore!"

The panting stops almost right after Gwen has said that nonetheless is then replaced with a severe cry echo through Nehrid that makes Gwen stop in her tracks, the shivering going up her spine enough to make her collapse motionless on the floor due to such a blood-curdling sound.

The ground underneath her is stone - surprising Gwen at how nothing seems to be broken even though the fall had enough force to put Gwen into so much damage that she would most likely be living with Merlin and Gaius for a week - so with no hesitation Gwen places her ear to the ground…Listening.

Nothing. No footsteps. Just the quiet. The quiet apart from the sound of her own beating heart.

She's pathetic. She can't even get up. Maybe it was scream that paralyzed her? Or maybe it was just her. Being pathetic. As usual.

Then before Gwen can pathetically call out to Morgana once more, a rustling sound that can only mean one thing.

Uther has caught up with her. Most likely furious at her for running off like that after a dangerous enemy of Camelot. And as corny as it sounds, a dangerous enemy of Gwen's heart…

* * *

Morgana was silent. It was not unusual for Morgana to be silent but still, Morgause could taste the uneasiness of her sister on her bittersweet tongue.

"What troubles you so?" Morgause draws her sword back into its sheath, vowing to clean the blood off it later. But for now. Morgana.

A brief smile in the candlelight. "Nothing troubles me. I am just deep within my mind."

Brushing a stray hair away from Morgana's troubled willow eyes, Morgause turns away. "If there is anything you need-"

"That won't be necessary Gw-" Morgana cuts herself off and the vase in front of her explodes into tiny shards, scattering all over the floor and the water itself flying high up in the air.

Morgause says nothing.

* * *

Yes. Uther can remember the day well. As if it happened yesterday. And this is the reason why Guinevere is now observing the landscape that the tall towers of Camelot provide with him by her side.

"You have my blessing Guinevere." Uther is cold still, cold and dark. Cold and metallic. Something that leaves a bitter aftertaste on Gwen's tongue.

"Blessing my lord?" Gwen is mystified. It has only been a few weeks since that day she had encountered Morgana. A few weeks since Uther had carried her back to Camelot by foot. A few weeks that made her heart yearn as if it had been a few years instead.

"She did not attack you. Why?" Uther asks Morgana's old maid-servant untrustingly, his hues are slits that swim with distrust and unfriendliness.

With a cough, Gwen says nothing.


	2. The King's Dying Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: The King's Dying Breath  
> TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
> Rating: T - M  
> Chapter Rating: T  
> Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
> Chapter Summary: Uther dies and Gwen once again confronts Morgana face-to-face.  
> Genre: Angst/Romance  
> Chapter Type: Filler **

**Title: The King's Dying Breath  
TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
Rating: T - M  
Chapter Rating: T  
Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
Chapter Summary: Uther dies and Gwen once again confronts Morgana face-to-face.  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Chapter Type: Filler **

* * *

Candles are being lit by strangers and Gwen can truly see how much the day has soured and how much the people of Camelot are mourning.

"She killed him." Arthur spat, his long fingers curling around the silver knife that is making his fingers bleed at how much pressure he is placing on the blade. "She _murdered_ him."

What is she supposed to do? Gwen is sitting at the other end of the royal table - fidgeting of course because someone like _her_ isn't supposed to be sat on the other side of a table where the new King of Camelot is glaring down at the wooden surface of the table like it had insulted him.

"I know she did it Gwen…" Arthur mutters, slamming the knife down into the table before springing up from his chair to stride over to where Merlin is.

"You are going to kill her aren't you?" Gwen whispers feebly, wishing that she had enough strength to plead Arthur not to. _Please don't kill her. Please. I am begging you. Do not kill Morgana._

Arthur stops, his hand stopping in mid air to reach for something that Merlin has in his hand, his face full of raw emotion that Arthur is glad that she cannot see his face at all.

"…For you I won't." Arthur turns back to Merlin, eyeing his manservant up and down with eagerness bordering on nervousness. Without a word, he grabs his manservant by his tunic and leads him out of the room to his own quarters. Sad sex is always a way to cheer him up. Even in the darkest times.

Gwen relishes the fact that she is now alone, relishing the fact she is now good enough to cry without anyone walking in on her (she certainly knows that Arthur and Merlin will be gone for hours, maybe days) and so without hesitation, Gwen weeps with sallow eyes that leak a thousand tears.

She normally would have cried in a more private place, a more confined place than the one she is sitting in right now but Gwen might as well make do because there is nobody who doesn't feel like crying more than Gwen.

Morgana. Uther. Tom. Arthur. Merlin. Gaius…Oh her _sweet, strong Morgana _that is corrupting her mind with so many dangerous thoughts that Gwen can only hide her face in her arms in hope that her watery eyes are hidden from the world behind closed doors - the world that is suddenly getting louder and more visible than it had been before.

So before Gwen knows it, she is in the land of sleep where things are a lot simpler and Morgana's features are a lot more tender.

"Please. I insist." Gaius sets the bottle on the table where most of the ingredients that are inside this particular are scattered across the wooden surface. Lilies. Orchids. Roses. Wolfs bane. Silver liquid. Gwen knows the ingredients well and she knows what these ingredients add up to make a very nasty potion that could wipe away any memories she wished to erase within seconds of taking the vial to her lips.

"Your nightmares are getting worse Gwen." Gaius explains, knowing that he has to tread lightly on this subject if he wishes not to upset his old friend. "I have made this potion to help you. To help you get over it."

"Is this how you plan to get rid of Morgana from my mind?" Gwen answers back bitterly, her dark chocolate hues glancing wrathfully at the misty vial that contains the poison of clearing her mind for one night only of Morgana. "By erasing everything I know of her?"

Gaius sighs, taking his spectacles off and placing them on top of a book he has been reading for quite some time now - funnily enough the book being called 'Obliterating Memories' - with a look that clearly says he doesn't want to be having this conversation at all. Especially not with her about Morgana.

"She is not the Morgana you once knew." The physician mumbles quietly, moving a strand of grey away from his eyes to look at Gwen directly before continuing. "That Morgana is dead, Gwen. And if not dead, far from alive."

A bang resounds in Gaius's house, shaking Merlin awake from his sleepy state and making the animals hiding everywhere in Gaius's books and bookcases to rush out of their hiding places and into a dark secluded corner; away from the sound that has disturbed their natural quiet life.

The physician did not flinch at the slamming of Gwen's hand against his wooden table, the physician did not even move at the slam though the bang was so loud that anyone with a right sense of mind would have at least tried to get away from the sound…Yet Gaius sat there with a look of concern on his face.

"You are wrong Gaius." Gwen's eyes are shimmering with unwept tears and her right hand that is resting on Gaius's table has now curled up into a fist that from the looks of it could break through anything without the use of magic.

Turning her face away, Gwen feels her cheeks beginning to heat up in wild embarrassment that she has only ever experienced when she had been younger. When she still had her dark knight. When she still had _Morgana_.

"I'm sorry…" Gwen does not look back at Gaius in fear that she will see something that can be interpreted as sympathy and that is something Gwen does not want because what will sympathy do? Will sympathy bring Morgana back? No, Gwen doubts it will.

"You have nothing to apologise for my dear." Gaius reassures her with that old crooked smile of his, reminding Gwen of Morgana's when her mistress has just woken up in an awfully good mood. "For I am the one to blame for resurfacing old, forgotten and indefinitely unwanted memories."

"Unwanted?" Gwen laughs in disbelief, sitting down on Gaius's spare stall to stop herself from falling in incredulity.

"Are they not?" Gaius is staring at her as if she has grown an extra head, his silver hair looking even more wilder and crazier than before as if he was the one who has hardly had any sleep and not her.

"No. Never." Gwen smiles brightly though after a few seconds suddenly feels like she wants to throw up. To be proud of loving Morgana is just an added tab. As if saying she was proud that Morgana had killed. And for this mistake, Gwen's smile vanishes like a candle's flame being blown out. Quickly without a trace of flame left apart from the white smoke that vanishes a second later.

Gaius sits up straight (straighter than usual) his face stiff in a way which frightens her and gently makes his hand crawl in the middle of the table, palm exposed to her with its wrinkles yet softness that calls out for her to take with reassuring comfort.

Gwen hesitates, half afraid that if she does place her hand in Gaius's own that her old friend will clench her skin so tightly that he will pull away the smell and feel of Morgana's old perfumes and scents that are still in her bedroom to this very day but half afraid that if she doesn't she won't get over the fact that she has cowered away from Gaius's unspoken challenge.

Reluctantly, Gwen places her dark, petite fingers in Gaius's supple creased hand without a word that could confirm her trepidation of the situation at hand. Like what was Gaius going to say? Would he force her to take the potion every night? Or did Gaius have something stronger?

"You have to give up with your obsession for Morgana my dear." With his other hand, Gaius removes a dark strand that is covering her moist, chocolate orbs that continued to shiver and quake in absolute wretchedness. "It is destroying you…From the inside. You cannot continue your life like this, Gwen."

With a irritated growl - mostly at herself - Gwen wipes the tears away from her eyes along with trying to calm her shaking fist that is making the surface of the table vibrate like crazy.

"I can't!" Gwen murmurs heatedly, her eyes already getting sore from the amount of tears she has already shed for Morgana and her hopeless love for that woman. "I just c-can't…"

"Of course you can-" Gaius starts but jumps back at the glare he receives from one of the most gentlest people he has ever met.

"I cannot! I cannot!" Gwen has now stood up, her eyes reminding Gaius's so much like Uther's that he himself cannot help but feel a shiver travel down his spinal cord. "I cannot walk past her room without checking upon it even though I know it is still empty as it was the night before and the night before that! And I cannot help but check her bed to see if it is still warm when I know that Morgana hasn't slept in that bed for three years or so!"

Gaius says nothing. He listens intently to Gwen's blabbering, knowing very well that Gwen really only seemed to blabber when she was extremely passionate about something (like Morgana for example) or when she was very nervous.

"A-and…" Gwen clears her throat, turning her head away from Gaius once more like she was in pain. "And I cannot help the passion I feel for her. I cannot lose it. It is within me for eternity."

Gaius coughs, feeling the old memories of passion, lust, betrayal and heartbreak start to sweep back into his head like a spotlight shining up those particular memories with its hot light.

He knows what Gwen is feeling believe it or not and if he has anything to say about Gwen having that feeling, Gaius won't let Gwen suffer of a mistake he had also made in his past, earlier life.

The outburst that has just happened does not bother Gaius in the slightest so without any dithering; Gaius pushes the vial forward with its misty contents towards (the now mystified) Gwen who by the look of body language wants nothing more but to yell even more at him at even suggesting the potion in the first place.

"I beg of you to take this." Gaius explains quietly, not wishing for Merlin to know that he has indeed been giving potions to Gwen because if Gaius knew Merlin well - and Gaius certainly did - then Merlin would also demand to know why Gaius has taken such a drastic action three years too late. "You do not have to drink it. I am not forcing you Guinevere-"

Gwen flinches without meaning to. Gaius has never called her by her full name which obviously means there is something very serious going on around here that includes her; and most likely Morgana.

"Though I would recommend you to do so. We don't want any bad dreams now do we?"

A silence falls between both of them, Gwen is silently fuming and Gaius is silently wondering.

And then Gwen snatches the vial, places it in her little sling pocket around her waist and is then gone from Gaius's and Merlin's home with thudding footsteps and furious curses.

* * *

Gwen walks past that door everyday to get to Arthur's room (which has been removed and rescheduled in about six different rooms by now) and everyday she stops to look at the worn old door before stepping inside. Into the magic. Into the dream world. Into Morgana…

* * *

Gwen does not cry at Uther's funeral. She does not see a reason to cry. So she doesn't. Yes, he has protected her over the past three years but willingly? Oh no, never. Uther would have had her killed if it was not for Arthur and who could Uther not deny? His son, of course.

Arthur is crying. Understandable. It was his father after all yet Gwen does not make a move to comfort the broken Prince who will soon become King once he hits his twenty-seventh birthday and Gwen just can't wait…

Will she come back knowing that she, a magical being, will be allowed in Camelot now? Or will Morgana destroy Camelot like she had sworn to do when she mercilessly slaughtered Uther in front of innocent bystanders on the streets?

As sick as it may sound, Gwen just wants to see Morgana again. To see her is enough to keep Gwen working properly for the rest of her life, to see Morgana is enough to make Gwen happier than she has ever been before…To see Morgana…Chocolate hues soften dramatically at such a thought. To see Morgana would be a dream. Or a nightmare. Depending on if Morgana was still in her 'Do-not-touch-Gwen' stage like she had been when they had visited her father's shrine.

Maybe she _is_ really sick. Thinking about a dead man's murderer at his funeral is hardly saintly though Gwen finds herself not being able to help it; she must think about Morgana, she must imagine her within her mind's temple considering that if she does not…Then she may as well go insane.

Only the residents of the Pendragon's castle are allowed at the funeral including all servants and lower classed men and women that were living under the King's wing at the time before Uther died. Though only these people are allowed to attend the funeral Gwen has heard many shouts from the trees that they are surrounded by in the fields just outside of the castle's walls, some threatening, some only wishing to say one last goodbye but most are curses and happy cheers that can only be so cheerful because finally…Uther is dead.

"You're pathetic!" The jeers spread out and wide, tearing through Prince Thomas's speech like a knife through paper.

"Magic will rule! It will become the magical reign of Mordred!" Another loud leer yet this one making Gwen look to her right at the direction of the sound of the patronising voice with observant eyes.

Mordred. The seeds that sowed the destruction in Morgana? Morgana's downfall in the fight against evil? Gwen has always believed so. She has never trusted that little boy and won't start trusting him now though Merlin has told her rumours about Mordred not seeing Morgana since he ran away from Arthur and his knights three years ago.

Funnily enough, Gwen doesn't quite believe her friend. If anyone would find a way to get Morgana in their grasp, that little brat Mordred would.

Gwen decides that she has had enough of all these thoughts about Mordred and instead flickers her gaze back onto the silent Arthur who is crushing something inside his hands so fiercely that Gwen can see red drops of blood start to drip from his fingers and palms.

Gwen feels it too. Gwen feels the pain, the anguish, the absolute fury, heartache and the lustful passion to just do something. To destroy. To ravish. To control. To feed. Gwen feels it and wants it all.

* * *

Gwen is standing in the castle gardens among the roses where a shrine of Morgana rests, though Morgana is not dead, Arthur planted it there with a bitter 'she might as well be' so it has become one of Gwen's favourite places to visit apart from Morgana's old chambers.

Uther's funeral is still going on and Gwen is not ashamed to say she was the first one who left her chair, not even when many people whispered at her to sit down for she would not. Sit down? Gwen has only even been told to sit down by Morgana and that was when they would eat together (a thing that is uncommon between royalty and what Gwen used to call herself, peasants) so to be told again by a different person entirely is rather shocking.

She still feels sick. Like her body has only realised that her heart does not have a beat and that all her brain can think of is Morgana and when recognising that, has started to shut her down.

If Morgana hadn't killed Uther. Gwen knew the disease that was now spreading slowly through her body would have without a doubt killed him before he could even register it yet the sad thing was, the cure was impossible to get. To reach…To even touch.

The cold wind didn't even help her. Of course not. It only made her cold become more thorough and harsher than before, her red scarf that was wrapped neatly around her neck feeling like paper against the wind. Not warming that was for certain.

The words that are carved into the stone are simple. '_Morgana. A manipulated lost soul.'_

Gwen was the first person Arthur went to as an adviser what it should say on the shrine but of course Gwen could not help seeming as everything she would say would be full of praise. Of compassion. Of lust. Of beauty. Of…

Love. Gwen loved Morgana, though she does not love the things Morgana has done and were most likely planning to do yet, Gwen still loved Morgana unconditionally.

Merlin had chosen the words. Chosen them carefully of course (because everyone knew that Gwen was to be feared on the subject of Morgana) with only the help of Arthur and even Uther had managed to help without any angry curses or taunts on Morgana's behalf. Gwen, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

Uther would never forgive her for loving Morgana and he would never forgive Morgana for using her powers for evil and for her own gain, so instead he channelled everything on Gwen instead because it was the only way he could show his feelings towards both her and Morgana without physically hurting anyone or himself.

The King's dying breath as he lay in his royal bed, his hands grasping the wound where Morgana had apparently struck with a magical knife had been directed neither towards Arthur, Merlin or Gaius but both her and Morgana…With such intensity that the words still brought Gwen red cheeks and for her body to shiver uncomfortably at such wrath.

'_Die together. Die in blood. Die in love. Die in lust. Love will be your triumph Guinevere.'_ And then Uther had turned to look out of his window, his brow - already soaked in sweat - creasing. '_Morgana…Morgana…My beautiful, little daughter…Love will be your downfall.'_

Then Uther had died. Quickly and so simply that it seemed unreal for Uther to actually be dead in a matter of moments. Arthur had left the room once it had been announced, eyes swimming with confused rage at her and Merlin had followed his lost master, his head bowed down in submission like a dog who has just been scolded.

Gwen had cried because she had not any idea what Uther had said meant, she had cried in confusion and about two weeks later, Arthur had started talking to her again…And Gwen had never been so satisfied.

Morgana had killed Uther, Gwen had heard rumours about it, Merlin had confirmed it and Arthur, Arthur couldn't help but mutter it under his breath every time Gwen looked lost in thought.

'_Don't kill her…'_

Arthur had already promised that he wouldn't but how long could he keep that promise before Morgana risked Merlin's or someone else's life so that he had to slaughter her mercilessly? Despite what he had promised?

Morgana's end was near. Gwen could feel it in her blood. But of course there was complications that could block Morgana away from Arthur's blade and without any hesitation in her mind, Gwen instantly knew she was one of them.

"_What will you do Guinevere?"_ Arthur has a thing about calling her by her full name and Gwen finds it rather suspicious that only Arthur uses her full name until five months ago when Morgana had uttered it in surprise and fear. Gwen just wished she hadn't. It wouldn't remind her of Morgana whenever it fell from Arthur's lips otherwise.

"_What will I do?"_ Gwen of course had no idea what Arthur was talking about when it had just been them in his chambers, sitting in silence. It was funny how she was remembering all this as she stood in front of Morgana's own shrine, her stomach queasy at the illness.

"_When she kills an innocent? A child perhaps? What will you do?"_ Arthur has never acted viperishly towards her, not really apart from this time. When he had questioned her about her absolute loyalties towards him and Camelot and if she would choose Camelot over Morgana. It had scared her but Gwen knew what Arthur was saying was completely reasonable, she would have wanted to know where she herself stood if she was in Arthur's shoes.

"_I do not know. All that I know if is I am forever by your side as a citizen of Camelot. And as your friend."_ Gwen had spoke the truth but at what costs? Losing Morgana? Was that something she was _willing_ to lose?

"_What of Morgana? You would choose Camelot over Morgana?"_ Arthur too had been surprised, most likely at how she actually sounded like she was saying the truth.

"_Without hesitation."_ Gwen had lied then. Of course she would hesitate, because no matter how much people tried to tell her…_Her_ Morgana was _alive_.

Arthur then left her alone to dwell in her unhappiness, knowing that she would rather die than let him (or anyone else for that matter) see her sob and weep over the unbearable fact that _her_ Morgana was apparently dead.

And even at that memory, Gwen feels even sicker. So sick that she wraps her arms around her thin waist - getting thinner by the month - to try and calm the shivers that are starting to spread across thighs and navel.

A strong gust of wind brushes against Gwen's face, lifting her darks lock up into the air and for her body to shudder even more at the cold.

Funny. Gwen felt cold when she had last seen Morgana at her father's shrine. Maybe this was the signal that Morgana was near? Or maybe it was just a sign saying she was insane. Perhaps the latter was the most obvious choice in this circumstance.

"How amusing…" A drawl that sounds and smells sweet makes Gwen turn her head to her right, her heart stopping in a second at the sight before her very eyes.

"Morgana…" Gwen whispers her knight's name like a prayer, her chocolate hues swimming with emotion at the dark emerald cloak that is covering her ex-mistress's head and body.

Morgana ignores her yet this time not out of fear but instead out of just plain arrogance as she walks closer to the shrine that bears her name, her face twisted into a smile.

"A shrine in my name?" Morgana turns to look at Gwen, this time with her usual face of confusion in which that Gwen has seen many times before in her dreams.

Gwen almost chokes on her own tongue, hardly able to believe that she is having a conversation with an enemy of Camelot and an enemy of herself. "It was Arthur's idea…In a way of saying goodbye to the old Morgana. The _dead _Morgana." Gwen adds the last part angrily, feeling old bitter rage starting to make her teeth clench and grind together at the memories that had resurfaced back at Morgana's father's shrine.

Gwen almost laughs at the genuine shock that starts to appear on Morgana's surprisingly tender features, her brow creasing and her eyes widening like they had when they had last met each other. "You truly believe that?"

"What other explanation could there be?" Gwen retorts, stepping forward so fiercely that Morgana takes a step back at her advance.

"I am Morgana." Morgana smiles sweetly, her head tilting to the side to acknowledge Gwen with this sweet serenade of a smile. "I have just not returned to Camelot in three years, surely you cannot blame me for that?"

"Morgana." Gwen cannot believe she is saying Morgana's name towards Morgana herself and to feel that feeling on her lips almost gives her an adrenaline rush which is strange when one has just witnessed a funeral. Though even if this does indeed…Dazzle her, Gwen continues with her speech.

"You have killed lives. Innocent ones." Gwen advances towards Morgana once more with a look of complete utter resentment, making the sorceress sidestep her own shrine to retreat further back. "You killed Uther. You almost killed me-"

"No." Morgana breaks through Gwen's sentence with her own angry retort, her eyes flaring a gold colour before settling back down to their usual willow. "I would never attempt to hurt you Guinevere. And if I ever did, I would want you to know I did not do so by my own control."

"Does that matter?" Gwen spits, her raven-haired locks flailing in every direction around her shoulders as she once more proceeded to make Morgana move backwards, further towards the stone walls of the castle's garden. "Does that matter at all? You have killed innocent lives Morgana and you think you can walk into Camelot and expect me to forgive you! You are a fool!"

"Innocents?" Morgana's face has scrunched up once more, a look of puzzlement that even has Gwen mystified. "I have done no such thing Guinevere. It may be part of my destiny to kill someone to gain more magical power but so far, I have not killed anyone who is branded innocent."

At this Gwen shudders. "So far? What are you planning Morgana?" Gwen can hardly believe she is actually still conscious and talking to Morgana and she slightly wonders if she should pinch herself to see if this is a dream.

"I plan nothing. If it was not for you then I would already know more secrets of my magic abilities but for me to know more and to expand them then I must kill someone with little importance to the world." Morgana explains sombrely, her willows eyes never leaving Gwen's own hues.

"You would kill someone just to have more power?" Gwen whispers hoarsely, her eyes already clouding in wetness and she can't help but want to throw up at Morgana's feet.

"Morgause said this was my destiny. Written in the stars. She has never been wrong before Gwen, how could I not do what she has asked of me?" Morgana explains with a sultry grin, making Gwen even more angrier than before at how it made her cheeks redden and eyes glaze over in lust.

"Because it is wrong!" Gwen can feel her voice getting higher and higher and with knowledge that soon Uther's funeral shall be officially over, she tries to lower her voice. "What you are doing is wrong! What you are saying is a lie! You killed Uther! Merlin confirmed it! You have killed your innocent! Now you have no business here!"

At this, Morgana chuckles freely with such a high pitch that Gwen can tell that Morgana has been ill over the past weeks due to such a high yet throaty laugh that sounded nothing like Morgana's old one. "Me? Kill Uther? No. That was the plan but of course it failed. No thanks to you."

"You were the one who ran!" Gwen retorts, her steps moving so quickly forward that Morgana's back as finally hit the garden wall. "You were the one who lied to me, who swore to protect me and instead becomes an enemy of Camelot!"

"An enemy?" Morgana isn't entirely upset about that, instead she looks rather proud of it. "Oh, Uther set that up did he?"

"You can hardly blame him!" Gwen very nearly laughed in disbelief at Morgana's dubious expression, wondering if Morgana even knew what she had went through due to loving her. Probably not but still, Gwen can hardly understand why Morgana is denying even touching Uther when Merlin himself confirmed it along with many other people. How does that even make sense?

"You stole from Camelot along with Morgause! We saw you! In the dead of night, raiding every house! From door-to-door!" Gwen rants on, her fingers curling into fists. Though that may be one reason why Gwen is furious with Morgana, the main reason is still left unanswered.

"I did not kill them…I spared their lives and wished them good health…" Morgana mutters under her breath, knowing well that reason alone is not enough to protect her from Guinvere's harsh scolding.

"You act as if that wipes away everything evil that you have done Morgana!" Gwen is so close to Morgana's mouth that if Morgana pounced forwards then she would be able to escape Gwen's mental grip without any trouble but still Morgana did not move almost as if she wanted the fire of her tongue to burn her porcelain skin. "But it does not! You think that I have forgotten that promise that you swore to me the night Tauren was killed?"

With this sentence flying past her lips, Gwen was almost smug to see that Morgana had turned her face away in shame.

"So you too have not forgotten." Gwen whispers carefully knowing that with the right words she can bring Morgana to her knees like Morgana has brought Gwen to her own knees. "You too remember what you swore."

"I am no longer the ward of a King, Guinevere." Morgana responded back coldly, her willow eyes piercing Gwen's chocolate ones. "You are of course right, I am not supposed to be here."

Gwen does not answer verbally for a moment, she instead takes the time to roll her eyes at Morgana's obvious action. Ignoring her was of course what Morgana did best whenever Gwen questioned Morgana's actions, whenever she thought those actions were wrong and whenever Morgana knew those actions were wrong.

"Then why have you come? To torture me even more with your presence?" Gwen croaks, ashamed to feel wetness at the corner of her eyes and with such a high presence in front of her, she whines in the back of her throat in what could be described as a natural human defence system.

Gwen begs to differ.

"Torture you? My adorable Guinevere…" Morgana's face is twinkling rather unusually in a way when she has something to hide. "I would never-"

"Then why are you HERE?" Gwen shrieks, her calm exterior that she had so hard tried to keep under control was now breaking leisurely around her and Morgana with so much power that Gwen cannot help but let another whine escape her. "Why are you here in Camelot with so many guards around you that I cannot believe you got here unscathed in the first place?"

"To see you." Morgana speaks so calmly that Gwen almost shrieks at Morgana for being so calm but at those words…Gwen can feel her heart start to beat once more in what can only be known as hope.

"What?" Brilliant. Gwen has never felt so utterly stupid in all of her life. Morgana had just said she came to Camelot, risked her life, risked everything to just see her and all she could say was 'what?'. It was amazing how life could be so cruel.

"Well…I…" Morgana turned her face away again, her pale fingers fumbling at her light blue dress which was mostly hidden by the emerald cloak that was wrapped so tightly that Gwen could imagine someone sending Morgana to her as an early birthday present.

But apart from that…Gwen almost smiled at the thought but really? Could Morgana really be?

"Are you being shy?" Gwen couldn't help but tease, wondering if that her teasing tone was appropriate for such a dark time then realizing that she didn't care anyway if it wasn't.

"I am certainly not!" Morgana replied with a petulant manner, her face swivelling back around to face Gwen properly with such a pout on her face that Gwen couldn't help but smile at the cute expression. "I have business here! That's all!"

Despite the obvious - which was Morgana being very secretive on why she was actually here - Gwen couldn't help it but let her brow crease in suspicion. "What sort of business?"

A shrill laugh escapes Morgana's soft, ruby red lips with such force that Gwen can feel the laughter on her own lips and face.

"As an enemy of Camelot and seeming as you are a citizen of Camelot…" Morgana arched a finely-shaped eyebrow, a look of mischief that made Gwen shudder. "I believe that information is strictly confidential. Don't you think?"

The laughter that had been slowly developing in the pit of Gwen's stomach immediately dispersed at that sentence replaced with undeniable frustration at the woman in front of her.

"This is no game Morgana! What is the REAL reason for you coming to Camelot? What has Morgause ordered you to do this time?" Gwen breathes heavily, her breath no doubt going all over Morgana's face in her rage. "Do not give me the lark of you actually coming to Camelot to see _me_. You had your chance three years ago. The real reason Morgana."

Morgana turns to the side taking her whole body with her as she went. "I have no reason to explain to you. I just thought that I'd…Let you know how I was. Perhaps that was the reason…" Morgana mutters in awkward confusion as she turns to leave the gardens, her emerald cloak swaying behind her as if it was kissing the ground that she walked on.

Gwen also turns, her feet already starting to speed up to give chase yet when she manages to rush to the garden's gate, Morgana is gone with nothing signalling that she was here apart from happy laughter ringing through the air.

She curses, half wondering if she is yelling at herself because she let Morgana escape or because she cannot believe she was talking to a soon-to-be murderer…Not to mention an enemy of Camelot.

"_Seyenoer…FIRA!"_

Gwen can hardly contain the bile that is mounting in the back of her throat at the screams that follow.

* * *

"Why?" Morgana screams so fitfully that Morgause feels a shocked smile creep up onto her expression at such wrath that explodes through her half sister's pulsing blood. "Why did you do that? There were people inside there and only some managed to survive!"

Morgause glances at her fingernails in a bored expression, her eyes only flickering up to meet Morgana's at a loud bang which is Morgana's hand slamming down on the table where Morgause rests her feet.

"I did what I did because it was necessary Morgana." Morgause explains calmly, the calm in her voice no doubt aggravating her half-sister even more. "It was originally your job but you got…distracted."

Morgana finally shuts up and at this silence Morgause knows exactly what is running through Morgana's mind without even forcing Morgana's mind open to her using her magical abilities.

"Guinevere again?" Morgause tuts in disappointment before flicking her finger towards Morgana's direction, making a chair scrape forward to take on Morgana's heavy, tired weight.

"I'm sorry…" Morgana whispers, her face red with shame and her hands are clenched underneath the table. "I don't know why but every time I think of Camelot I immediately think of her, every time I think of taking an innocent I cannot because she is there and - she is why I got distracted."

"A weakness?" Morgause eyes lighten up slightly in amazement. She knows very well every human being has a weakness but with Morgana she had never expected her maid-servant to be the very weakness that could bring Morgana down to her knees.

"No!" Morgana stares up at Morgause in fear, not for herself (Morgause knows this by the tremble of her lower lip) but for the wretched maid back in Camelot that is blissfully unaware of Morgause's forming rage. "No! Never! My weakness is not her."

A weak smile doesn't help Morgause's doubts. "Not her."

Morgause clears her throat, a fine arched blonde brow silently challenging Morgana which Morgana accepts unwillingly with her willow eyes.

"You and her exist on two different planes now Morgana. She has picked where she wants to be as you have picked where you want to be." Morgause removes her feet from the wooden table. "You know you cannot have both."

Morgana says nothing because there is nothing left to say.

* * *

"Morgana did this?" Gwen asks Gaius, her watery eyes making her even angrier than she had been before. Because why? Why can she not stop _crying?_

"We do not know Gwen." Gaius answers dishonestly, failing to meet Gwen's probing eyes and instead looking out of the window where a fiery tornado guards Uther's stone statue where his body is encased. "All that we do know is that this spell was meant to destroy Uther's statue but of course, has failed due to Merlin placing protective magic on the casing."

Silence…

"I'm…I'm-" Gwen stutters, unable to finish the sentence which she most likely already knows the answer to.

"Yes my dear. You are." Gaius says quietly, the sympathy in his voice making Gwen sob dryly once more against his shoulder.

"Does she know?" Gaius asks her, his voice frail and so old that Gwen just wants to curl up against his side and die.

"It has been three years since I've talked to her Gaius…" Gwen lies, wondering if Gaius would accept her if she told him what had happened in the castle gardens. "How am I supposed to tell her?"

"I am not a fool Gwen." Is Gaius's answer, an answer that makes Gwen shudder and her mind ache.

"_Damn her…Damn her, damn her, damn her!"_


	3. Morgana's Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: Morgana's Lullaby  
> TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
> Rating: T - M  
> Chapter Rating: T  
> Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
> Chapter Summary: Gwen's nightmares become so real that she cannot wake herself up until morning has risen and such nights bring so many strange things that Gaius himself can hardly believe what he sees one night he and Merlin keeps an eye on Gwen's sleeping form.  
> Genre: Angst/Romance  
> Chapter Type: Plot **

**Title: Morgana's Lullaby  
TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
Rating: T - M  
Chapter Rating: T  
Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
Chapter Summary: Gwen's nightmares become so real that she cannot wake herself up until morning has risen and such nights bring so many strange things that Gaius himself can hardly believe what he sees one night he and Merlin keeps an eye on Gwen's sleeping form.  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Chapter Type: Plot **

**For a quick note: Morgana's Lullaby is actually Leliana's Song from Dragon Ages. Listen to the song and you may understand why I picked it more. It is a very deep song about love, loss, sorrow, joy, everything. Also, a very heartbreaking one that fit's the Morgana/Gwen relationship perfectly in this story.**

**   
_Oh and just as another note, thank you to all reviewers who reviewed last chapter. You're all extremely kind. Hope you had a Merry Christmas too ;D I know I did. -hugs Merlin books like her life depends on it-_   
**

* * *

As he is not yet twenty-seven, Arthur still remains the Prince of Camelot whilst his should-be-role is filled by Uther's old friend called Tristan who is also of royal blood but had chosen to live in the mountains in hiding…Arthur can't imagine why, he was so good at being the King of Camelot that people brought him gifts everyday yet the Prince has rather acute suspicions that these presents are from a far away land which is not Camelot.

It isn't fair of course, Arthur only ruled for two days and then it was all over…Tristan had taken over and there was nothing he could do about it.

"It is my title. Why should I not be allowed to rule?" Arthur speaks calmly, knowing that it is always customary to do so when speaking to old people just in case they go rather savage on you in return.

Advisers of Uther. Hah, a joke. These old men are no advisers, these men are greedy and even if Arthur is too proud to admit it, they are a lot like Uther when it comes to the Kingdom.

"You are not yet a man." One of Uther's advisers say, his riley grey beard making his face look like he had developed a grey rash all around his face because of how large his beard was. "You are softer than your father my lord, you will only become King when we are sure you will rule with an iron fist."

"I am the heir to the throne!" Arthur speaks louder this time, wondering if these advisers will see how his face has gone a horrible red colour and therefore would rethink their decision.

"An heir to the throne who has not even caught and killed the two witches that have made your father's funeral turn to ashes? Uther would be disgraced by this!" Another adviser, this one younger than the rest and obviously the most cockiest.

Arthur feels as if his throat has dried up and that the only thing not keeping him choking on his own tongue is the fact that Merlin is behind him, silently offering him support. What can he say to that? What should he say to that? How would these people understand that he couldn't, wouldn't capture Morgana because that would lead to certain death.

Guinevere was already…already…He couldn't finish his own thought as it made him, Arthur want to throw up again due to the future that was so sure to come if he _didn't _find Morgana despite what Gaius had told him.

Morgana may be used as a weapon by Morgause to slaughter her enemies but if nurtured by him could instead become a _healer_, a healer that could definitely heal Gwen without question or hesitation.

Then laughter, laughter that is so mocking and scorning that it makes Arthur want to clamp his hands over his ears and yell at them all to stop, stop before-!

Before what? He slaughters them all with his sword? He is no longer a teenager who is just developing into a man, he cannot just throw his problems away with a swish of his sword. He is the rightful king of Camelot and to yell and scream at such laughter is not helping him become the very being he must be for the future of Camelot.

"Oh is this true?" Another adviser chuckles heartedly at him, tears spilling from the corner of his eyes that are batting so quickly that it makes Arthur growl silently in his throat at how much of an aggravation this certain adviser was. Guy. Guy Ruthsbane. A traitor to Camelot in Arthur's eyes but a close friend in Uther's…Guy had never wanted him to be King.

With a half-hearted snarl, Arthur turned his dark hues back onto Guy's own beady little black eyes, his teeth clenched together so tightly that Arthur silently conjectured whether the advisers could hear his teeth grind together like stone. "What?"

"That a fair maiden who roams this castle's very walls is in love with the foul-hearted witch!" Guy's smile is smug and it does nothing but make Arthur want to punch him straight in his grinning little face.

Arthur wished that he had something in his hand, something that he could drill all his anger and fury on so that he wouldn't let his utter rage blind him from common sense, so that it wouldn't make him lose control of the situation even if he wasn't handling this situation well anyway.

"Of course that's not true!" Arthur spat, his anger starting to fuel his sentence and making his sentence sound harder and colder than it had meant to be. "When have you, the advisers of Camelot listened to such malicious lies?"

"Of course!" Guy roared with laughter, the tone of it not sounding right for an old man. "She is no fair maiden is she? But the witch's old beloved maid servant!" Guy added with such vehemence that it sounded as if poison was spilling from his pale, cold lips.

No, he can't stand this any longer. He will not stand here and let Gwen be torn to pieces by these men, he will not stand here and listen, he will not let these men get to him but he must go somewhere for he cannot stand this room any longer than he could when his father was alive.

"I ask permission to leave." Arthur muttered quietly, his fists clenched behind his back in clear viewing of Merlin's worried eyes.

No doubt he will not have permission to leave which means more gloating from his 'new' advisers…

Yet that is not what happens seeming as before Arthur can even wait for a reply, Merlin is in front of him with his hands raised to his waist in a defensive stance.

"_Merlin! What on EARTH are you doing?"_ Arthur is in total shock, never had he expected for someone like Merlin to push in front of him to have a word with such high superiors as the royal advisers.

"You have no right to discriminate Gwen!" Merlin's yell is louder and more harder than Arthur's, his shout stunning the advisers into unearthly silence. "She is wiser and more noble than you all will ever be!"

With a sigh Arthur steps forward and grabs both of Merlin's arms, turning his back on the advisers to lead his man-servant out of the room so that the dim-witted idiot (Merlin) couldn't make himself look even more like a fool than he already looked in the royal eye.

Once out of the court room, Arthur heaves another heavy sight before pushing Merlin against the wall with both of his hands around his man servant's shoulders and a look of pure ferociousness in his wild hues. "Are you completely insane?"

"A-are you!" Merlin snarls in reply, his back being pressed up against hard stone not helping his speech one bit at the coldness on his neck. "H-how can you stand there, so brass and so tall without defending Gwen from all the things that they said about her?"

"Because servants and royalty cannot exist as one, Merlin!" Arthur answers with a husky growl, his hands pressing Merlin up against the icy stone even harder than before, making the man wince. "That is why! And even if I do not agree with those terms, it is how the law is! The way my father left it! And I cannot change that law until I am King!"

Arthur pushed his hands off his manservant, fearing that if he gripped Merlin's shoulders any longer that he would not be able to stop himself because desire is dangerous and Arthur has always tried to be peaceful before setting himself into the world of blood and gore.

Merlin does not meet his eyes but of course, what does Arthur expect, hugs and kisses and 'forget-this-situation' talk? No. Arthur does not expect this and Merlin does not disappoint him.

"Well, uhm…" Arthur consciously messes with his hair, ruffling it so that it sticks out like a terribly shaped hat. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you in any way or are you-?"

"No. I'm good." Merlin reassures him with a crooked smile, glancing down at his chest with little doubt that it would be bruised.

"Well, that's…Good. Uh." Arthur tries to bring a smile to his face also but fails miserably. He's never been good at this sort of thing even though he's had some practice in his time in the art of clumsily trying not to seduce Merlin but still, he was terrible at it. "See you at the feast?"

"Yes sire." Merlin bows his head, already feeling a grin spreading on his face at Arthur's unusual quick footsteps.

* * *

"Singers are to perform at the feast tonight." Merlin brings up the subject casually while sitting with Gwen in her home, her hands wringing the water out of a cloth that she had been using to clean her windows with. "I've heard they'll be staying for a whole week."

"Really?" Gwen looks up, letting the cloth drop from her hands before then shoving her sleeves up - it was her father's old tunic that she wore when doing chores around the house and it was what Gwen normally wore when going around Camelot apart from the castle, she didn't know why because there was no Morgana to go to anymore so she didn't have to dress up or anything.

"Yup…Weird. Don't you think?" Merlin tilts his head to the side, still curious about why the singers would be staying for so long.

"Why do you say that?" Gwen sits down opposite Merlin with her elbows leaning up against the wood, hardly ladylike but Gwen has lost the ability to care how unladylike she is and besides…Sir Leon seems to like her that way. Sir Leon seems to like her anyway now that she thinks about it…

"They're from Tintagel which to be fair is a long way away on foot but from what I hear…Tintagel are an unfriendly lot and don't like to stay for too long." Merlin explained, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Weird…"

"Maybe they _are_ nice people and you're only listening to rumours again?" Gwen teased with a smile, resting her own chin in the palm of her hand.

Merlin grinned back, glad to see that Gwen still bore her pretty, appealing smile that Merlin was positive Morgana had fallen in love with.

"Yeah, well…" Merlin laughed silently, his body trembling with laughter. It had been a while since he had laughed so for Gwen to cheer him up was a surprise since his friend was mostly surveying the kingdom in hope that Morgana would come back. Hardly a person to have a nice cheerful chat with but Gwen was his best friend and Merlin never believed in giving up hope, especially in someone.

"I heard what happened between you, Arthur and the advisers earlier this morning." Gwen slides the subject in as casually as Merlin, himself did. But Merlin did not end his sentence with a sad smile the way Gwen did and for that reason, Merlin covers Gwen's free hand with his own free hand.

"News gets around fast…" Merlin breathes out breathlessly, as if he has run ten whole laps around Camelot.

"How can it not? Your little outburst practically echoed through the streets of Camelot." Gwen whispers, her eyes alert in way that shows her fear of people being around her home to listen in on their talk.

"You should have heard what they were saying Gwen!" Merlin protests, his voice high and squeaky as it always is when he is feeling pressurised. "What they were saying about you was so wrong and evil that I couldn't help but intervene!"

"What does it matter?" Gwen's voice is also getting louder and higher and to Merlin's horror, her eyes are once more getting watery. "I have gotten used to such wickedness and malevolency that it is hardly a subject that I fail to understand."

"How can you let people run you down like this Gwen?" Merlin finds himself almost snarling at his best friend, his voice desperate and hoarse. "How can you bear it? Aren't you ashamed of it?"

"Ashamed of what Merlin?" Gwen retorts, her chocolate eyes blazing fiercely with such harsh loyalty that Merlin can hardly look at her. "I already know to be ashamed, the only family I have left have made sure that I _do_ feel the shame on my tongue and face!"

Merlin pauses in his movements of getting up, his face expressing shock and his body slumping back down into the hardness of Gwen's kitchen chair. "What? Your family?"

Gwen heaved a sigh, wiping her face with both of her hands to try and get the sleep out of her eyes. "Yes, they disowned me about seven months ago."

Merlin's eyes, if possible widened even more. "Disowned? But Gwen! How are you going to get enough money? You said your aunt sent you money every month or so, how on earth are you going to have enough money to…" The young warlock doesn't continue, already knowing he has hit onto a very uncomfortable subject.

"I'll be fine." Gwen doesn't reassure him, even with her convincing smile. "I've managed before, I won't stop managing now."

"No." Merlin shakes his head, Gwen has looked after him before in difficult situations…Now it was his turn to make it up to his friend. "Come and stay with me and Gaius…Just until you get back on your feet again."

At this Gwen laughs, her head held up high and her laughter echoing through her home. "Are you sure that is just the reason why you want me to stay with you and Gaius? It has nothing to do with my nightmares?"

"Well now that you mention it-" Merlin begins light-heartedly, knowing very well that this subject (like Morgana) is a very delicate one.

"Then no I'm not coming to stay with you and Gaius." Gwen says with a wry tone, her chocolate hues straying away from Merlin's stare.

"_Gwen!" _Merlin cannot help but protest, even he has seen the way Gwen's eyes seem to grow darker each passing day due to lack of sleep. "Your nightmares are getting _worse_, you do know that right?"

With a huff, Gwen turns her head away from Merlin. "I'm fine. I do not need or require Gaius's assistance."

Merlin rolls his eyes in response, also muttering a quick 'yeah right' for an added touch against Gwen's verdict of not need helping.

"I do not need help!" Gwen has turned her head back around to face him properly, her stare making Merlin's stomach wriggle. And not in the way Arthur makes it wriggle.

"Well if you ever need my help-"

"I won't." Gwen cuts across his sentence as if she was Arthur slicing through his words with his silver-daggered tongue.

"Fine!" Merlin throws his hands up in defeat, because what is the point in arguing with Gwen anyway?

__

* * *

_Gaius knew very well that spying on a woman wasn't the most profound thing he had ever done in his life but he was only doing this for the right reason._

_Or so he thought. Gwen would never catch him anyway seeming as he only 'observed' her when she was fast asleep so that was about 99% of her not catching him in the act._

_Research. Research. Just simple research but even Gaius was not a fool enough to believe in his own, truthful excuses._

"_Are you sure this is a good idea?" Merlin whispered behind him, his voice full of doubt and worry. Worry of getting caught and doubt because Merlin was not a fool and didn't think they'd be able to pull this stunt off for long._

"_Of course it isn't a good idea, but it is the only idea we've got." Gaius responded back calmly, sitting down in Gwen's own rocking chair with what Gaius hoped to be a soft landing so that it wouldn't interfere Gwen's sleep._

"_What if she wakes up and finds us staring right back at her?" Merlin asked his friend, kneeling down next to Gaius's side with a look that says he himself does not like the spying and the creeping around…Especially late at night._

"_She will not awaken until morning." Gaius states the facts simply as if he has been studying Gwen's sleeping patterns for all his life._

"_How do you know?" Merlin questions again, moving from Gaius's side to sit next to his friend on her single bed; half of him wishing to hold her hand to comfort her while the other half wanting to keep his distance…_

"_No more questions Merlin. We wait." Gaius cuts across Merlin as he is about to speak again, his blue eyes twinkling in the moonlight._

_Silence between them in Gwen's house does not last long. In fact Merlin hadn't even counted to ten sheep when Gwen's body began to twitch and tremble next to him as if she had a fever and a low whine making Merlin shake all over._

"_What's happening?" Merlin whispers in sheer desolation, never seeing Gwen like this before in his whole life._

"_No!" Gwen cries out anxiously, her body arching forward so that her hands are gripping Merlin's tunic with such force that Merlin is sure he can hear the fabric rip because of Gwen's long nails. "You cannot keep her!"_

_Gwen's sharp and long nails start to dig into Merlin's skin, making the warlock cringe at such pain that is starting to make his eyes water and his head to spin at the thought of Gwen actually piercing him open._

"_Be still Merlin." Gaius whispers harshly, his front leaning forward so that his face is almost touching Gwen's bed._

"_Easy for you to say!" Merlin snapped back in a ruthless whisper, his eyes glancing down to see that Gwen's fingers were starting to withdraw from his tattered blue shirt._

"_No…Not my knight…You may take my life, but hers is another matter!" Gwen shouted in her sleep with righteous wrath and rage, her body shaking and her fists clenching the sheets underneath her._

'_Morgana?' Merlin mouthed to Gaius who looked like he was about to explode with pure and honest curiosity and only answered him with a shrug of his aged shoulders._

_Suddenly a wind started to pick up (making windows and doors fling open) and lightning began to flash around Gwen's house, making both Merlin and Gaius jump up from their positions to rush towards windows and doors alike to close them._

"_Hnngh!" Merlin grunted as he used all his strength to pull back two windows to their original positions at the same time, a task that wasn't the most easiest without magic but Merlin certainly was not ready to risk exposure just to save Gwen's house from getting cold and wet._

"_Where did the rain come from?" Merlin panted his question to Gaius after conquering his own personal task, his face wet from the merciless downpour that had surprised him._

_When Gaius did not answer, Merlin feared that the physician's worst fear had happened and Gwen had woke up before proceeding to kick the living hell out of him._

_So when Merlin had actually turned to check on his friend, the picture he was greeted with wasn't what he had expected in the least._

"_Morgana?" Gaius stammered, his face turning down into a frown, making him look like a huge gigantic frown altogether (including his head and neck)._

_Morgana was sitting directly beside Gwen with a soft smile on her soaked ivory features, one hand holding Gwen's tightly in her sleep while another stroked Gwen's sweaty forehead, her soft muttering making Morgana smile even more._

_The enchantress looked absolutely drenched and her dark locks were wrapped around her neck and face as if Morgana had literally gone for a swim in the lake, her clothes also fitting the picture of her diving underneath the voracious lake._

"_Gwen…" Morgana whispered softly, her hand that rested on Gwen's forehead moving away the damp curls that was starting to cling to Gwen's dark skin. "Ssh…ssh…No more nightmares…I'm here now."_

_In response, Gwen whined and clutched at Morgana's hand as if it was only thing keeping her alive before muttering sleepily and turning over to embrace Morgana's other hand with her own. "…M-Morgana?"_

_Morgana only grinned at Gwen's sleepy talk._

_With that confirmation, Merlin positioned himself with his hands ready and his eyes flickering a bright gold. "Ic ateniobe!"_

_Morgana's face flickered towards Merlin's own and with a provoked grin, brushed Merlin's spell back towards the warlock with both of her hands. "Do not think your petty magic spells can harm me."_

_Bewildered, Merlin stared at his hands as if they held the answer to the whole world and more. "How come nothing happened?" He turned towards his old master. "Gaius?"_

"_Because I have no intention to do anything to harm any of you." Morgana spoke in a enforced tone, answering Merlin's question with a look that said that if Merlin tried any wrong move on her again, he would not be so lucky with just a simple 'push-back' spell._

"_I'm sure you meant that when you made everyone fall asleep in Camelot so Morgause could attack about three years ago, isn't that right?" Merlin growled, the memories of Gwen's heartbroken face and tears was enough to make him want to kill Morgana right where she sat._

_Arching a delicate eyebrow in humour, Morgana let out a chuckle before looking back at Gwen again with a soft fondness in her willow hues._

"_How can you laugh at that?" Merlin stepped forward, his hands already ready for another spell that he hoped could put Morgana in her place without tearing Morgana in two. "Gwen was in that castle!"_

_At this, Morgana's face tensed and her own hands lay in her lap with her palms facing up at him in what could only be translated as 'talk-again-and-you-shall-feel-my-wrath' but Merlin couldn't help himself…He needed to let Morgana know the alternatives of what could have happened if it hadn't been for him and of course…Morgause._

_The enchantress turned her face towards him, a composed angry glare making a shiver run down Merlin's spine in such a way that Merlin had a weird feeling that he would start running into Arthur's bedroom in a few seconds in comfort of warm arms and warm sheets._

"_Morgana…" Gaius spoke warily, stepping forward so that he was beside Merlin so that he could jump in front of the boy if harm came his way._

"_Let me remind you something Merlin…" Morgana murmured heatedly, her teeth looking so much like fangs that it reminded Merlin of the time when he had to bear facing Freya, the lady of the lake. "Was it not you who almost got Gwen sentenced to death for something she did not do? Sorcery for example?"_

"_Petty." Merlin hastily responded back towards Morgana, his eyes searching everywhere for a point where he could use another spell on Morgana to get away from Gwen._

"_I already warned you. Use magic on me again and you yourself shall face the dire consequences." Morgana reminded the warlock callously, her eyes animalistic in such a way that Merlin humoured himself by thinking that maybe Gwen would have liked Morgana's eyes like that when looking at her._

"_I don't intend to." Merlin lied, placing his hands behind his back in a way not to tempt himself. "But that isn't what we should be talking about is it?"_

"_Of course." Morgana nodded in agreement, willow hues sparkling in silent puzzlement._

"_Why are you here?" Merlin asked, stepping forward to sit on the opposite side of Morgana at the end of Gwen's bed, his hand resting on Gwen's back in case Morgana tried anything against him._

_Turning her face away from his gaze, Morgana turned her attention back onto Gwen's form who was resting her head on Morgana's thigh in such a comfy way that Morgana could not help but to smile once more affectionately at Gwen's warm, oblivious movements._

"_I…Morgause does not know I am here." Morgana murmured, leaning down to nuzzle her nose against Gwen's hand that rested on her silk-covered navel. "She thinks I am off killing my first innocent."_

"_First?" At this Gaius intervened, his grey strands sticking up in all sorts of directions as if from stress. "How many sacrifices must be made Morgana for Morgause's insane attempts to make you her weapon?"_

"_Morgause is my leader Gaius, I follow her proudly." Morgana spoke in a strong, dominant voice that held so much compassion that Gaius did not talk again for a long time._

"_Would you follow her proudly if you knew that Gwen's mind is corrupted by hers and yours shadows whenever she closes her eyes?" Merlin speaks softly with vicious rage, his ingenuous whisper making Morgana stare even more longingly at the woman sleeping in her lap with such sadness that Merlin almost felt sorry for her._

"_Mine?" Morgana is saddened by this, Merlin can tell how her eyes seem to water and her eyelids begin to fade into a red tinge. "She has nightmares of me and Morgause?"_

_Merlin nodded, his face grave and his lip jutted out into a pout. "Yeah. We've been studying her progress and it seems like that."_

"_Then we must wake her!" Morgana takes Gwen's face in both of her hands, ready to awake Gwen until once again, Gaius speaks with a voice that startles Merlin out of his thoughts of trying to get rid of Morgana in case the guards come and check on Gwen's home and see the enchantress through the windows._

"_She cannot be wakened until morning when her nightmares are over. That is how her body is reacting towards the nightmares, as a defensive shield." Gaius reasoned with Morgana, standing directly behind Merlin with a morose expression on his face._

"_But I have calmed her! Surely she can be awakened!" Morgana is insistent however, her willows eyes shining so much that Merlin wants to glance away from the scene of an enchantress cradling a maidservant's face in her god-like hands that is just so unreal and…beautiful that it makes him want to spit at the floor in disgust of himself._

_Because what Morgana is saying is true, Gwen is calm and no longer murmuring such words that would tell them that she was in a nightmare and Merlin is just furious with himself seeming as he was supposed to figure it out, him, a warlock of Camelot…_

_Not an enemy of Camelot._

"_No. Waking up to see your face? Do you not think you've hurt Gwen enough?" Merlin answers Morgana's question with a bitter frown on his face that hides his pain as much as it hides his love for his old friend._

_He doesn't hate Morgana, he never has and Merlin is pretty sure he never will. As Gwen says, he only hates what Morgana has done and Merlin is pretty sure he is only holding back due to that reason._

_Once Merlin even thought he loved Morgana. Just a little…_

_But that of course changed when he had seen the hurt look on Gwen's face whenever Morgana seemed to flirt with passing knights and suitors that tried to make a pass at her yet the sweet, devoted look Gwen had when she was talking about Morgana to him as if Morgana was the most kind-hearted flower to ever spring from soil and moss._

_That was when Merlin understood what love was and at that split second, he knew he never had loved Morgana._

_Morgana does not answer him and instead stands up from Gwen's bed as if she is to leave the house. Merlin also stands, just in case Morgana is planning to do just that without any sign of concealment._

"_I must go. Morgause will begin to wonder." Morgana whispers, her eyes caressing Gwen's face like water caressing the rocks that it streamed over with such warmth that Merlin felt his dislike for Morgana ebb away a little._

"_I'll come with you to make sure you don't do an-" Before Merlin can finish Gwen whines again and reaches out towards Morgana, startling the enchantress slightly, her eyes wide and questioning._

"_Another nightmare?" Merlin asks Gaius, instantly at Gwen's side with his hands on her back once more._

"_It would seem like it." Gaius confirms with a nod, a frown larger than his whole face appearing again on his expression. "This is impossible…Gwen seems to know when Morgana is by her side in her sleep and at that time she feels the most…serene and relaxed."_

_Merlin risks a glance at Morgana, his eyes curious and alert at Morgana's confused, watery hues that reminds Merlin of the time when he first saw Morgana cry helplessly…_

_When Gwen had been readied to be executed. That was the first time Merlin had ever seen Morgana cry and he had always hoped it would be the last. Apparently, he was wrong._

"_I cannot stay…Morgause is already curious why I keep blocking her away from my mind." Morgana explains to them both, her eyes childlike and holding so much hurt that Merlin wished he hadn't decided to come with Gaius to study Gwen's sleeping patterns. "To stay for longer would surely risk Gwen's life. I cannot stay…"_

"_Risk her life?" Merlin sat up straight, his respect that had started to overgrow the 'dislike' he had for Morgana dispersing at her words. "How would Morgause know anything about Gwen? Gwen's a simple maidservant, what does it matter about Gwen?"_

_Morgana bit her lower lip in response, her right hand reaching out for Gwen's face before recoiling back as if she had been struck. "Morgause…She can…"_

_Merlin waited for her response eagerly, eyes moving from Gaius's form to Morgana's with eager concentration._

"_She can read my mind…She can see what I dream for, what I long for…She can see everything about me." Morgana whispered breathlessly, the voice that used to be so strong and bold now sounding like a little girl who had been scolded._

"_What? But didn't you say that you can block her from your thoughts?" Merlin intervened, suspicion once again clouding his thoughts._

"_Only at long distances. And sometimes when I try VERY hard. But it's so hard…" Morgana explains gently, timidly even almost as if Merlin would strike her into obedient silence. "It's as if fire is burning within my head. Dancing into my thoughts, dreams and desires…All the time."_

_Gaius stepped forward towards his old friend, his hands reaching out to grasp Morgana's in his own with such intensity that Merlin was slightly afraid that his friend would anger Morgana at such a tight grip._

"_My poor child…What has she done to you?" Gaius murmured, a wrinkled hand reaching up to stroke away the locks that clung to Morgana's damp skin._

"_Nothing! She is my sister, she has always reassured me what she is doing is for the greater good!" Morgana moved away from Gaius's touch, a weak tender smile that Merlin had missed appearing on her face before disappearing like smoke. "She would never hurt me."_

_Merlin was about to reply with a witty comment about how much sisterly love Morgause was spreading when a primal cry echoed through Gwen's house, startling all three of them so much that Morgana almost collapsed on Gwen's twitching body in shock._

"_Gwen!" The enchantress whispered, gripping for Gwen's hand and then squeezing tightly that Merlin was more than a little worried that Gwen would awaken yet before Merlin could even think of warning Morgana of this, Morgana had perched once more on Gwen's bed - holding her hand as if it was the only thing keeping her on the ground._

"_D-don't leave me!" Gwen cried out, her mind hazy from the dreams she was having and not yet registering the fact that Morgana was right beside her. To shelter her from the storm._

"_I'm not. Ssh-ssh…" Morgana cooed and shushed Gwen, rain droplets that had been splattered all over her face starting to drip down her neck and then splash just below Gwen's chin._

_And that was how Morgana stayed in Camelot for a whole night under Merlin's and Gaius's supervision, holding Gwen's hand to stop herself from leaving the dream and heading back into reality._

_Yet when Merlin had awoke (for he had fallen asleep under such pressure of keeping awake) Morgana had gone and Gwen was murmuring her name with so much hope that Merlin woke Gaius up and left in fear of yelling furiously at the skies for letting Morgana escape from Gwen's grasp once more..._

* * *

The bards of Tintagel were fairly handsome and very, very young; that alone making them popular with the ladies of Camelot and the whole castle in general.

"Do you think Arthur likes these bards as much as the castle does?" Merlin whispered to Gwen, watching the bards start to file into the room in a straight line.

With a tug of her lips, Gwen glanced up at her friend. "Why do you ask that of all things? Jealous?"

Turning a vibrant red colour, Merlin let out a nervous little chuckle that clearly gave his game away before it even started. "Me? Jealous? No way! Who would want to be romanced by that prat?"

"Oh who indeed." Gwen laughed teasingly, smiling mostly because she could tease Merlin about this and forget Morgana for a little while. Not long, but enough for her to remain sane.

"Get off it!" Merlin laughs with Gwen, hitting her arm gently to try and stop her little taunts and teases that would do nothing but make him turn as red as his scarf that hung around his neck.

Once they have both stopped laughing, Gwen starts to observe Arthur casually as he sits next to Tristan, his face sour and a pout that is so large that Gwen herself giggles at it.

"He's impatient to be King." Merlin explains with a jab of his elbow into Gwen's side, making his friend glance at him. "That's why he's in such a bad mood."

Nodding, Gwen shrugged her shoulders. "Well, what can you do? The advisers won't let him become King until he has proved his worth but in my opinion, he already has."

"They don't think that. For Arthur to prove his worth he has to catch Morgana and that is something he doesn't want to-" Then realizing what he has just said, Merlin cuts himself off with a cough.

Gwen sniffs, not to get rid of tears like she usually does but because of the fact that Arthur is such a good friend that her heart is starting to well up, twist and turn in happiness.

"I can see why I thought I was in love with him." Gwen responds to Merlin with a slight, cheerful smile. "He's such a good man. I cannot wait until he is King."

Merlin looks back at Gwen as though Gwen has just said that Arthur is great at dancing with pigs. "But he has to capture…-"

"I know…" Gwen meets his gaze, a smile on her red, plump lips. "But…Maybe…Maybe Arthur will…Save her?"

"Save her?" Merlin is not mystified at his friend, Gwen has never given up hope in Morgana and since the night that Morgana came to them he himself has always gone his way to protect Morgana from any sneering comments.

"Morgana is not a bad person." Gwen replies with a smile that is so sad and hopeful that Merlin almost tells Gwen of the night where he, Gaius and Morgana kept her peaceful.

"No." Merlin agrees with a nod. "She isn't a bad person at all. The things she's done isn't her fault either…" He answers Gwen's enquiring look immediately with a quick crooked smirk. "I just know it."

Gwen doesn't reply to that subject, instead she rolls her eyes slightly at him before looking over at Arthur and some bards that are crowding King Tristan and Arthur with such euphoria that Gwen can only just make out Arthur by his crown.

Merlin also looks over, an eyebrow arched in curiosity along with something else that could only be described as envy. Envy because it was hard for him to even speak to Arthur in public…Unlike these bards who could prance and sing and do whatever to Arthur without being judged.

Gwen shrugs at the scene, looking back at Merlin. "Going to tell them to stay away from your man?"

Merlin almost chokes on his tongue, coughing and gurgling so much that Gaius (who is on the other side of the room) stares at him strangely.

"_Stay away from my man?" _Merlin gasps out, glancing back at Gwen with his face redder than his scarf. "Are you just coming up with these as you come along? This is the fifth time today you've said something like that about me and Arthur."

In response, Gwen smirks suavely like a Cheshire cat. "I'm not coming up with them as I go along. I've just been saving them."

"You're despicable…" Merlin doesn't bother to say anything else on the matter, Gwen will always find a way to outwit him.

"Oh, is that bard touching Arthur's crown?" Gwen giggles, pointing at a certain bard who is VERY close to Arthur with a red face that already tells Gwen he is drunker than a skunk.

"What?" Merlin couldn't help himself, he really, really couldn't. But now that he did look, he could see that this particular bard WAS getting extremely close to Arthur. "Right…Time to spill wine over Arthur."

And with that, Merlin marched towards Arthur with a possessive aura following him - making Gwen laugh hard as her friend left her side to go to his master's.

For a while, Gwen stood there in wait of the bard's to actually get prepared and start to sing with nothing really bothering her apart from wondering if she'd made sure her water lilies were assembled properly in the front window…Nothing wasn't going to get her to think of her knight, nothing at all…This was her night to enjoy herself. Somehow.

"Guinevere?"

Startled, Gwen looked up from where she had been staring into space to catch the eyes of someone who through the past three years had become someone very special to her.

"Sir Leon?" Gwen bowed her head slightly, her hands slipping from behind her back to entwine together at her front in submission.

"Please, don't bow." Leon placed an armoured hand on her shoulder, his smile brightening her thoughts and overshadowing the torture of Morgana that still would not leave her mind no matter how hard she tried. "We're friend remember? We-"

"We are just different classes." Gwen interrupted, a weak smile on her face to try and get rid of that painful knowledge. Why must all her friends (apart from Merlin and Gaius obviously) be a class above her?

"Well yes, but in my mind that hardly matters…" Leon lets his hand slip from her shoulder, his steeled hand cooling Gwen's fingers down until that cold is gone and all is left but a numb feeling in her fingers. "I was wondering if you were enjoying yourself. You look spaced out."

Gwen clears her throat, wishing that sometimes she would just keep her mouth closed so she didn't have to awkward a conversation. "Uhm, yes I suppose I'm fine. Just a little tired."

That's a lie. Gwen isn't just tired. She's exhausted from all the nightmares that she keeps having that seem to drain her energy like water draining fire from it's pain and hurt and she feels like she is ready to collapse.

Morgana's memory is draining her and if Gwen didn't know any better, she even suspects that was what Morgana planned all along…To slowly kill her to spare Morgana the strife of killing her face-to-face.

"Excuse me milady but are you Guinevere?"

Gwen turns, understandingly shocked to hear a stranger (maybe a noble) should call her a 'lady' and her full name all in one question.

She never expected to be standing in front of a female bard who holds such beauty, that it rivals almost every noble woman's in Camelot and obviously at such beauty, Gwen does not feel worthy of even being called such a high-addressed name.

Sir Leon removes himself from her side - to Gwen's relief - to go and talk to Arthur and the rest of the knights, leaving Gwen and this strange, gorgeous woman alone with each other.

"Uhm." Gwen let out a little laugh after clearing her throat, earning a smirk from the woman. "Yes, yes I am. Is there anything you need for your performance?"

In response, the woman tugged on Gwen's long sleeved bodice, making Gwen step forward so that she was now being dragged away from the main hall and outside in the long, winding corridors which only remained silent - signalling that there were no guards outside of the main hall.

"Excuse me!" Gwen protested once she had gotten halfway out of the main hall door, her features furrowed in frustration. "Hey? Where are we going?"

"Please, shush. I have no intention on hurting you but if you don't listen to me I can take back that intention quite easily." The woman growls at her throatily as if she has a cough, her soft hands pulling her out of the main hall with a fierce wrench.

"And I have no intention to hurt you, but I will also take back that intention if you do not let me go." Gwen warned back with her own husky growl that finally made the woman loosen her grip, giving Gwen the chance to move her arm away from the woman's hand so that they were now about two steps away from each other.

"Feisty eh? Great. Now hold still and hopefully you'll be good enough not to hit me." The woman grinned teasingly, her hands smoothing out her clothes that seemed so baggy on her Gwen wondered if she was wearing some of the older men's clothes instead of her own.

"Hit you? Apart from you dragging me off I don't see any other reason to hit- mhmhm!" Gwen was cut off from her talking by a pair of lips locked on her own, the red lips caressing her own with such vigour Gwen was pretty sure she could even feel the woman's tongue snaking out and rubbing against her own lips.

Gwen decides that she isn't going to hit this woman. She decides that she is just going to scream at the guards to arrest her for this assault, especially from someone she does not even know the name of.

Pushing herself away, Gwen instinctively lifts her hand to slap the woman across the face to try and show this woman sense because Gwen has never been so angry in all her life. Not even when Morgana was taken by Morgause has she ever been this angry…She feels tarnished and she knows that she shouldn't seeming as Morgana would never ever ravage her lips like this stranger has.

Before Gwen can even connect with this woman's cheek however, her hand is caught mid air and all that fills Gwen's mind is teasing laughter.

"Oh you really are Guinevere! Sorry about that my friend, but I had to make sure you were really Gwen." The woman rubs her lips with the back of her hand with a smug grin on her face. "Just had to check your mind y'know? Don't want me go telling you information that you'll give to the king."

"Couldn't you take my word for it?" Gwen spits back, shame making her face red with an unhealthy tinge. Tarnished. Tarnished. Tarnished.

"Oh no! People around here would do anything to know that I am looking for them. Besides, stop with the questions. I know you're Guinevere now because your head is full with my mistress Morgana."

If possible, Gwen's heart stops and her stomach is doing belly flops like crazy. _"Morgana?"_

"Oh yes…I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Oh well!" The woman chirps, taking Gwen's hand and shoving something into her palm that feels like a crumbled up piece of paper. "Don't open that until after our performance tonight by the way, or nothing will work and you'll be having nightmares again."

Gwen glanced up at this woman, her expression sceptical. "Nightmares? How on earth do you know about my nightmares? How on earth do you know anything about me at all?"

"Oh no! I'm doing _terrible_! I'm not supposed to be saying any of this stuff! Oh dear, oh dear! Well, gotta go! My performance is coming up and I'm pretty sure you won't want to miss it." And with that, the woman skipped away with a cheerful grin on her face, stunning Gwen into silence at such a quick, abrupt meeting and then…poof! The woman had simply vanished into the main hall's walls, startling Gwen into scepticism.

'_I hope to god that woman doesn't think I'm done with her.'_ Gwen thought sulkily, pressing herself through the gap that the woman had made to get to the main hall, the hall now bustling with life and clapping that signalled the first performance over.

Nobody had seemed to notice her presence missing and Gwen was hardly surprised due to the massive amount of bards that were performing and even some of them having the nerve to talk to Arthur with silly, drunken grins on their faces which would just make Merlin jealous and Arthur smug at Merlin being jealous.

That woman however was no where to be seen and this just aggravated Gwen even more. _How dare she? How dare _she do such a thing to her only to find out if she was Guinevere or not. How come she had to kiss her when Gwen had been longing for someone else's lips for far too long for some stranger to kiss them instead.

Music was starting to play softly as Gwen made her way up to be by Merlin's side for the rest of the night, it was too late to go looking for that bard woman now without making the whole show go up in flames so she had no choice but to try and enjoy the celebrations as best as she could.

The scrunched up piece of paper was still in her hand, reminding Gwen of the bard's words with fiery anger and curiosity. Mistress Morgana? This bard was from Morgana? This…note perhaps?

"Hey Gwen! Snap out of it yeah?" Merlin clicked his fingers in front of her eyes, making Gwen scowl up at him for interrupting her thoughts. "A female bard is about to sing and you're going all gooey-eyed."

"Right…" Gwen glared up at the stage where the female bard sat with a harp, her fists clenching and unclenching around the thin piece of paper.

"Tis an honour to be with you all tonight." The female bard stood up, her blonde hair dangling so low that it reached her knees when she bowed. "Especially you…King Arthur." She finished her sentence with a saucy wink, unknowingly making almost every man there turn red at the flirtatious gesture.

'_Ugh…This was worse when I was serving Lady Vivian.'_ Gwen thought with exaggerated distaste, her facial expressions obviously showing seeming as Merlin let out a little laugh once he clasped eyes on her.

"And what will you be singing for us, bard?" Tristan spoke out with coldness, obviously not happy to be cast aside and for Arthur to be instead put in his place as King of Camelot.

"Tis an old song my good friend…A very old one." The blonde bard then looked around the room, her eyes only stopping at Gwen's with such humour in those hues that they sparkled impishly. "Tis Morgana's Lullaby…Tis to keep the nightmares away."

Gwen could feel Merlin's gaze on her but she could not register it properly to actually look at her friend…Her heart was beating too fast to do _that_ and her head felt like it was spinning and, and…

She grasped Merlin's arms tight, her eyes wide and unblinking at the feel of not just Merlin's gaze but Arthur's, Gaius's and Sir Leon's as well…

"_Morgana? Wasn't she the King's ward before betraying the king?"_ Whispers. Whispers that are quiet yet loud. Whispers.

"_That witch? No, surely not. There must be other Morgana's around where the bards are. Morgana's Lullaby? To keep the nightmares away? What a joke!"_

Her breath is hitched and Gwen can feel the world around her start to spin…Morgana's Lullaby? Was this some sort of sick joke? But of course it couldn't be, Morgana…Morgana. She always dreamed about Morgana. Morgause would be there too in the end in the form of some sort of animal, dragging Morgana away to a place either to small or too tall…Somewhere where Gwen could not reach even if she tried to.

"_Tis for you Guinevere!"_ Were the words that resounded in Gwen's head, not that the words left the female bard's mouth but as if she was using _magic_ to communicate with her.

"M-Merlin did you-" Gwen started but before she could finish her sentence, Merlin nodded.

"Yeah…I heard it too." Merlin glanced at the bard warily, his hands twisting and yanking his tunic nervously.

The musical rhythm of the harp began to play, sounding sweet and strong just like Morgana's voice yet loud and clear like Morgana's determination and just the sound of the Lullaby was starting to make Gwen feel more alive than she had been a few moments ago.

Minutes passed by and the female bard did not open her mouth, minutes and minutes until Gwen was sure that people were starting to wonder where Morgana's Lullaby actually was.

And then it happened, the blonde opened her mouth and out sang Morgana's voice that made Gwen's mind picture of flowers, rivers, streams and then laughter and joy that was Morgana's voice when Gwen had first met her mistress.

_Elder your time is come_

_Now I am filled with sorrow_

_Weary eyes need resting_

_Heart has become grey and slow_

_In waking sleep of freedom_

Words were spilled and filled the air with an aura of desire and loss, making heads turn towards the female bard with wonderment and for Gwen it felt as if nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered at all apart from Morgana's voice that was spilling out of this bard's mouth in such a lost, lustful voice that Gwen gripped onto Merlin's arm tighter than before; in fear of collapsing under all this strain.

"Merlin…" Gwen whispered, not knowing what to think or say. Morgana did this for her? But how in god's name would Morgana know anything about her nightmares? She hadn't seen Morgana for about two months now and was most likely not going to see her ever again…But a lullaby? For her?

_We sing, rejoice_

_We tell the tales_

_We laugh and cry_

_We love one more day_

The bard ended almost immediately after the last verse, a coy smile on her features and her blonde hair swept over one of her shoulders as she bowed once again.

Gwen breathed heavily, her eyes never leaving the female bards, never leaving the light that shone it's beam towards where Morgana lay, never leaving the sight of the female bard who sang Morgana's words as her own.

"Seize her!" Tristan yelled, breaking Gwen's enchantment with Morgana's voice that still ran through her ears as clear as day.

"_Blast it!_ I knew that was going to happen! I told her it wouldn't work but did she listen to good old Alice? No!" The female bard yells, stomping her foot like a child before throwing something to the ground which then explodes upwards into a cloud of thick smoke.

When the smoke vanishes, 'Alice' is gone and all is left are confused-looking bards who are staring at the King nervously.

With a roar, Tristan stands up from his throne with his face a ugly red colour that could match Merlin's 'embarrassed red' colour quite easily. "Search the city until you find her! Do not return until you find that bard!"

Screams, yells and all Gwen wanted to do was scream with them. Scream and scream until she scream no more because this hurt. It hurt knowing that Morgana had risked someone's life to somehow 'talk' to her. It hurt knowing that Morgana would risk so much…It really, really _hurt_.

Would it seem strange to people if she opened the paper at that moment? Would it? A maidservant who was probably seen with that bard opening a parchment? The bard had said do not open until she got to her room but surely, surely it wouldn't hurt to just look at it?

Opening her right hand up, Gwen stared down at the parchment with sinful curiosity that seemed to echo in her ears - drowning out all the deafening noise of yells, protests and screams.

'_Open me…_'

Gwen crushed the paper in her palm once more.

* * *

Gwen rested her head on her pillow, turning over on her side to look at the harp that appeared beside her bed with a faint smile. It was only a little harp but a harp all the same and it was a rather pleasant gift off Alice. Or so it said on the parchment.

With that information, Gwen had discarded the paper in fear that if anyone decided to come snooping in her house they'd see nothing but the usual, flowers, letters from some of the remaining 'faithful' of her family and just stuff from the castle that she was given to by Morgana, Arthur and Merlin.

_Once this is open Guinevere then the enchantment shall work and you shall never experience another nightmare again. Alice sends the harp as a gift, which is also enchanted by magic._

This message was off someone Gwen was sure she would never see again apart from in her dreams and just after the first paragraph explaining what the note was for along with the harp, there was scribbles and crossing out as if Morgana had got frustrated with what she wrote before writing it over again in anger at herself.

_I know this is much to ask and I do not deserve your time but I wish to request your presence at the Forest of Nehrid. You do not have to go but I would wish for you to do so. It would be nobody else, just you and me Gwen. No Morgause. No Alice. Nobody. Me and you. A month from now I will meet you at the Forest of Nehrid. We can talk properly there._

_\- Morgana_

Gwen thought over Morgana's words carefully as if she was trying to figure out a puzzle, her curly chocolate locks covering her eyes from the view of the harp that rested near her bed.

She hadn't thought of not going. Gwen would have called herself insane if she had because why should she not go see Morgana? She knew the dangers of it being a trap but she also knew that Morgana wouldn't hurt her so why not go? Why fear when Morgana was going to be there? Alone or not.

Gwen sighed softly, she'd think what to do tomorrow because at the moment she had no time or patience to think of such a big subject. Especially if it was involving someone as important as Morgana in it.

Closing her eyes, Gwen embraced the dream world in what she hoped would be a non-nightmare night as Morgana had promised. She did not know if that was true or what it would lead to but what did it matter?

Morgana. She would be seeing Morgana in a month's time from this very day…A month.

A month seemed so long from now…What could Morgana have done in a month's time? Slaughtered people? No, no Gwen had promised herself not to think like that of Morgana because _her_ Morgana was still _there_. Gwen had seen it (the flicker of the old Morgana) in the castle's gardens.

Without a final thought of what was about to come, Gwen succumbed to the weariness that was pricking at her eyes and let herself fall into sleep's warm embrace.

And then out of no where, the harp began to play softly and Morgana's voice once more swallowed the air with its sorrowful tune…And just like the enchantment said…Gwen didn't experience anymore nightmares.

* * *

"I did what you asked mistress." Alice bowed with a sly smirk, taking off the crown she had robbed from Prince Arthur's very own head. It hadn't been easy crafting a new one, but it was sure worth it. "Now where is my reward?"

"Twenty silvers as I promised." Morgana spoke with a rigid smile, pushing the coins into Alice's hands before glancing at a sack that rested in front of her on top of the table where she sat.

"Aye, you're good to me milady. But I need more than that." Alice grinned cheekily, pocketing the money with ease in her satchel. "Seeming as I have experienced an angel's kiss when visiting your darling Guinevere."

At this, Morgana looked directly at her servant. "An angel's kiss? From whom my Alice?"

In response, Alice twirled a blonde lock around her index finger with a sly grin that Morgana wasn't quite sure she approved of. "O, when I tell you my perfect mistress you shall die from jealousy and envy."

"Do not spare me then." Morgana pried with a luscious smirk that just made Alice even more smug because of course, that look would be wiped off her mistress's face once she knew whom she was speaking of.

Alice danced around to where Morgana sat, her eyes sparkling with pure humour. "O mistress, I can see why you wish for her lips whenever Morgause is not looking." Alice finished this sentence with her thumb tracing Morgana's lower lip. "Now I am sorry to say I wish for them too."

And with that, Alice surged forward to crash her lips into Morgana's with such force that Morgana couldn't help but part her already swollen lips to allow Alice entry to ravage her mouth.

Instead of pulling away like Gwen had done (or so Alice's mind was telling her) Morgana sighed sulkily into her captor's mouth. Alice always did this whenever she wanted to be secretive and just plainly wanted a reason to kiss her, she had gotten used to it but like Gwen she had felt dirty the first time Alice had done that to her.

Once Alice had finally pulled away, Morgana let out a disgusted grimace. "Do you really have to do that all the time? You just want a reason to kiss people!"

In response, Alice chuckled throatily whilst wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Now that's not very nice! I don't see why everyone is complaining about that, it's not as if I'm ugly or anything."

"That's not it Alice it's just the fact that-" Morgana began but was silenced by Alice's hand covering her mouth.

"I'm not sweet, little Guinevere. Tis the reason yes?" Alice smiled dreamily, removing her hand and instead kissing Morgana's cheek with a teasing growl.

"No! Of course not!" Morgana protested in a petulant manner, her eyes scanning Alice's expression with fierce willow hues.

"O, do not worry, Morgause cannot hear me or you for that matter." Alice glanced warily at her mistress for a moment before breaking again into a large smug grin. "Her lips tasted of cherries mistress, I can see why you crave for such an angel."

If Morgana could have kicked herself in the head she would have because at that moment, her face burned brightly in the candlelight that bathed her skin with its orange glow and her eyes hazed over with desire and indeed yearning.

"So…It is true…O mistress, you are a love-sick little girl!" Alice teased once more, sitting next to the sack on the table with her arms crossed. "Love-sick for her angelic little Guinevere…"

"Do not be so ridiculous." Morgana snapped back, her eyes that had held lust flashing in fury.

"O fine, lie to your only friend here mistress. Lie to her blatantly in the face. I am no fool mistress…" Alice's voice had changed dramatically, her teasing tone transforming into one of deep understanding. "But listen to Alice mistress…"

Cupping her mistress's cheek, Alice licked around Morgana's lips with a seductive yet solemn glint in her blue eyes. "Love shall be your downfall…

Releasing her mistress, Alice grabbed the sack off the table and tossed it over her shoulder with a wicked grin. "Nice catch mistress, Morgause shall be pleased at such an innocent little bugger."

Shuddering, Morgana moved her face away from the scene of her servant walking away with swaying hips and a cheeky smirk, feeling repulsion start to wash over her senses.

She was so sure she had heard those words before. So sure but Morgana did not know where.

'_Love shall be your downfall.'_

Yet even if she had managed to keep that repulsion down, Morgana did not think she would be able to get rid of the sickness knowing that she had killed an innocent man who had just wanted a drink and instead got his throat slit open.

Morgause would be pleased but Gwen? Why did Gwen keep mattering to her? Why did Gwen keep appearing whenever Morgana shut her eyes? Why? Morgana had been forced to leave everything of Camelot and the people in it behind however when Morgana finally thought she had, Gwen would appear along with Arthur and even Merlin…

What did it matter? Morgause would be pleased.


	4. Waiting for the Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: Waiting for the Fall  
> ** **TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
> ** **Rating: T - M  
> ** **Chapter Rating: T  
> ** **Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
> ** **Chapter Summary: Gwen and Morgana's plan to meet in the Forest of Nehrid are changed and Merlin has to make a decision that could affect the way everything is in the world.  
> ** **Genre: Angst/Romance  
> Chapter Type: Plot  
> Oh and sorry for the long wait, I've almost finished chapter 5 but me and my sister made a pact that I'd update when SHE updates. :D Oh yeah, I'm evil. But yeah, only for this chapter though. Now that I mention it, any Merlin/Arthur fans, you should seriously consider reading 'The Boys are Back in Town' by my sister. It is rather good actually. :P Well anyway. Enjoy.**

**Title: Waiting for the Fall  
**   
**TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
**   
**Rating: T - M  
**   
**Chapter Rating: T  
**   
**Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
**   
**Chapter Summary: Gwen and Morgana's plan to meet in the Forest of Nehrid are changed and Merlin has to make a decision that could affect the way everything is in the world.  
**   
**Genre: Angst/Romance  
Chapter Type: Plot  
Oh and sorry for the long wait, I've almost finished chapter 5 but me and my sister made a pact that I'd update when SHE updates. :D Oh yeah, I'm evil. But yeah, only for this chapter though. Now that I mention it, any Merlin/Arthur fans, you should seriously consider reading 'The Boys are Back in Town' by my sister. It is rather good actually. :P Well anyway. Enjoy.**

* * *

Gwen fidgeted uncomfortably in the mirror, her hands moving through her dark chocolate locks to try and pat them in the right place so that when seeing Morgana she wouldn't look like a complete mess that Morgana would be glad to forget.

The month that she had endured had been remarkably slow for her; helping Merlin wash Arthur's socks wasn't really the best thing she had done to pass the time but now that the day had arrived for Gwen to travel to the forest of Nehrid, she wished she hadn't received Morgana's note at all.

Did the ribbon in her hair make her look weird? Did it match her green, long-sleeved bodice that did wonderful things to her cleavage? And was the 'showing cleavage' a bit too much? Would that make Morgana think she was only here to see her because she had a slight idea she might get 'lucky' as she had heard many men say to their other pigs of friends?

And the silk yellow scarf that she had managed to buy herself two weeks ago for this very occasion? What of that? Would Morgana read into the silks and fabrics wrong and accuse her of something totally untrue? Or would she be unimpressed that she, Gwen had dressed up so much for something that was probably a trap anyway?

Oh well, at least she didn't look like a living walking corpse anymore thanks to Morgana's lullaby that erased all the nightmares and screams that seemed to torment her mind whenever she closed her eyes. At least they were gone - for good. For now.

Though it didn't hurt to check if she had any unnecessary bags under her eyes did it? Gwen certainly didn't want Morgana to see her in such a state that it would put Gaius to shame at how old and bedraggled she must look due to lack of sleep which she may not experience anymore but still; she wanted to check.

Her hair looked fine now, her eyes didn't have that look that said she had seen so many wounds of battle it had scarred her and the stressed lines that had started to appear on her forehead had now faded away and what was left was what Gwen had seen everyday since she had been working for Morgana when she was only a young girl.

But no, not everything was right. Her neck…Apart from the scarf that really only covered her shoulders and the back of her neck, it seemed bare and that absolutely did not sit well with Gwen and without any further ado; Gwen stood and walked away from her vanity table (if that is what you could call it) to go and search through her drawers for a very special item that she had always worn around her neck until Uther had seen it and told her to remove it instantly.

Gwen knew why and she could understand why Uther had told her to remove it immediately with such rage in his eyes that Gwen had been scared she would be struck down with his sword at such an innocent act of disobedience to Uther. Yet she also knew why she wore it even if people had warned her against wearing such a necklace.

She had only worn it because Morgana had insisted in her haughty little voice (seeming as Gwen had been given said necklace when Morgana was about fourteen and she, thirteen) that if she did not wear it then Morgana would cry all day and night until she complied and of course Gwen instantaneously did so - for she never liked seeing Morgana cry and she hated it even more if she was the reason for her lady's tears.

* * *

'_Please Gwen. I insist that you wear it for being such a lovely friend.' Morgana had smiled warmly, presenting the gold necklace to Gwen with such affection that Gwen did not know what to say at first to Morgana's bizarre offer._

_Once she had gotten her tongue unravelled, Gwen objected the offer as if it was easy as breathing. "Oh milady, I cannot accept such a gift. This is the last thing of your mother's, you always tell me how much you favour this item over your own life…For me to take it seems as if you want me to blemish it with my filthy blacksmith-like fingers."_

_Morgana was horrified at Gwen's words and her jaw was slack as if Gwen had slapped her. "Gwen! What a horrid thing to say about yourself! Your fingers are not filthy! They are clean and moist. The hands of a fair lady such as myself." Morgana finished with a suave smirk._

_Then she pressed the gold necklace into Gwen's palm with such a hopeful grin that Gwen found her fingers clenching tightly around the gold chains that seemed to already be tangled because of her grip._

"_Please. I want you to have it…" Morgana _then_ took Gwen's free hand in one of her own, squeezing it gently. "You're my best friend. Friends give each other gifts right?"_

_At this, Gwen gulped and suddenly her clothes seemed to become too heavy for her and the shoes that she was wearing was so tightly that she feared she would collapse._

"_I have nothing to give you milady. It is hardly fair that you give me such valuable gifts and I give you nothing in return." Gwen gives her mistress a weak smile, turning her gaze away from Morgana, already feeling shame make her face burn a bright red colour._

"_Your presence is enough Gwen." Morgana has got up (the creak of her bed signalling that) and Gwen can feel her mistress stride towards her with such concern that Gwen wishes the ground would swallow her up to save herself from such embarrassment. "Enough to keep me going anyhow…"_

"_Your words are kind milady but please do not -" Gwen was about to say 'lie' but of course she doesn't have the chance to seeming as Morgana always knows what she is about to say and with that knowledge, Morgana intervenes._

"_They are also true words Gwen and just because I wish to rest before going to slaughter Arthur at training I'm just going to say if you do not wear that necklace then I shall cry myself to sleep night and day until you do." Morgana turns away from Gwen before Gwen can even think of a reply, her teenager stubbornness enough to make Gwen accept the token in silence and in appreciation._

* * *

Gwen let her hair fall down over her shoulders, surprised herself at the length it had grown since Morgana's swift departure from Camelot. It wasn't as if she had forgotten to cut it or as if she was not bothered but rather that Gwen herself had wanted it to grow to her waist since she was a little girl and so once she had accomplished that, she was hardly going to cut it.

She had managed to get to the bottom of the drawers where an old box that was fairly big lay right at the bottom where Gwen was sure she had kept the necklace for safe-keeping just in case Uther started to come looking for it.

Even if she was ashamed to admit it, Gwen also kept things of the past in the box and she was even more ashamed to say that most of them had been given to her from Morgana and due to that fact Gwen had thrown that box in her drawers in hope of never laying eyes on such a box ever again.

Evidently she was wrong. And if Gwen was truthful, she probably knew that she had been lying to herself as well.

Hauling the box out of her drawers with great difficulty, Gwen placed said box on her bed before wrenching the lid open with such force that most of the contents spilled out on her bed.

Letters, notes, gifts from years that Gwen wished she could forget, artwork, flowers and so much expensive jewellery that Morgana had wasted on her that when Uther had found out how much jewellery Morgana was having shipped over that he banned Morgana from getting ANYTHING for a whole year - which put her mistress in a fairly bad mood all year but Gwen had also found it a very amusing year if truth be told.

Then Morgana's mother's pendant…Why of course, why hadn't she thought of it before? Morgana's mother's pendant! Maybe that could be the key of getting Morgana back? Maybe this meeting that Morgana had planned and for Gwen worrying like nobody's business was destiny waiting to happen?

'Or maybe I'm being completely ridiculous?' Gwen snapped at herself, placing Morgana's mother's pendant around her neck with such care just in case it decided to break when Gwen put the pendant around her throat.

"Well hi Gwen!" Merlin's yell breaking through her thoughts, Gwen jumped about half a foot up in the air before turning around to scowl at Merlin's form that was getting closer and closer to her. "Oh, you getting ready to go out?"

Then realizing that half of the things Morgana had given to her was laid out on the bed, Gwen gave Merlin a weak smile, turned and proceeded to place everything back in the chest before shoving it back inside its drawer.

"Never mind, you're going out to meet someone aren't you?" Merlin muttered under his breath, watching Gwen's jumpy movements with suspicious eyes.

"Meet someone?" Gwen turned back towards her friend, a large smile plastered on her face. "Of course not! I just felt like going out of Camelot for a while, that's all."

In response, Merlin shook his head and sighed. "You're going to go see Morgana aren't you?"

"Morgana?" Gwen tried to bluff her way out, surely only she knew about what Alice's intentions were at the castle. Of course Merlin might have a faint idea but Alice did not even contact her after she did a runner from Camelot so how on earth could Merlin even begin to know what she was doing? "I haven't seen Morgana for about three months Merlin, I doubt I'll see her again."

Almost immediately after the words left her lips, Merlin pointed an index finger at her with a look on his face that was so mixed with emotions that Gwen could hardly guess what Merlin was going to say.

"And THAT is when I can tell you're lying! You've never given up hope on Morgana! Why start now?" Merlin smugly smiled at the ending of his sentence, his arms starting to cross against his chest.

Gwen sighed. "Yes. I'm going to see Morgana. Right now in fact." And with that, she side-stepped Merlin and started to proceed out of her door to 'borrow' a horse that Arthur wouldn't miss too much.

But Merlin stopped her, grabbing her wrist with such unneeded force that Gwen can't help but wince at such pain shooting up her arm though she knows it is not Merlin's intention to hurt her, it surely does not help the anger that is boiling at the bottom of her stomach.

"What if it's trap?" Merlin gasps out, his eyes shimmering with something that Gwen has not seen in ages. In herself or anyone else. Tears. Fresh tears.

"It won't be. Morgana would never hurt me." Gwen reassures her friend with a slight smile, the pain in her wrist ebbing away and her desire to comfort Merlin becoming even stronger than it had been a few months ago.

"I'm not talking about Morgana." Merlin growls throatily, his eyes thinning into slits and the obvious worry starting to make his forehead sweat. "What about…Morgause?"

Gulping, Gwen instinctively lets a hand travel to the golden pendant that is fastened around her neck. "She'll protect me. I know she will. Morgana is still ali-"

"No Gwen!" Merlin snarls, his hues flickering gold and blue at such a rapid pace that Gwen can't help but try and take a step away from her best friend. "Can't you see that Morgana's been manipulated by Morgause? I too believe she is no killer, but Morgana will bend to Morgause's rules whenever her sister snaps her fingers!"

Gwen wishes she could snarl and growl at Merlin too in Morgana's defence, she wants to yell and shout at him for even thinking that Morgana could be so weak-minded however the problem with that is that she too, believes Morgana will break her if bended the right way. _Manipulated_ the right way.

Still, the answer is simple and right. Maybe not in the eyes of anyone with common sense but to Gwen, it was the right reason why she was going to meet Morgana and nothing in the world would stop her from doing so. Even Morgause.

"Merlin…" Gwen whispered softly, her hand that was free from Merlin's grip beginning to stroke the warlock's hand that was gripping her wrist like his life depended on it in comfort. "I have to do this."

"B-but what if you die?" Merlin spat, the tears that he had been holding back so well starting to spill down his cheeks.

"It'll be worth it." Gwen says truthfully, nodding as she talks to try (in a way) to get Merlin understand with her actions.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Merlin murmured quietly, his free hand wiping away the silver strands of water that had caressed down his cheeks. "Aren't we worth it? Me and Arthur? Don't you think we deserve you to live rather than you to die?"

Without hesitation at the look of another dry sob that was starting to make Merlin's throat ripple, Gwen flung herself at her friend, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

"Oh Merlin…" Gwen felt Merlin's sob vibrate against her own chest, her hands stroking his dark locks fiercely in fear that if she released him from her grip that he would disappear just like Morgana had. "Oh I'm never going to leave you and Arthur. Never."

"Then why?" Merlin whispered into her ear, his lips brushing against her lobe by accident in a way that made Gwen shiver at such fear that was spreading from Merlin's body to her own.

A gushing breath that no doubt heats Merlin's ears up as Gwen presses herself harder against Merlin's embrace, her arms tightening around his neck and her eyes closed to try and block out the sight of Merlin shivering in her arms. "Surely you must know the answer to that."

Merlin nods, making Gwen smile a weak, tender smile that shows how much she cares for her best friend. "Because you love her?"

Before Gwen knows it, tears are starting to blur her vision and her heart is beating painfully in her chest as if it is going to burst. "Yes." She sniffs, trying to clear her vision from the watery tears that just can't leave her alone, the ones she has been keeping back for a month now. "More than anything."

Merlin sighed, shaking his head against Gwen's shoulder at the same time trying not to let his tears dampen Gwen's dress and fine, silk scarf. "Then she is the luckiest woman in the world you know?"

Gwen laughs, nuzzling her nose into the crook of Merlin's neck in an attempt to stop herself from crying even more and to wipe away the salty watery tears that do nothing but make Gwen's eyes ache. "I doubt that very much."

"Well I'd be proud to say you're mine." Merlin retorted back fiercely, his hands that had been wrapped around Gwen's lithe waist tightening. "You know what I mean?"

"And why do you say that?" Gwen asked with a little impish grin, also tightening her grip around Merlin's neck to steady both of her and Merlin's shivers.

"Because you're just Gwen. Sweet, devoted, kind but strong-willed and you always seem to know what to say too." Merlin began, taking a deep breath before letting out another spurt of words. "Arthur couldn't be the person he is today without your help and I probably wouldn't still be alive without you either and-"

"Shush now!" Gwen pressed a finger to Merlin's lips, her cheeks red with embarrassment and her arms (now unravelled from Merlin's neck) was clutching her sides whilst her head was bent down to glance at her shoes. "Please…All this talk is making me feel awkward."

"Why? Because it's true and you know that it is?" Merlin responded to Gwen's plea venomously, wishing that the anger that was bubbling in the pit of his stomach would go away. He wasn't angry at Gwen. He really, really wasn't angry at Gwen. Yet the rage that was still inside of him threatening to rip him apart and all Merlin could do was pour all his anger onto the individual closest to him.

"No! Because-!" Gwen turns her face away in shame, her hands tugging anxiously at her clothing. "Because I'm not used to people saying that to me…That's all. It isn't such a thing that I am accustomed too."

Merlin didn't say anything more on the subject and instead just wondered if Morgana ever thought of Gwen like that. Probably.

"Well…I must go Merlin." Gwen smiled, giving her friend a chaste peck on the cheek before wrapping her arms around him in a small hug. "I'll be back, don't worry. I would never leave you to face Arthur's socks alone. That'd be barbaric!"

Laughing, Merlin let go of his friend and finally glanced at Gwen's garments properly with a look that said he didn't quite approve of what she was wearing at all which in turn made Gwen pause in fear that she looked like she had just been dragged through a bush.

"The Forest of Nehrid is full of bandits Gwen, you sure you want to dress up like that?" Merlin asked her, his hues full of concern. If Gwen got robbed then it would not only dampen his mood but also put Gwen on edge once again and his friend had only just got used to the fact that Morgana would not be waiting to see her everyday, so for Gwen to get robbed…It'd be a terrible thing.

And he didn't think Morgana would be very happy with him for some reason either.

"Good point."

* * *

On his way back up to the castle (about an hour after watching Gwen leave Camelot's gates) Merlin was stopped by Arthur who by the looks of it had only just finished training with his knights.

"Merlin! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Arthur clapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder, a grin on his sweaty face. "Gather my horse! We're going hunting!"

At this, Merlin's heart stopped and the smirk that his face bore faded away almost as quickly as it had come. "…What?"

In response, Arthur frowned and clipped his manservant over the head. "Why have I got a feeling you've been drinking again? Stop being an idiot Merlin and go fetch my horse."

"I'm not drunk!" Merlin protested, feeling the back of his head for a bruise that was sure to be there in the morning. "I-I…Don't you think that it's a bit late to go hunting?"

"And watch the gruelling performance of Tristan converse with old men? Ah, tempting Merlin but I would rather go hunt deer." Arthur said with a cocky smirk, ruffling his man servant's hair before clapping him on the shoulder once more. "Now what about that horse?"

Despite the situation of Arthur being nice to him, Merlin couldn't return his master's smile and instead just turned to the stables. What could he do? Of course he could somehow let all the horses escape but if Tristan ever got a wind of it then Merlin himself might as well go find Morgana.

"Oh and make sure you get my sword whilst you're at it Merlin! We've had some news about bandits that are nearing Camelot!"

"Yes sire." Merlin whispered quietly, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Gwen hadn't managed to get a horse so instead Merlin had allowed her to use a dizzied old mule that was better in the wilderness than the bustling streets of Camelot but if Gwen didn't know any better, she suspected that Merlin had just wanted rid of the old thing.

What Merlin had said had been indeed true. For her to go in anything else apart from a dirty old tunic, trousers and a red cloak would have made her look rather vulnerable and easy prey for bandits that were probably roaming through Camelot yet hiding her face from the world with her cloak wasn't exactly the most non-suspicious thing in the world either.

Though she hoped that the sword with her was enough to scare thieves off because she _couldn't_ survive a whole ambush on her without some back up sooner or later. That and the mule that was carrying her to the Forest of Nehrid wouldn't last a second if she tried to make it go faster.

Gwen had just made it outside of the Camelot borders and was heading towards the outskirts of a forest when she heard howls, yelps and yelling. All in different directions than the last and loud enough for Gwen to startle and to make her blood turn to ice at such blood-curdling sounds.

But what did it matter? She had already told herself that no matter what she would go and meet Morgana at the Forest of Nehrid so that was what Gwen knew she had to do, no matter the consequences and what those consequences could be could end her existence.

The outskirts of Camelot were dangerous yes, Gwen knew that however she also knew that if she wanted to bring Morgana back then this was the only chance she'd have without anyone else getting in the way of them having a proper conversation with each other.

Their conversation at the funeral had been hurried and full of awkward tension (along with confusion) that had made Gwen want to curl up into a corner and cry which wouldn't be a surprise to the people who normally found her crying but what else could she have done? Gone after Morgana? Stumble around blindly like a fool that she had already been made out to be?

Another scream and then laughter. Gwen shuddered.

She just really wished she had a horse.

* * *

"Ah, you are a fine liar my mistress." Alice grinned at Morgana, her blue eyes sparkling impishly. "Did you not say I was not to accompany you?"

Morgana glared at her servant angrily, her hand reaching for the magical sword that was strapped to her waist in its sheath. "If I did not need your help, I would kill you where you stand my sweet Alice."

Alice just laughed mischievously. "Oh I do not doubt that. But in time you will begin to trust your sweet, little Alice and you shall be grateful that I am Morgause's pet as you are."

Morgana sighed sulkily, removing her hand away from the sword and instead tightened the leather that held her cloak together in hope that it would stop her from strangling her servant to death.

"O, nothing to say to that mistress? Have you finally seen the light?" Alice teased, dancing in front of her mistress with her hands flying around her light blue cloak to pull the hood over her blonde head. "Or has Morgause's pet recoiled at such truthful words?"

"I am not a pet of Morgause!" Morgana growled throatily, her willow eyes flickering a gold colour which explained why Alice suddenly found herself face flat on the dirt beneath their feet.

"She is my sister and I follow her freely. She freed me from Camelot and everything that destroyed me along with it. I am entirely grateful." Morgana spoke hoarsely, grabbing Alice by her arm to lift her servant up by her side. "I was the one who made this decision. Not Morgause."

"Ah…Your lies are starting to hurt my ears mistress." Alice commented with a dreamy smirk, making Morgana turn red in the face at such an accusation. "You hear nothing but lies from Morgause and you know this. You think you are scared my mistress of admitting the truth of missing Camelot? Morgause is even more frightened."

"You speak of nothing but lies yourself Alice." Morgana spoke back bitterly with a wry smile. "You are a bard after all."

Alice did not speak for a moment, instead choosing to kick away (in distaste) a bone that lay scattered across the dirt road in front of them. "Ugh. Terrible. Nobody cleans up around here anymore. Tis disgusting. And you say that Camelot is a wonder, bah!"

Morgana rolled her eyes, wrapping the fabric of her emerald cloak around her even tighter than before. "We aren't in Camelot yet my dear Alice. We're just nearing the outskirts, we still have steps to go before we reach even that."

"Then why in god's name do we walk to this Camelot?" Alice pouted, removing a blonde lock away from her eyes. "Tis most tiring."

"Then why bother to come?" Morgana asked her servant in genuine curiosity. It was not like Alice to complain, even if they had been walking for well over four hours without stopping.

Morgana's curiosity instantly vanished at the quirk of Alice's lips. "Oh but of course, to see the beautiful Guinevere and to touch her full, angel-kissed lips."

Unknowing even to herself, Morgana's face had reddened and her lips had pursed as if she was afraid of talking but before Alice could comment on this look, Morgana had spoken.

"Your riley wit does not vex me Alice, your plan has failed." Morgana spoke calmly, pleased at herself that she had not thrown Alice to the other side of the nameless forest that they had been wandering for a while now.

"Ah? Was it meant to vex? Forgive me I did not know this." Alice smiled, stepping so far out of Morgana's reach that Morgana herself wished she had a dagger so that she would be able to at least poke Alice with until the bard succumbed to her desires to shut up.

Mouth parted slightly, Morgana watched her servant go with cold eyes. "It does not matter, you shall not be speaking to Gwen anyways. I command you to stay put when we find her and if you do not Alice then I shall kill you."

Alice stopped for a moment to glance back over her shoulder, the twinkle in her eye never leaving for a second. "Ah mistress, of course I shall do what you command. You are ever kind to me."

Alice then moves her hands through her hair, her eyes closing as she does so almost as if she is in pure bliss. "You have not answered my question however mistress, why walk to this damned Camelot when you told our Guinevere to meet us at the Forest of Nehrid?"

Shaking her head, Morgana glanced down the long, stumpy hill where the road that led directly to Camelot lay with a apprehensive pout on her face like the road had insulted her by just being there.

"Bandits. Gwen is going alone to Forest of Nehrid while they are going to Camelot from the Forest of Nehrid." Morgana explained quietly to her servant, arching a dark brow at how quiet the roads were. "It's dangerous for Gwen to travel alone. I do not want her to come to any harm for my benefit."

Quiet. The roads were too quiet. The bandits were on the move towards the Camelot outskirts where Gwen most likely was.

"We have to move faster." Morgana commanded to Alice quickly as she raced past, speeding up her walking pace with difficulty. Four hours non-stop walking can make you legs ache a little.

"Oh my mistress, this Gwen of yours is a very lucky girl to get you worried!" Alice called after her mistress, jogging to keep up. "It just shows that you do have a very soft side to you!"

"This is no time for banter Alice!" Morgana quipped back, feeling the adrenaline that was pumping through her veins start to make her move faster. "Equip your bow and let us be done with all this running!"

"Ah! But there is never time for banter!" Alice cried back to her mistress, soaring past Morgana to race forwards just in case any enemy was there waiting for them. Rather her death than Morgana's.

"Alice I do not care for this! If you see Gwen in trouble then you shoot these bandits no matter your connections! Do you understand!" Morgana cried out after Alice, wishing that she could just fly so it wouldn't hurt her legs so much.

Unfortunately, even if she felt stronger since she had killed the innocent like Morgause had promised she still hadn't been granted the wish (the dream) of being able to fly. Shame really.

"Ah, yes my love-sick mistress!" Alice curtseyed playfully for a moment, turning around to do so before speeding off again.

"And Alice-!" Morgana yelled, feeling the heavy metal of her sword start to whack against her thigh.

"Aha?" Alice did not turn back around this time and instead started to ready her bow whilst running.

"Please shut _up!_" Morgana growled, glad that by the marks on the trees that they were now in the outskirts of Camelot. "I am no love-sick fool!"

"Ah I see now! You are just a love-sick fool for Guin-" Alice didn't finish her sentence, stopping halfway through crossing over a gigantic tree that had fallen over due to the treacherous storms. "Ah…You were right my mistress. They _ARE _after Guinevere!"

"Well I would never guess!" Morgana responded with a quirky retort, lifting herself up on the log where Alice stood to see that Gwen was surrounded by a group of bandits that were pressing her up to the hill where Alice and her stood.

Jumping down, Morgana dug her shoes into the ground underneath her to stop herself from falling down the hill in such a dramatic failure that the bandits would probably only leave Gwen alone to laugh at such an entrance.

She skidded down to where Gwen stood, her hands outstretched and the familiar warmth coursing through her body like water starting to bring its warmth across her neck and forehead.

This was also the signal for Alice to fire an arrow to distract Gwen and the bandits, giving Morgana enough time to either knock them out or kill them if they tried to persist. Sure she had told Alice to shoot them but her servant knew what she had meant, she always said such things when she was worried. About certain things.

Alice knew the signal off by heart and Morgana was almost smug when the arrow just pierced a bandit's shoulder, making the git (and his followers) to look up in surprise at her towering down on them.

Lifting her right hand up to face the stunned bandits, Morgana couldn't help but let a quick smirk take over her features.

"_Vaita le atani o le meli!" _Morgana yelled, her eyes flashing gold while the warmth that had spread all over her hand dispersed almost instantlyafter she had spoken those words.

At first the bandits tried to push past Gwen to get to her, their anger clouding them from the vines and roots of the trees that were gripping at their ankles and started to slide and crawl up their legs and chests but of course, when realization finally settled in it was far too late and all the bandits could do was yell and scream at her in protest.

But Morgana had no reason to listen, for all she could see was Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen…Gwen who was looking at the bandits in surprise, her velvety chocolate eyes settling on Morgana for a second before flickering around to search their surroundings just in case anyone or anything else interrupted them.

No time. Morgana had no time. No time at all to play games, no time at all to rush to Gwen like her body was aching to do. Instead she had to dance around the situation, to dance and sing around it. Like she had done so many times before.

"Aha Gentlemen!" Morgana moved up behind Gwen, firm fingers gripping onto Gwen's neck and pulling the brunette into her so that her breasts were pressed up against Gwen's strange, tensed back. "It seems like you have caught this little bug for me haven't you?"

One bandit (the leader perhaps?) scowled angrily at her, wriggling his body against the vines that encased almost all of his body apart from his head. "Then release us! You have caught your pretty girl, now free us from this sorcery!"

"Ah, but what if you attack me and I have no time to use magic against you? What then feeble bandit?" Morgana cannot help herself. It has been far too long since she had any fun like this. That and with Alice chatting like she had just stepped out of a fairly-old book, Morgana can't help but use Alice's banter as her own.

"Please just let us go! We won't tell any knowledge about you to the King of Camelot! We swear!" Another bandit cried out, tears sparkling down his face as if Morgana had told him she was going to dress him up in a frock and do the can-can.

Morgana tightened her grip around Gwen's neck, slightly enjoying the fact that Gwen seemed to whimper helplessly at the change of grip.

"No, I've changed my mind…" Morgana smiled cunningly, tracing Gwen's cheek with her free hand. "Instead of killing you, I'll just leave it to the wolves. Farewell."

Releasing Gwen's neck and instead latching her hand onto Gwen's hand, Morgana proceeded to drag Gwen further up the road and then into the wilderness where they would be hidden from view by the bandits and Alice.

Bushes pulled out both of their cloaks, making their walk strained and slow which just caused more aggravation and frustration for both of them.

Few minutes passed and it still felt like forever to Morgana. Gwen did not speak and neither did she in fear that it would make Gwen snap, pull out a sword and run her through.

"Thank you."

Morgana stopped - making Gwen bump into her back - then turned to see that Gwen was smiling sadly at her in a way that made Morgana's heart yearn.

"For what?" Morgana whispered breathlessly, wishing that she could fall into Gwen's arms without consequence yet wishing that she had Morgause right next to her to make sure she didn't fall into the enemy's arms.

"For the lullaby." Gwen responded with a quirk of an eyebrow, her hands trembling minutely as if she too is afraid of the fall. "It was most sufficient…"

"Ah." Morgana nodded, surprised that no red has come to her cheeks and her voice is steady and calm whilst her insides are juggling and pushing themselves together inside of her due to the anxiety. "I'm glad then."

"It was…thoughtful." Gwen stammers, her frustration at herself growing larger and larger. Damn it. Why can't she keep her voice calm when all she wanted to do was talk? It wasn't as if she was confessing anything. Or maybe she was without realizing it just yet? "Despite…The bard."

At this both of their lips twitched into familiar smiles that held so much past but hardly any future.

"Ah, Alice…" Morgana shook her head, her laughter making her body shake uncontrollably. "Forgive her, I did not know she would do that to you."

With a blush, Gwen turned her gaze away from Morgana's to hide the fading smile that couldn't stay on her face for long without diminishing immediately afterwards.

"She made me feel…Tarnished. Dirty even. Like a ill-mannered whore." Gwen explains bluntly, her cheeks reddening by the second and this time Gwen really does feel like she's confessed something.

'_Me too_.' Morgana wants to confess, wants to feel soft liquid rush down her face as she falls, falls and falls into Gwen's embrace but of course, Morgause clouds her mind and her defences are hardened. No. This wasn't what she could have. What she should not have. This was…Goodbye.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'll…Give her a friendly warning." Morgana finishes with a smile, not wanting to look at Gwen's own smile in return, not feeling worthy of the brightness of said smile.

Gwen's smile is still there when Morgana closes her eyes and opens them again, her dark skin flushed and her breathing is shaky almost as though Gwen is fighting to breathe.

"I…" Gwen starts but falters, her chocolate hues glazed over with absolute fear that Morgana sees Gwen's arm shivering in restrain. Tension.

"I came here to say goodbye to the past Guinevere." Morgana cuts over Gwen's shivering and fear, feeling like she wants to throw herself underneath a horse so that she wouldn't have to see the pain flickering through Gwen's eyes like rain whipping against the glass of windows. "What's left of it."

"The past?" Gwen whispers, looking more startled than she had been when Morgana had clutched her neck like a predator playing with its prey. "I thought that you wanted to talk…"

"I do, about leaving the past behind. Dead and buried." Morgana cocked her head to the side, a lock of her dark hair dangling in her eyes. "Where it should be."

"Then we have not come to talk about the same thing." Gwen spoke oddly calm, her voice soft and quiet but the tone of vehemence would just not seem to leave her, would not seem to change. "You said you would explain…Everything."

"What is there to explain when the answer is clear?" Morgana commented with a shrill laugh, curling a dark lock around her finger. "I walked away from Camelot freely."

"Liar." Gwen retorted back almost instantly, her brow pulled together in anger at the woman in front of her. "Morgause took you against your will! Merlin told me."

"Oh!" At this, Morgana arched both of her eyebrows in sarcastic surprise. "And did he also tell you that he was the one who poisoned me and I would had died if it was not for Morgause"

Gwen tried not to smile bitterly but she failed dramatically at Morgana's words. "Yes he did mention that. For the first year of your absent he thought he was the one that sent you away but he was wrong Morgana. It wasn't him who made Morgause take you away and you know that."

In response, Morgana let out a chuckle that didn't even begin to sound like the chuckle Gwen had heard from her old mistress. The sweet, strong, carefree chuckle that held no worries. "No you're right. It wasn't Merlin's fault. Still, he is a fool to think that it could be his fault in the first place."

Despite everything that Morgana was saying, despite the fact that she was speaking about Merlin in such a way…Gwen couldn't help but stare in awe at the incredible things moonlight did to Morgana's already perfect features. And nothing made Gwen want to collapse so brilliantly, so leisurely in Morgana's arms. Nothing.

Noticing that Gwen is indeed staring at her in pure awe, Morgana clears her throat and continues on what she was going to say. "However it would have helped quite a bit if he didn't poison me. Maybe I would have been more obliged to return back to Camelot."

Almost as if she has suddenly been stabbed by Arthur's sword right through her stomach, Gwen breaks the gaze away from Morgana's face and her features immediately harden. "Don't you dare! Don't you _dare _Morgana!"

Morgana gasped mockingly, her bright willow eyes flickering gold for a moment before returning to its natural colour. "Oh my adorable little Guinevere…What do I dare?"

"How dare you? How dare you blatantly say it isn't Merlin's fault and then change your views in a heart beat! It is your own fault that you did not come back to Camelot!" Gwen yells angrily, her heart thumping and the love for Morgana that is so pure and strong bursting through its seams in a wild passionate flurry. "We must have meant _nothing_ to you! _Nothing!_"

Gwen is more than a little shocked to see that Morgana's eyes have widened and are suddenly becoming watery, the look of an innocent child shining brightly from her beautiful features that makes Gwen want to lean inwards to press her cheek against Morgana's lips.

"That…-" Morgana's hands suddenly wrap around her throat as if what she is about to say will surely be the reason why she chokes, why she is acting in such a way. "That's not true at all…-"

"Isn't it?" Gwen had no idea why she was being so hard on Morgana. Why was she? Was it because all these years of nothing had made her act like this in front of Morgana? Or was it because Gwen was just _sick_ of it? Of it all?

"_Stop it_!" Morgana screams suddenly, her eyes wide and alert and her fingers are suddenly in her hair, tugging and pulling as if a demon had possessed her. "Can't you see that you've got to stop it Gwen? Stop it."

Gwen has suddenly moved forward so that she is just a breath away from her old friend, her hands that were already reaching forward for Morgana stopping just when she was about to touch Morgana's cheeks. Anger at her mistress long forgotten and faded.

"Stop _what?_" Gwen whispers, tears starting to prick at the corner of her eyes at such overwhelming pain that is tearing through Morgana's willow orbs. "I swear I'll stop, but what do I stop?"

Morgana's hands move out from her hair and instead latches onto her hips, nails digging into her cloak and her legs are clenched together in an attempt to keep her up straight.

And then the hurt, anguish and pain in Morgana's eyes leave and is replaced with a hollow center.

"Ugh…That was…Unattractive." Morgana muttered her words out in disgust, shaking her head from left to right to get her hair back to its usual style. "Extremely unattractive actually."

Cocking her head to the side, Gwen tried not to shake Morgana and demand answers to her questions but of course…That was impossibly easy. She already knew these answers and Gwen hated the answers so much that she did not wish for Morgana to answer her unasked question.

Gwen can feel Morgana's breathing start to become more spaced out, can feel it on her face and with trembling fingers, Gwen slowly starts to inch her hand upward to Morgana's forehead.

"Steady." Gwen hears Morgana warn, imagining Morgana's watery willow eyes glossy with apprehensive tears. "Don't."

Of course. _Boundaries_. A place where Gwen couldn't go. A place where Gwen was not allowed to go.

A place Gwen was breaking through.

"No." Gwen whispers with a voice full of venom, her cold fingers tracing Morgana's forehead as if she was caressing flowers instead of skin. "Your head…"

"Is on fire." Morgana whispers, the boundaries broken and her mind reeling in response. "And it just _won't_ stop. And I just _can't_ stop."

Gwen cups Morgana's cheek in her free hand, gripping tightly so that Morgana wouldn't leave her gaze and without hesitation Gwen presses a soft kiss to Morgana's lips.

"Shh…" Gwen coos against Morgana's lips, wishing that her tongue wouldn't snake around her mouth in frantic urgency. No. This kiss was strictly platonic. Comforting. "By gods I…"

Dropping the hand that was feeling Morgana's burning forehead, Gwen lets her fingers travel down Morgana's arm until she gets to her covered wrist; her digits feeling the details of a golden bracelet that Gwen remembers well from the story Morgana had told her.

Morgause…God damn her. Damn her for everything. And Gwen was not one to damn anyone.

Morgana hissed at the touch, returning the soft kiss that Gwen had placed on her lips with equally strict platonically. "You just broke the wall Guinevere…"

If Gwen had her way, she would have probably broke the dam as well…Never mind the wall.

And what was stopping her exactly?

Without hesitation, a second thought, Gwen gripped the bracelet that clung to Morgana's wrist and stripped it from her skin by tossing it further and further into the road.

A gasp and Morgana was stripped from the burning. A gasp and Morgana was embraced with a warm arm around her neck and another around her waist.

"It stopped." Morgana says almost immediately after, her body tensed against Gwen's subtle, softer one. "The fire…"

"Yes." Gwen nods against Morgana's shoulder, clenching her hand into a fist against the back of Morgana's hand. Afraid of the fall. "It's gone. You're free."

"No." Morgana answers back with a growl, her arms wrapping around Gwen in such a way that Gwen feels that Morgana would never let her go even if the world was ending around them.

"Don't leave me." Gwen whimpers tenderly, feeling Morgana relax into her properly at her words. "Don't go. Please."

"I have to." Morgana speaks in a uncharacteristic monotone, her willow hues are starting to blur and she has to blink to get rid of the overcoming tears. For Gwen to see her cry is failure. And failure is never the option. "Morgause needs me."

"More than I do?" Gwen sobs dryly, feeling everything within her start to pour out into the open. "What does she have that overpowers my want for you?"

What makes Gwen sob even more is the fact that she hears Morgana sniff as if she too is trying to restrain a sob.

"Overpowers? Nothing. Oh nothing at all." Morgana whispers softly into Gwen's ear, her cheek catching the stray tears that are running down Gwen's face. She knows that what she is saying is the truth but of course, Gwen has the right not to believe her.

"So what is it _milady?_" Gwen sneers, hardly able to believe that she's sneering at Morgana of all people. "Is it the fact that I and the rest of Camelot became too much for you? You wish to rid of us slowly and painfully?"

"Don't say that Gwen. _Please_ don't say that." Morgana pleads, her body sinking further into Gwen's soft curves and stomach. Desperate for the fall.

"Then what am I supposed to say? _What am I supposed to do to make you see me_?" Gwen yells into Morgana's shoulder, her grip tightening and her body shaking hysterically in agony.

And Gwen _doesn't give a damn _if Morgana is shivering and trembling as much as she is. She doesn't give a _damn_.

"This is why…" Morgana says softly, hiccupping slightly and her breathing is unsteady and frail. "This is what happens Gwen. This is what always happens. You don't deserve this."

"Is that so?" Gwen scoffed. "Well aren't you an arrogant one for choosing what I deserve. Where would I be without _you_?"

And before Morgana can say anything more, an arrow pierces her shoulder and drags her away from Gwen and into the ground underneath Gwen's feet.

It would have stung more if Gwen hadn't seen Morgana sprawled on the ground under her with an arrow stuck in her shoulder, making Morgana snarl angrily in rage and pain.

"Arthur! What are you doing?" Gwen heard Merlin protest and to her horror, when she looks back she sees the knights of Camelot riding swiftly towards her and Morgana with swords ready.

"No!" Gwen yells at one knight which she recognises to be Sir Leon, fire in her eyes and already racing towards Morgana's body to kneel down next to her.

"Arthur!" Merlin shouts again and Gwen can hear the desperate plea in his voice which makes her cover Morgana's body with her own in protection against the oncoming knights on horseback. "Arthur! Don't!"

Gwen feels her whole body stiffen against Morgana's, head on Morgana's chest, feeling the heart beat that is so strong and beating so rapidly that Gwen can't help but clench the fine material of Morgana's cloak.

"Gwen…It's alright." Morgana speaks quietly, the arrow in her shoulder clearly hurting her due to the soft and hushed tone that she is using. "I'll be alright…"

"Be quiet you _stupid _woman." Gwen retorts, a slight burst of anger escaping her lips and into Morgana's chest where the woman under her stays silent and instead lets out a sigh.

The horses have stopped and footsteps are getting closer, closer, closer and closer until Gwen feels a hand on her shoulder that she shrugs off with ease.

"Gwen." Arthur. Arthur. Arthur. And without hesitation, Gwen gets off Morgana's body to see that Morgana has gone an unhealthy pale and her eyes can't seem to leave her own.

"Men." Arthur instructs with a tilt of his head towards Morgana's still body, grabbing Gwen's arm and dragging her away from the scene with such force that Gwen almost stumbled into Merlin's waiting arms.

"What on earth were you thinking?" Arthur whispered in her ear as he set her on Merlin's horse, his brow furrowed in anger. "Do you have any idea what might have happened if we hadn't got here in time?"

"You can clearly see what would have happened!" Gwen spat back, hardly believing the venomous tone she has taken on. Most likely frustration at Arthur for interrupting their conversation and allowing Morgana to be hurt. "She wasn't going to hurt me!"

Arthur didn't reply straight away and instead saddled his own horse before glaring at her in anger that had been fuelled with worry. "Don't you think that we've already lost enough? It was too much of a chance to take."

"You said you wouldn't hurt her!" Gwen protested, watching Sir Leon throw Morgana's helpless body over his shoulders with such force that she heard Morgana whimper and snarl something that sounded like 'idiotic fool' under her breath..

Arthur glanced in Sir Leon's direction, a blonde brow raised. "Gentle with her! She is not a servant girl that you men toss around for fun!"

"Is that all you can say? Why did you have to shoot her with an arrow? What did she do wrong!" Gwen knows that she shouldn't put this argument any further than it already has been put, but she can't help it. Arthur had promised and Arthur had lied.

"What would you want me to do? Tie her up in flowers and let her make her own way home to Morgause?" Arthur growled, glaring at some of the knights that were listening in on their conversation.

"She wouldn't go back to Morgause!" Gwen argues back, her chocolate locks everywhere and her eyes are ablaze.

"And how would you know this Guinevere?" Arthur's eyes are also fiery and tremendously terrifying and his form that is stiff makes Gwen want to cower at such a stance.

"Because I trust her." Gwen says, nodding slightly at the limp form of Morgana's which is being tied up like a rag doll with strings and bandages. "I trust her with everything I own."

Arthur growls, pinching the bridge of his nose in pure aggravation. "With your life even?"

"Yes. Especially my life." Gwen said coolly with a nod, making Arthur once more growl at her - most likely in frustration. And this was what made Gwen snap. Why couldn't Arthur say what he meant to her? What he meant about Morgana?

"Stop acting like Uther and say what you really mean!" Gwen retorted viciously, her teeth clenched and once the words had left her mouth, she wished they hadn't.

Because even if Arthur is not exactly telling the whole truth, Gwen knows that Uther is a bad topic to be talking about.

"I-I'm sorry Arthur I didn't-"

Arthur turned his back on her, his face dark and his body stiff. "Seat her next to Guinevere." He beckons to his men with a hand and before anyone can say anything else to him. Arthur starts to ride back to Camelot.

And as Morgana is draped over Gwen so that her chin is just on her shoulder, Gwen wishes that she had the guts to yell her love for her friend out to Arthur in the words that is woven into an apology.


	5. Morgana's Sentence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: Morgana's Sentence  
> **TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
> **Rating: T - M  
> **Chapter Rating:  
> **Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
> **Chapter Summary: Morgana returns to Camelot to face her sentence against all the crimes that she has done and Gwen is more than horrified at the results. What happened to Morgana is known…But what about Arthur and Merlin?  
> **Genre: Angst/Romance  
> Chapter Type: Plot **************

**Title: Morgana's Sentence  
**TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
**Rating: T - M  
**Chapter Rating:  
**Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.  
**Chapter Summary: Morgana returns to Camelot to face her sentence against all the crimes that she has done and Gwen is more than horrified at the results. What happened to Morgana is known…But what about Arthur and Merlin?  
**Genre: Angst/Romance  
Chapter Type: Plot **************

* * *

Camelot loomed and by the hitching of Morgana's breath, Gwen could tell that dread was filling every fibre of Morgana's lithe body that was shivering against her own like she had caught frostbite.

"It'll be alright." Gwen lies, placing a hand over Morgana's shackled hands that are resting on her navel.

"Lies Gwen." Morgana murmurs in reply, coughing slightly and her tone bitter at the sounds of music coming from within the walls of Camelot. "Complete, utter lies."

Smiling sadly, Gwen squeezed the cold hands around her navel in what she hoped to be a comforting manner instead of an annoying one that would most likely make Morgana irritated.

A sigh, one that is not irritated but soft and gentle that makes Gwen want to lean back into Morgana's embrace.

"I'm sorry. You're trying to make me feel better and see the bright side of things but what if there is no bright side Gwen?" Morgana whispers to her friend, eyeing the knights that surround them warily and in disgust. "What if I am doomed forever and nothing what you can say can make any difference. No bright side?"

"There's always a bright side." Gwen answers back instantly, irked just a little at Morgana's previous response and slightly wondering if saying 'well am I not a bright side?' would arouse any suspicion. Probably. So Gwen kept that thought to herself.

"Ah yes. No Alice to go back home too. You are right Guinevere. There is a bright side!" Morgana commented sarcastically, receiving a hit over the head by one of the knights that rode beside her and Gwen.

"Angharad!" Arthur barked, his cobalt eyes wide and looking as if someone had just said that he and Gaius was in a relationship. In total disbelief and fury. "Keep your hands to yourself!"

Gwen glared wrathfully at the knight named Angharad that was riding beside her and Morgana, silently wishing that she had some magical power that could push the stupid idiot off his horse.

"I apologize sire but you too would want to at least hurt the one who brought you great pain by butchering your wife and son." Angharad snarled throatily, his beady coal eyes never leaving Morgana who by now had decided to remain silent and press her nose between Gwen's shoulder blades.

Merlin looked at Morgana in surprise at the same time as Arthur looked at Gwen in a way that said he wanted to know how she would react to this and both of them were sorely disappointed when Morgana lifted her head up to frown sympathetically at Angharad.

"I'm sorry…I told her not to do such a thing but she would not listen to me." Morgana spoke forcefully, her mouth moving against the fabric of her own cloak. "Morgause believed it would make her know more about magic and she was right, it did make her learn more. Though I wish there was another way, there was not and for that I apologize."

Arthur looked away, shaking his head and clapping Merlin on the shoulder as his man servant trotted past him on an old ass they had found on the road to Nehrid and had a very familiar look of Gaius's donkey from Camelot.

Angharad gripped the reins of his horse tighter, making his horse hold to let the others pass him before remaining in that spot for a while until he was sure that the rest of the group was at a safe distance where he wouldn't go wild on the prisoner.

It hardly mattered to him what happened to that witch because he knew if he didn't kill her; the rest of Camelot would most certainly do the job for him.

Smirking at the thought, Angharad sped up a little to catch up with the group and the maid servant who just couldn't help but make the prisoner feel at home with her hands wrapped around said prisoner's own like a lover shielding their beloved from harm.

Gwen watched all of this with attentive eyes, her chocolate hues trying to translate the complicated body language that Angharad was using at her and Morgana so that if Angharad tried anything she would be able to shield Morgana from harm with her body.

"I didn't kill them…"

Glancing behind her shoulder, Gwen felt her heart skip a beat at the vulnerable glazed-look that had returned to Morgana's willows hues and at the trembling that was making her own body shake.

"Morgana…-" Gwen started yet cut herself off when the enchantress glanced up at her with eyes that held so much yearning that Gwen almost succumbed to the desire to kiss Morgana's life away.

"I _swear_." And before Gwen knew it, the fire and electric in Morgana's orbs had returned; the old strong, sweet, brave Morgana appeared right in front of Gwen's eyes and Gwen fell in love with her all over again.

With a nod, Gwen rested her head just on Morgana's temple for a moment - embracing the cold and softness of it all - before pulling away with a small, honest smile that held so many answers to Morgana's confused questions.

"I believe _you_." Gwen spoke the truth, her eyes alight with such sparkling love for Morgana that it became unbearable for Gwen to look away from such a fascinating aura of perfection. As cliché as it sounded.

Morgana hiccupped a laugh. "Everyone thinks you're a fool for trusting me. You know this right?"

Gwen shrugged her shoulders in return. "What do you think? Am I a fool or not _milady_ Morgana?"

Shocking Gwen into voluntarily silence, Morgana acrimoniously smirked as if someone had just punched her in the gut. "No more than I am." Then she shook her head and laughed. "No more than I am."

Gwen didn't know what to say because she did not know what Morgana had meant by those few words. Didn't know how she should react to them words.

Her first reaction was to spill everything that she had hidden deep within her, something that she was sure Morgana wouldn't ever be able to reach without her help but some things that she had kept inside her were hardly what she wanted to talk about with Morgana. Despite the things being about said enchantress.

Gwen glanced beside her to see that Arthur had drawn back slightly so that he and Merlin was riding beside them and from the withdrawn look on both of their faces, it seemed that they wished to talk to her.

"Sire?" Gwen said in what hoped to be a coaxing tone, making Arthur feel more relaxed if he decided to answer her.

"Morgana." Arthur spoke loudly, making Morgana's body that was slumped against Gwen's jump up a little and for her cheeks to brush against the fabric of Gwen's tunic.

Gwen could feel Morgana acknowledge him with a nod of her head, the overgrown locks caressing Gwen's legs as she nodded to her old friend and somewhat brother.

"…-We…" Arthur began but with the stares of his knights, silenced himself from the sentence he was about to say and instead re-started. "I'll try to get you a fair trial though I can't promise anything. But I warn you, if you have no evidence then there is nothing else I can do."

Merlin nodded in support of his master, a solemn smile on his face as he gazed at both Morgana and Gwen with unconcealed sympathy that made Gwen want to retch in disgust at it and at herself.

Instead Gwen sighed hopelessly, turning her head away from the scene of the future King of Camelot and his loyal manservant. It hurt too much to look because the truth was, Gwen already knew the answer of the trial before it had already begun.

"Thank you…" Morgana murmured with a smile, the hands resting around Gwen's navel squeezing together tightly. "You'll be such a good king. I'm surprised you aren't already."

Gwen shut her eyes tightly in pain at Morgana's soft murmur, blinking past the tears that was threatening to rush down her cheeks like a waterfall and at the chuckles from both Merlin and Arthur.

"Things change." Was Arthur's answer, and Gwen was more than a little relieved to hear how carefree it sounded. Like he was…Complete. "Maybe I was never destined to be king."

Instinctively, Gwen looked over at Arthur's manservant with curious eyes that held so many questions that Merlin had always wanted to answer but couldn't. Why? Why was it that Arthur had to be king? Of course Gwen wanted Arthur to be king but when she looked at Merlin…It was almost unbearable at how much Merlin's face exposed the longing for Arthur.

"Ridiculous." Morgana uttered bitterly, her navel stiffening in anger and her breasts pushing harder against Gwen's back. "Tristan? Uther always had no taste when it came to leadership."

"Do not speak about him that way." Arthur retorted immediately, his cobalt eyes darkening viciously and his legs stiffening around the middle of his horse. "You have no right."

Gwen let out a breath that she had no idea she'd been holding, feeling the tension start to weave in between both Morgana and Arthur.

"I didn't kill him Arthur-" Morgana started, her voice desperate in a way that said she was more than willing to do anything to prove herself to her so-called brother; this realization enough to make Gwen want to hold onto Morgana's hands and never let go ever again. "I _promise_ you."

With a torn snarl, Arthur steered his horse away from Gwen's so that he was now at the front of the small group like he had been a few moments ago. "Don't start with your promises Morgana. They mean nothing to me."

Gwen felt Morgana tense against her back, her frame shuddering slightly. Not in fear but mainly in shock at the wrathful tone that Arthur had taken up upon and even though Gwen was pretty sure Morgana had seen Arthur in a mood before, she highly doubted that Morgana had seen Arthur like this at her.

The tension did not break at all and the only things that filled the silence was the knights talking slightly to each other and muttered conversations between Arthur and Sir Leon.

The only thing that was slightly amusing was when Merlin had been pulled off the stubborn old mule and placed behind Arthur on his horse because he (the poor boy) was falling behind due to the lack of having to ride on a proper horse which by the looks of Arthur's darkening expression, was driving him crazy at how dim-witted the manservant was for not simply walking.

Even Morgana had chuckled quietly into Gwen's shoulder blades, making sure that the laugher was hardly noticeable just in case anyone tried to silence her again.

Though despite that, Morgana did not spreak for the rest of the short journey back to Camelot's gates and when they had finally rode their way into the courtyard she had covered her head with her hood in an attempt not to be seen.

Gwen tugged on the reins of her horse, commanding it using the leather reins to slow down and then stop once they had reached the center square of the castle which would be more than safe to lead Morgana in without being seen by anyone fairly important that would cause a riot.

Merlin quickly pulled himself off Arthur's horse, blushing like crazy as he rushed towards Gwen to help her down and then the shackled Morgana who was looking around at the place in a way that reminded Merlin of when he had first arrived at Camelot. In amazement.

"Nothing has changed." Morgana smiled slightly at her own speech, her shackles starting to become heavy and making her bend over slightly in a hunched position.

Seeing this, Gwen frowned morosely at the iron that was wrapped tightly around Morgana's wrists and kneeled so that she could collect the bottom of the shackles so that Morgana wouldn't have to hunch over.

Once returning to her original position, Gwen smiled warmly at Morgana's awe-struck look almost as if Gwen had just slapped someone for stomping on her foot even though nobody actually _had_ stomped on her foot.

Heat flushed her cheeks. "Uhm. What?" And then Gwen cursed herself under her breath at her reaction.

Morgana snapped out of her trance, her porcelain skin reddening slightly and her head had turned so that she wasn't looking Gwen directly in the eyes anymore in a way of embarrassment.

"Thank you." Morgana spoke with true honesty, her head still facing away from Gwen but the smile that formed on her face was something new.

With a pungent laugh, Gwen clenched her fingers around the iron chains that rested heavily in her hands with cheeks even redder than before. "You're welcome."

"I-" Morgana began to speak, moving more forward towards Gwen only to be pulled back into the arms of Sir Leon who held Morgana tightly as if she was an untamed stallion just ready to break free; these actions causing Gwen to lose grip on the chains that fell to the ground at Morgana's feet and therefore making the sorceress hunch even more.

"Leon! Careful with her!" Arthur barked at one of his best knights, knowing clearly that Leon was a good man and he had not hurt Morgana intentionally seeming as Sir Leon knew Gwen well enough not to hurt Morgana at all. Maybe he had merely forgotten?

Snarling furiously at Leon, Morgana clenched at the shackles that held her wrists together with such ferocity that Gwen could hear Morgana's nails scrape against the iron that kept Morgana prisoner.

"We shall go see Tristan now. I expect he'll be waiting for us." Arthur told Morgana softly, gesturing to his knights to leave with a wave of his hand and a tilt of his head. "I warn you, do not anger him. He is as ruthless as a bear."

Morgana laughed shrilly, her eyes that had remained fixed on Gwen leaving to gaze fondly at Arthur. "Then I shall remain as quiet as a mouse. Unbearably quiet…"

"I somehow doubt that." Arthur spoke softly, starting to walk reluctantly up the steps towards the castle where Tristan lay in wake. "Come then."

Morgana stepped forward to the castle with her own free will for a moment and then stopped, her head turning once more to acknowledge Gwen and Merlin with a perceptive stare.

And Gwen didn't know what possessed her, but it surely was a good sign that she said it when she did.

"Good luck!" Gwen spoke in a rush, bowing her head slightly before stepping back to stand by Merlin with her arms folded, clutching her shoulders as if her life depended on it.

Despite the situation, Morgana felt a brief smile grace her lips at Gwen's words that still brought comfort even though it would mean nothing once she had stepped into the court room.

With a bow of her own head, Morgana moved forward towards where Merlin and Gwen stood in shock; their forms stiff and tense in a way that made Morgana want to reach out to grab both of their hands to reassure them.

But no, that was not what Morgana needed to do. Not what she was going to do _either_.

Leon followed her obediently, letting himself to be dragged along to where Gwen and Merlin was with little hesitation.

"Morgana what on earth are you doing?" Morgana heard Arthur cry out to her (in way that he probably used on Merlin) but she paid no heed to his words, for all she could see was Gwen and the fall that was so near yet so far that Morgana was pretty sure she could skim around it.

Then it went all slow and hazy, like a bad dream that Morgana had felt for almost all of her years of living and when Morgana finally pressed her lips against Gwen's forehead it was far too late to take it back and if she was brutally honest with herself, she didn't want to take it back at all.

Pulling away was the hardest thing though but what else could she do? What else could she say? She couldn't stay wrapped up in Gwen's embrace for all of her life and the only path she could face was to escape and rush back to Morgause in hope or just embrace the death that was sure to come.

To be pretty honest, Morgana decided that the first option of staying with Morgause was a whole lot better than the whole dying thing. Because dying was _overrated_…Or so she had been told.

Moving away from Gwen's forehead, her lips moving away from the dark skin that smelled of cherries with a smack of flesh removing from flesh made Morgana shiver slightly in apprehension of the trials ahead of her.

Morgana risked a glance down to see that Gwen was staring at her with confused, glazed eyes that held so much of nothing but confusion that Morgana felt her heart throb in longing to hold Gwen in her arms and never let go.

Damn it. None of her plans were going right today. Getting captured, trying to run away from Gwen's irresistible aura and failing miserably…Getting sent to your death practically. This was sure not Morgana's day.

"Morgana! Come _on_!" Arthur called again and this time, Leon pulled on the shackles around Morgana's wrists and hauled her away from Gwen's still searching, confused and yearning look that just didn't seem to want to wash away from Gwen's face anytime soon.

Maybe that was what hurt the most when she had been with Morgause? Not knowing what Gwen's face would most likely express through her absence. Sadness? Anger? Envy? Jealousy? What was it?

Footsteps. Her own that was plodding along the clean corridors to where Tristan sat and the royal advisers planned and plotted her capture. Well…That was most likely what they were plotting.

Oh but what fun it would be to see Tristan's and those stuck up advisers faces when they had knowledge that none of _their_ plans had caught her but Arthur's and oh, Morgana could hardly contain her laughter.

But what would make it even more fun was when those cocky advisers would look at her smug face in fear and terror because that was what they were; so fearful they were of her that Morgana could already feel the cold sense dripping down into her stomach.

They deserved it anyway, the cocky insecure bastard of a man Guy would shiver when she walked in the room and even though Morgana could not do anything to this royal pain in the backside, she would at least send him a death glare.

He had always been harsh to her when she was a little child and whenever she had needed help from so-called advisers then Guy would always jump at the chance to humiliate her and then Arthur. He was just a generally horrible person and Morgana had dreamed of killing him in many scenarios. And greatly enjoyed the one when she threw a fork at his ankle and then beating him to death with a spoon.

Footsteps. And these were not her own, Sir Leon's or Arthur's yet she knew this before she had even looked back behind her shoulder to see who it was.

Gwen. Gwen was running towards her, her eyes watery and her hands clenching around the material of her dress, lifting it up a little so that she could run faster towards her.

Merlin. Merlin was rushing towards her, behind Gwen with his arms open wide as if he was going to hug Gwen from behind and still keep running in an attempt to catch up with her. But of course not, Merlin did not want to do that with how fast he was running and to be perfectly honest…Morgana knew the reason why and silently egged Merlin on.

Gwen didn't have to hear this. Morgana didn't want for Gwen to hear this. To hear the confirmation. Because lets face it, she would not survive now that she had been caught so what was point of wondering if she would get out alive when the answer was perfectly clear?

Morgana rounded a corner, her eyes locking on the wooden doors that held her destiny within the walls and she could feel her heart break a little at the little whines and whimpers coming behind her that could only mean one thing.

Merlin had caught up with Gwen. Gwen was putting up a fight. Resistance. And Gwen was _losing_.

She had nothing to fear however, it was just Merlin and Morgana knew very well that Merlin would never hurt Gwen. Never ever. Unlike her, who had hurt Gwen so horribly that Morgana felt sick whenever she looked at Gwen's pained eyes whenever their gazes met.

"Gwen…" Morgana whispered under her breath, looking over her shoulder once again to see that Gwen was not following her anymore and all she could hear was her own footsteps and Merlin's little words of comfort. Whatever they were, they were a whole lot better than her own.

She could feel Sir Leon's gaze on her and without hesitation, Morgana looked up to give the knight a glare at his look of pure interest and pure fury that still lurked in his eyes.

"What is your reason to hate me Sir Knight?" Morgana whispered, her predatory grin taking over her face.

Arthur turned to look over his shoulder at the two, shaking his head as he started to try and sweet talk the guards into letting him and Morgana in so that Tristan would see that he _was_ a good king. That and maybe get Morgana a fair trial.

"Because you betrayed us all." Sir Leon stated in a matter-of-fact tone, his eyes penetrating through hers like swords piercing flesh. "Camelot. Uther. Your friends and Gwen."

With narrowed eyes, Morgana bit her lower lip to stop herself from snarling in anger at the blonde twit in front of her very eyes. "Do you not think I know that? Do you not think I would take it back now that I figured out the consequences of my actions?"

"And those consequences being you break Gwen in two?" Leon answered back with an irritated snap. He couldn't help it however, Morgana had not been here for the three agonizing long years of watching Gwen die slowly.

If Morgana had not been shackled and with Arthur and guards surrounding her, she would have used her magical powers to unlock said shackles and then show Leon how many things she could break in two but of course that would most likely cause her to be executed instantly. That was if she wasn't going to be executed instantly anyway.

"How dare you bring Gwen into this?" Morgana growled, struggling against her shackles in vain. "You know nothing about her!"

"I know that because of you she hasn't been the same since!" Leon retorted, earning a sharp glare from Arthur to silence him.

"If it weren't for these shackles, knight…" Morgana cursed under her breath, her willows eyes widening and then narrowing furiously at Leon who had clamped his lips shut.

Sir Leon instead just pulled her along into the now open doors, revealing her to the court in full front and a devious smirk that just couldn't leave her face now that she had finally stepped into the light of the court.

"Morgana-!"

Morgana turned her head, only just catching a glimpse of Merlin holding Gwen firmly by the arms to stop herself from going straight into the court until both wooden doors slammed shut and all Morgana could hear was arguing.

"What is this!" Tristan had spoke and Morgana instantly whipped back around to see that Tristan was out of this throne, his eyes ablaze with such wrath that Morgana could not help but smirk at such a look.

Unfortunately, Tristan's anger quickly turned into happiness and he immediately sat back down in his chair.

"You've caught her…" He murmured, awe-struck and just so happy looking that Morgana was almost tempted to throw a spell in Tristan's general direction just to wipe away that silly smirk off his un-royal face.

"Yes…" Arthur bowed his head slightly towards the 'king' of Camelot in respect. "I brought her to you so I could ask you to give her a fair trial by the laws of Camelot."

"A fair trial?" To Arthur's horror, Tristan looked shocked at the idea. "Are you mad? To give this witch a fair trial is like giving her a free horse ride to Tintagel! Certainly not, she'll be put to the crimes we've heard about and then we figure out what to do with her."

Morgana couldn't help it. She didn't care if she was shackled to Sir Leon. She didn't care if there were knights with her, surrounding her in a tight circle. Morgana laughed freely at Tristan's words.

"Oh, you're just like Uther. So very much like him." Morgana continued to chuckle, her laughter no doubt making Tristan go a red colour. "Cruel, selfish and easy to judge. You could never stand to be wrong! And here you already sentence me without knowing anything about the three years that went by without your pathetic help!"

Arthur shrugged the shackles wrapped around Leon's knuckles off his fellow knight and placed them on his own, tugging Morgana into his side to press his hand to her mouth.

"She doesn't mean what she says, she's just angry that's all." Arthur explained, his eyes widening due to the fact that Morgana was nibbling his palm so that she could speak some more.

Tristan sighed, rubbing away the sleep from his eyes and gesturing to one of the advisers next to him to bring a sheet of paper that had been lying beside him.

The adviser did so and returned to his seat, the scraping of his chair being pulled back breaking the silence in the court for a moment before Tristan clenched the paper in his hands so tight that it rustled.

"Let us start on your crimes my dear Morgana, shall we?" Tristan began, clearing his throat whilst he glanced down at the paper beneath his fingers.

"Tristan please!" Arthur whispered, feeling his fingers tighten against Morgana's mouth at the insistent squirming. "Just get on with it!"

"Ah yes…" Tristan spoke softly, unravelling the bottom of the paper until it hit just below his knee and of course, his smug smile was already plastered on his face at the size of it.

Morgana rolled her eyes and growled behind Arthur's hands.

"Ah, treachery to Camelot…Most of them are to do with that. Oh and…Thievery but shall I save the best until last?"

"Tristan!" Arthur whispered, seething. "I know that you want to bathe in her capture, but please! This is not how a king acts!"

Tristan shot him a glare that could freeze most knights, but of course Arthur resisted this glare with one of his own. "You have no right to say that, you do not know what it means to be king!"

"By the advisers own words and my father's will, I am the rightful King of Camelot, Tristan." Arthur growled, feeling his chest start to heave and his breathing to come out in pants. "And you know this is true, so is it not truly I who decides who lives and who dies?"

Murmurs came from the crowd around him, some agreeing and some shaking their heads lividly. Though the ones who shook their heads had mostly been the ones who had arrived with Tristan so Arthur wasn't that much surprised if he was honest.

"Yes, I know the agreement Arthur that was made and you have kept it well. But I shall decide the punishment for this witch. Does that not seem fair?" Tristan spoke in a fairly neutral voice and once that voice had echoed through the court, Arthur knew there was no point in arguing anymore seeming as he wouldn't get his way without his own knights coming down on him.

Surprisingly, Morgana remained silent also as if she could sense the change in Arthur by just the silence.

"Well witch. To cut to the chase, thievery and the slaughter of some of our men? Explain your actions." Tristan spoke with pressured chivalry, his fists gripping the arm of the throne that he sat on.

Arthur removed his hand and took a step back, giving Morgana a supportive smile as he did so. He still believed Morgana killed Uther but that didn't mean he believed she killed everyone that she was rumoured to have killed.

"Thievery I admit to without hesitation." Morgana spoke quietly and truthfully her head bowed down for the most part. "However slaughter, murder, whatever you wish to call it is a lie. I did not slaughter anyone at all apart from an old bard in Tintagel. And he is hardly one of your people."

"We have witnesses witch." Tristan whispered in a low, threatening voice that made Morgana smirk slightly at how cold and threatened it sounded. "And they all say it was you who slaughtered every husband of their family and friends yet you still choose to lie."

"It was not I, Tristan. Morgause perhaps?" Morgana suggested, not really wanting to drop her sister in it but she was more than just a little curious. Someone framing to be her or maybe Tristan was so worked up to get rid of her that he was paying witnesses to lie? Perhaps. She wouldn't put it pass him, that was for sure.

Clearing his throat, Tristan ignored Morgana's suggestion and instead glanced down at the sheet of paper in front of him. "Oh and…Intimate affection towards a loyal citizen of Camelot that is not only a woman but also -"

Morgana cut across him with a fierce snarl, lunging forward so fast that Arthur got dragged forward a few steps before regaining his balance and pulling Morgana back towards his chest again.

"Don't you dare!" Morgana growled, her body shaking with repetitive growls and her long locks splaying everywhere around her face that had gotten so heated up in the past five seconds that her face had turned a sickly red colour. "Do not dare to tarnish her in front of me! Especially in front of all these people!"

Murmurs again. The advisers remained silent. Obviously the advisers knew who they were talking about but the people of the royal court and servants had no idea who or what they were talking about.

Tristan did stop however, his hand stroking his chin in pure, utter curiosity that led to everyone looking at him in obedience. What was to be said? What was Tristan thinking?

Tristan opened his mouth to speak.

"Please…" Morgana whimpered, sniffing to get rid of the blockage of her heart in her throat. "This person has been through so much pain already. Clutching for someone who isn't there. Please, please don't tarnish her. Punish me. Kill me if you must, but please do not harm her name."

Remaining silent for a little while, Tristan gazed at the witch in front of him in complete disgust. Disgust being that he wasn't going to tarnish her beloved maid-servant's name and disgust at how much he actually felt sorry for the witch.

"This does not change anything witch, what you feel is something that is not allowed in Camelot and I am forced to believe that you have corrupted the loyal citizen into falling for your sick little mind games." Tristan said, his lips pursed together to stop himself from spilling everything.

Morgana nodded. What else could there to be said? She wouldn't let Gwen take the blame for anything that included her in it, she wouldn't because that was just how she was. That and she had promised herself the moment she had protected Gwen from the bandits that she had to make sure Gwen was safe, to make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid.

"Then what is your verdict my king? My punishment? My death? Or both perhaps?" Morgana spoke up, wishing for whatever to happen to happen soon before she got bored to death.

Tristan cleared his throat again, looking at the advisers next to his throne with a look that clearly said that he had already made up his mind and was asking these so-called advisers if they agreed with his verdict.

They all nodded wordlessly with solemn frowns on their faces, all knowing the truth in their answer and also knowing the consequences if they disagreed with their present King's wishes.

"Then I do not apologize for this, witch." Tristan said, spitting out the last word with contempt. "I have no choice but to sentence you to your death and hope that your death shall satisfy others whose families you have killed."

"Tristan! Y-you can't be serious?" Arthur cried out, feeling power drain from his very body at the verdict. Yes, he may have had a feeling that Tristan would go this route but was the king that stupid that he'd kill Morgana? Couldn't he see the consequences of Morgana's death?

Morgana nodded, her face grim but knowing. "I accept the verdict my lord and shall not struggle."

Arthur put his head in his hands, forgetting that he had chains in these hands and that it hurt pretty much to bang his head against iron. Half of him wanted to feel satisfied at Morgana's sentence but of course he couldn't, this was his '_sister' _that they were talking about.

"Take her away." Tristan growled, gesturing for Arthur and Leon to lead Morgana into the dungeons.

* * *

'_Sentence you to your death and hope that your death shall satisfy others whose families you have killed.'_

Gwen had slumped down the pillar that hid both her and Merlin from view (when the others opened the court doors that is) with dry, soundless sobs that wracked her whole body as if Gwen was a whirling sword.

And Merlin watched with curdling pity, knowing that if he even attempted to comfort Gwen, he himself would fall and unlike Gwen, nobody would catch him this time. Nobody because everyone believed like Tristan. Morgana was evil. Morgana was an enchantress. Morgana was…a witch.

"Gwen-" Merlin cut himself off, his heart beating so fast at the way Gwen's eyes seemed to become even more lifeless than before. And that was it. That was it. Morgana was going to die. And Gwen would never see her again.

Merlin understood why it hurt more than when Morgana was alive but a traitor. Merlin understood and Merlin knew he couldn't do anything about it. Not anymore. No more escapes.

Everyone had a dead end. It just looked like Morgana had just reached hers and that meant no more shortcuts.

"I don't understand…" Gwen murmured quietly, her eyes wide and unblinking. "Why would she do that?"

"Do what?" Merlin asked, surprised that Gwen was actually talking due to the news that they had overheard.

"Pretend…Pretend that she loved me and I did not love her." Gwen whispered, getting up from her slumped position to look Merlin directly in the face. "Why would she do such a thing?"

Glancing at the door that hid them away from the courts gaze, Merlin smiled a crooked smile for a moment before the smile vanished like a wisp of smoke. "She didn't want you to get hurt Gwen, she didn't want your name to become tarnished. Did you not hear her? She cares about you, Gwen. That's why she did it."

"_Take her away."_

Gwen did not say anything to Merlin's explanation, instead choosing to come away from her pillar so that she would see Morgana's face and if she was right, Arthur's in hope that she would be able to talk to the prince.

Merlin reached out an arm to pull her back into the darkness of the shadows where they were both easily hidden but instantly pulled his arm back to his side at the sound of the court doors slamming as Morgana, Arthur and Sir Leon walked out of the room.

Watching the group glance at Gwen in shock (mostly from Morgana and Arthur) Merlin breathed in deep breaths, truly surprised that nobody had caught onto them hiding at the door just yet.

Whatever, he couldn't stick around here any longer without getting caught and so with that, Merlin slipped out from behind the pillar and dashed down the corridors in what he hoped to be a swift attempt.

While Gwen was left alone, staring at Morgana with such imperfect, watery eyes that if possible Gwen could have collapsed at the sight of Morgana's own eyes softening gently.

"Gwen…" Morgana murmured, her eyes flickering away as if she was ashamed. Guilty. Perhaps. Perhaps not. "Are you alright?"

Biting her bottom lip so hard that Gwen could feel the light pulse of blood start to spurt on lower lip, Gwen turned her face away to hide said blood from both Arthur and Morgana.

"I've had better days I must admit." Gwen answers truthfully, hoping that she'd hidden the bitter and sarcasm in her voice well. "It is not everyday someone you…Are friends with die."

A laugh and Gwen feels her stomach clench uncomfortably at the desire to slap Morgana across the face.

"I'm not dead yet and even when I do die. I probably won't even feel it." Morgana speaks so confidently with so much smug aura radiating around her that Gwen does no longer wonder why she didn't turn to look at Morgana in the first place apart from the blood on her lips.

Wrapping her arms around her shoulders in what Gwen hoped Morgana would just dismiss her actions as being cold, Gwen caught the breaking sob that was starting to throttle its way up her throat.

"_Damn you Morgana_." Gwen whispers under her breath, bowing her head down and moving swiftly past the group for the reason that is so simple and plain that it makes Gwen want to choke up right their in the corridors until someone removed her from sight.

She heads towards her house, the only sanctuary left and the only place that she'll be after Morgana's death. For there is no point to go back to the castle anymore. No point because there is nothing left for her.

Not exactly true (Gwen was pretty sure Merlin and Arthur weren't just random anybody's) but what else could Gwen do?

Nothing and that was what annoyed Gwen the most.

She couldn't help Morgana at all without getting Morgana into even more trouble and that was what you called _frustrating _and not to mention plain _unfair_.

Nothing had never sounded so _empty_.

* * *

"Subtly was never your special point was it Morgana?" Arthur growled with a roll of his eyes, watching Gwen rush down the corridor with her head still bowed.

Morgana watched her old maid servant go with hues swimming with sympathy, confusion and pain that Morgana had never felt in her life before.

Well, not all at once anyway.

"I didn't want her to hear it…I thought she wasn't anywhere near here…" Morgana whispered quietly, her delicate digits clenching together into fists.

"But when you realized that, you still had to be so brass about it." Arthur reminded with another growl, shaking his head. "As if Gwen hasn't been through enough."

"Don't give me a lecture." Morgana rebuked, rolling her own eyes at the future King. "What I do is none of your business."

"It is when I know you're hurting one of my friends. And apparently your own." Arthur murmured quietly, his grip on the shackles making his hands start to throb in tremendous pain.

Morgana ignored Arthur completely and instead turned to sneer at the still livid-looking knight known as Sir Leon who clenched her arm as if he was clutching a sword.

"And what of you sir knight? Do you wish to behead me like your pathetic king?" The smugness and anger did not go unnoticed by Arthur, making the prince snarl slightly and pull Morgana forwards, towards the dungeons. Towards her prison.

Sir Leon followed, his face grim and his head bowed as if trying to hide or restrain something. Unfortunately, Arthur knew exactly what.

"Leon." Arthur muttered over his shoulder, pushing Morgana further down the corridor as gentle as he could. "Why don't you go check on Gwen? I can manage."

"Stop acting as if I'm not here!" Morgana yelled, making some of the guards around them glance at the slowing group. "And what is his designs on Gwen? What happened between them when I was gone?"

Ignoring Morgana by pressing his hand over her mouth once again, Arthur turned to face the straggling knight with a hard look on his face. "Go Leon. I know what's bothering you and I can't let that get in the way of your life here at the castle. Now go. Before I change my mind."

Leon nodded slightly, his chest heaving as he turned to walk away from the rightful King of Camelot - the anger towards Morgana still bubbling at the bottom of his stomach levelling to new heights. Getting away. Getting away from it all. A blessing.

He had to find Gwen, he had to tell her, to tell her quickly before it was too late and Morgana would sing to her heart once again and then crush it.

Well, that was what Leon believed anyway.

* * *

"Stay in here. But don't get comfortable." Arthur spoke coldly, strapping Morgana's chains to even more chains at the far end of the prison where Arthur was sure Morgana had been kept in once before when Morgana had spoken of treachery towards Uther concerning Gwen's father.

"Oh believe me, I won't." Morgana scoffed, sourly amused. "I'm dying tomorrow anyway."

Arthur shook his head in disbelief. "And you aren't even doing anything about it. Amazing, truly amazing."

Morgana rested her back on the cold brick wall of her prison, slumping down with a pout on her face as she regarded her old friend and somewhat brother. "What would you wish me to do? Barge my way out of Camelot with little chance of actually succeeding?"

"At least you'd die with pride and accomplishment that you actually tried to escape." Arthur retorted, hardly able to believe the rubbish that was coming out of his mouth. The rubbish that Morgana used to speak to him. As if he was the elder and she his younger sister.

Morgana avoided his gaze, her eyes sparkling with furious and bitter watery tears. "I choose to die this way. Leave me be if all you wish is to tell me what I do is wrong because you know nothing Arthur."

It was hard to forgive. It was even harder to forget. And that was what made Arthur spit his words of resentment and blinding love that made his sentence sound so opposite.

"And many wonder why Gwen loves you." Arthur spoke sourly, his low tone making Morgana look up at him with wide, tearful willow eyes. "What would your father and mother say if they saw you right now? Do you think they would be proud of you? What of Gwen? Are you so prepared to die that you wouldn't fight for survival for _Gwen_?"

Morgana bit her lower lip, refusing to cry with such defiant will that Arthur almost wished he hadn't said any of those things - making him wonder at the marvels of harsh words that would most likely bring the goodness in people.

"I won't allow myself Arthur. Respect my decisions and leave." Morgana spoke oddly quietly, her willow eyes tracing her arms before gazing at the straw beneath her in furious curiosity.

"Allow what exactly?" Arthur asked, truthfully confused and not to mention…Interested.

Ever since he and Morgana had been little together it had always been Morgana grabbing everything she could touch, everything that she thought belonged to her and if anyone disagreed…Then boy, even Uther was scared of Morgana when she was furious. At the age of 8 as well as her older years of becoming a woman.

"_Leave me_." Morgana commanded harshly, her fierce anger making a shiver go up Arthur's spine.

But of course, Arthur defiantly stood his ground with his arms crossed against his chest. "Allow what?"

With a snort, Morgana turned her whole body away from her old friend and blew a harsh breath from her lips…Obviously not going to tell Arthur anything that she was thinking and anything she had meant by what she had said.

With a sigh, Arthur turned his back on her and proceeded to walk out of Morgana's prison in two quick steps before slamming the stone door shut with only four large slits available for Morgana to look out of and for people to look into - not including the four other large slots that were supposed to be windows.

There was no point trying to get further from Morgana when all he got was seething glares and silence that seemed to make his ears bleed and his head to ache in sheer fury at not being able to discover Morgana's problem.

Even if he sorta knew the problem, it was always nice for someone to tell him straight to his face. But whatever. Arthur had a plan and if Tristan was as arrogant as he looked, it would work like a charm.

* * *

When Arthur arrived, Tristan was staring off into space with a look of pure and hard concentration that startled the prince for a moment at how rare and weird the look seemed compared to Tristan's usual look of smugness or fury.

Announcing his arrival with a cough, Arthur waited for Tristan to acknowledge him with a rather expectant smirk on his face at the knowledge that if his plan worked, Morgana would most certainly not die at all.

Tristan doesn't acknowledge Arthur with his eyes as the prince had hoped and instead answered Arthur with his sharp, low voice that made Arthur want to instinctively reach for his sword.

"Wipe that smirk off your face and tell me what you wish to say. I lose my patience easily."

Not knowing he had a smirk on his face, Arthur wiped it off with a cough and a not-so-forced frown.

"I only wish to speak of Morgana's sentence." Arthur spoke quietly, silently wondering if saying why he actually was there was a smart move to make or a foolish move that would make Morgana fall deeper into the hole that she herself had created.

"Bah." Tristan spat, massaging his temples with his fingers. "Why must you persist? The witch has been nothing but trouble and I am generous enough to turn a blind eye on the wretched servant maid who longs after said enchantress. What more must you ask of me?"

Arthur shrugged his shoulders, letting an exaggerated sigh fall from his lips. "All I ask of you is to think this through properly. Haven't you considered what might happen if we kill Morgana?"

Tristan sighed, glancing at Arthur fully for half a second before letting his cold gaze flicker over towards the window that exposed the city of Camelot to him.

"Of course I have but it does not matter." Tristan began, glaring at Arthur to silence the stuttering Prince whose face had turned red in outrage. "What matters is my people and I shall always put them first no matter the consequences that I shall receive later."

"This is insanity!" Arthur yelled, unable to contain himself any longer at his ignorant King's words. "The consequences won't affect _you_ Tristan! They'll affect _Camelot! _The _people_ of Camelot!"

"And you shall be there ready to strike down the enchantress who comes for revenge as you have done with this one!" Tristan bellowed in reply, his eyes wide and vengeful in a way that reminded Arthur slightly of his father.

"I didn't slaughter Morgana in any way or form! You are the one who is sending her to her death!" Arthur retorted, stepping forward in a long stride so that if he wanted to he could reach out and grab Tristan by the scruff of his neck.

"Where she deserves to be sent! To allow her to live is a crime in itself! Death is the only atonement she'll ever have an option to and you know as well as me Arthur that what I say is the truth."

"Nobody deserves to be sent to death without a fair trial."

"The witch is an exception and if I hadn't been persuaded, that wretched maid servant would be in that dungeon with her." Tristan growled huskily, his face hardening and wrinkling in impatience.

"You aren't listening properly Tristan and that is what I need for you to do. Just this once." Arthur pleaded gently, cooling down the bubbling anger and edginess that he was feeling. "Morgana's death will cause _war_. A war that I fear we won't be able to win."

Tristan scoffed which only made Arthur even more aggravated at the present King. "Magic only rules over the weak. Willpower Arthur, willpower is what we will need to be able to win this war. If it even comes to war."

With a sigh, Arthur looked at the gauntlet around his wrist to look at his reflection, to look at what was staring back at him. To see what he was, to see what he must do, to see…

"And what if I did this?" Arthur spoke solemnly, unfastening his gauntlet swiftly and throwing it at Tristan's feet with a loud bang at the steel hitting the marble floor beneath their feet.

Tristan eyed the gauntlet warily, his dark eyes crinkling in amusement as his lips remained in the hard, long stare. "What you are proposing…What you are proposing is treachery to your King, Arthur."

"You haven't heard my terms yet, my king." Arthur smirked, feeling that familiar adrenaline start to pump through his veins. "Because believe me, this is not treachery. Not in the slightest."

"Then speak and I may have no reason to slit your throat where you stand." Tristan chuckled darkly, his eyes never leaving the gauntlet at his feet as if the steel was teasing him silently.

"A duel for the throne that is rightfully mine. A duel that will decide who is King until that person dies. A duel to decide it all." Arthur suggested slyly, watching Tristan's facial expression very closely as if studying a puzzle. It all depending on the facial reactions. It always depended on that.

"A duel? You must think I'm stupid. I'm older than you Arthur. It would hardly be fair."

Arthur laughed with a sneer on his face. "Are you sure you aren't just a coward? My, even a simple servant would try just to have a chance of leading Camelot."

At these words, Tristan's face twisted into a cold glare that made Arthur feel more than a little proud of himself at his accomplishment of making Tristan annoyed and frustrated with his sentence.

"That's not the point. The point is I've already decided to make you King after the witch's sentence. There is no need for such trivialities." Tristan shifted on his chair, his feet kicking aside the gauntlet so that it skittered over to where Arthur was standing.

"A true king would never falter. Would never turn away from a challenge." Arthur continued to persist, kicking the gauntlet back towards Tristan with a smug smirk on his face which he quickly hid with a cough.

Tristan's body tensed and at that stiff body movement, Arthur could tell that Tristan was seriously considering picking up the gauntlet that lay at his feet because like all men, Tristan did not like to be called a coward or a weak man.

"A true _King _rules the kingdom with an iron fist. Surely the advisers told you this?" Arthur mocked in what he hoped to be a naïve tone, his cerulean eyes sparkling in wonderment at the miraculous plan that seemed to be working.

Tristan's body twitched and before Arthur knew it, Tristan was half way to picking up the gauntlet up, his fingers skimming the steel as if caressing it.

"I shall accept your challenge Arthur…" Tristan whispered reluctantly, his fingertips still skimming over the steel.

Arthur grinned, glad that of course his pushing had gotten Tristan to consider picking up the gauntlet because even if Tristan said he did accept the challenge, it didn't mean he actually _would_.

"On one condition and one condition only."

Arthur's grin was wiped from his face, his insides feeling like they were ready to burst at the tension of the situation.

Gulping to wet his throat, Arthur nodded. "I am listening."

Tristan shifted the gauntlet with his feet so that it rested just a little away from him and then looked up at Arthur with fierce determination in his cold, almost lifeless eyes.

"I still decide on what that witch's punishment will be. Not death but believe me Arthur, she still needs to be punished for her crimes. Do you agree to my terms?" Tristan asked, getting up and kicked the gauntlet further forward as he too, walked forwards towards the shocked Arthur.

Yes, he had planned to take the throne by this duel and with this duel manage to get Morgana a fair trial but Arthur had NEVER planned whatsoever for Tristan to decide the punishment (that didn't include death) and then so readily pass the throne to Arthur. To say he was a bit surprised was an understatement.

He didn't want Morgana hurt. He didn't want Morgana to get hurt because of what it'd do to Gwen and he didn't want Morgana to get hurt because of what the guilt would do to _him_.

But what else could he do? It was either that or Morgana died and…Could he, Merlin and Guinevere cope with that?

With a reluctant nod, Arthur kicked the gauntlet back towards Tristan with a solemn frown on his expression. "I agree to your terms. But I want it nothing to do with death, I still do not trust you. But a King is a man of his word, so…Do you swear?"

"On my word. On my daughters lives." Tristan answered back swiftly, reaching down to pick the gauntlet that had lay on the cobbled floor for over ten minutes; making the steel even more colder to touch.

"I accept." Arthur said, bowing his head.

Tristan smiled, wasting no time in pulling out the sword that had been by his side all along and striking at the Prince who by the time Tristan had got his sword out of its sheath, was already prepared to block said attack.

The adrenaline was rushing in his blood now. The fight was exhilarating. He had been waiting this for what seemed like an age. A true fight that tested his skills and saved lives. This was what Arthur could do. He was born to rule like this.

Tristan was good at fighting. Even Arthur would admit that, it only made it more challenging for him.

"Are you sure that the witch is worth this? Worth the humiliation when I defeat you?" Tristan riled. The smirk of Tristan was enough to do just that.

"Morgana is worth a lot more than people realise!" Arthur spat. He was trying not to let his anger peak his skill. He needed to concentrate on the steel in his hand and the marble floor at his feet. "What is this humiliation you talk about? For you will be the one who will suffer that fate." Arthur growled, succeeding in giving Tristan a blow to his head.

It was with some sick gratification that Arthur saw the blood trickle down Tristan eyebrow. The knowledge of Arthur marking Tristan with his pure hate, it made Arthur proud.

That feeling was new to him. He had never before felt so proud of fighting with someone and drawing blood.

Heck it felt sort of like when he marked Merlin. Proud that something that undeniably beautiful was his. His to lo… care for and protect. Merlin looked up to Arthur; sometimes he was glad of this fact. However when he had failed something, the look of disappointment cut straight to the core.

Tristan still unbelievable in what had happened to him, fought back. The newly expressed anger was rushing through the false King's veins. It was heating everything up. This was more than just pride here. He was sure that this was life or death for him.

Suddenly Arthur was thrown away, his equilibrium unstable. The sword that was held in his hand loosened slightly.

"Aren't you going to fight for your little sister?" Tristan snarled. As though the very thought of being relate to Morgana was utter disgust. The witch was a stain on the grand community that he governed.

"Oh don't worry, I will fight for her!" Arthur assured, regaining his grip on his sword and swinging it at Tristan. He managed to duck just in time. Arthur smirked and kicked Tristan into the throne.

"What's the matter Tristan? I thought you liked sitting on my throne!" Arthur hissed. Tristan gulped as Arthur stepped towards him with dark eyes. The blade reflecting the light that was pouring in from the window.

Arthur inhaled deeply and pressed the tip of the blade to Tristan's throat. "Do you yield?" Arthur asked, amusement clear in his blue eyes. But in them was also a look of victory.

That was when the door burst open; Arthur was livid that the court had ruined his fun once more. Turning he, instead, found Merlin standing there looking between him and the current ruler of Camelot.

"Arthur what are you doing? You can't kill him!" Merlin protested, all long limbs and wide blue eyes.

Arthur was in two minds not to jump him right there. "I wasn't going to kill him, Mer_lin_. I am merely pointing out a fact to him." Arthur drawled. Arrogant Prince mode that he just couldn't get rid of coming out.

"What point exactly are you pointing out? I'm sure it would be interesting to know!" Merlin snapped, eyebrow raised that could bring even Gauis to shame.

It really was lucky that no court members was there. Otherwise Arthur would have had no choice but to punish him. Something that he didn't like doing often.

"I'll have you know that, now I have won this fight, as I knew I would. Morgana would be given a lighter sentence, chosen by Tristan." Arthur explained, a slight smirk on his elegant lips.

Merlin paled slightly, and turned a sickly green colour. "You're letting him choose?" Merlin gasped. Something which does nothing to encourage Arthur on his rash decision to save the woman in the dungeons.

"It is either that or she dies." Arthur sighed, a hint of the sadness creeping into his voice.

The thought of losing Morgana now that he is faced with it is sickening. The annoying 8 year old brat (now a fine, young woman) had become his sister and his confidante. Someone that he used to, and at some extend still does, trust with his life. It was enough of a idea that he allowed Tristan to pull away from the makeshift prison that was Arthur and his sword.

"We have made a deal, I stick with my decisions. Do you?" Tristan questioned. A hint of pink on his cheeks. It was enough for any King to be seen beaten by the rightful King of Camelot, but it was humiliating for a mere _servant _to know he was beaten.

"I stick with my side of the bargain." Arthur nodded, not turning to face Tristan. However the footfalls of the King made its way across the room.

It broke Arthur from his train of thought. "And Tristan, one more thing before you go. Morgana is still a part of the royal lineage and a Lady. Respect is called for." Arthur growled, the underlining threat evident in his voice. The torture couldn't be too bad for Morgana; otherwise Arthur would make Tristan pay the price.

"Don't worry, young Prince. I will take her crimes and status into consideration, she will be let off lightly." Tristan bowed, his smirk telling many lies that Arthur chose to ignore for now. He left the room leaving it as awkward as it usually was.

Neither Arthur or Merlin spoke. Just let the tension build up. "You're a prat you know." Merlin sighed. A sigh that showed the signs of someone having to put up with something terrible.

"And I've told you before that you can't talk to me like that. But it seems Merlin that you never listen…" Arthur chuckled, shaking the blonde bits of hair out of his eye.

Merlin gulped at the predatory look that flashed over Arthur's face. The lecherous look that never bode well for him. Or for the skill of walking afterwards.

Arthur walked forward, gripping Merlin by that ridiculous scarf of his. Arthur sniffed appreciating at Merlin's jaw.

"Take this off, I want to see them." Arthur ordered into Merlin's ear. The soft, warm breath that Merlin was releasing onto his neck spurned him on.

Merlin looked confused at his prince for a moment before doing what he said. Arthur groaned in delight when he saw the bruises crossing Merlin's pale neck. It was something that no one could mistake as a love bite. A claim that Merlin was his. His to mark. His to have. His to tear a part and build up the pieces.

"I love it when I see you marked…" Arthur breathed, running his finger against Merlin's sharp collarbone. "Marked by me, my tongue and my hands." Arthur whispered filthily. "So very beautiful…" Arthur purred, before grabbing Merlin's hand and dragging him into his bed chamber. After all they both deserved the distraction.

* * *

Merlin wiped his sweaty brow, shrugging his shirt back on as he walked out of Arthur's chambers, making sure that nobody saw him as he speeded down towards Morgana's location.

Arthur had already gone off to talk to Gwen, his face withdrawn and morose as it usually was after they had unattached, unloving sex that normally made Merlin's butt ache like hell afterwards. Yeah…

Arthur hadn't given him the keys to Morgana's prison but Arthur _had_ given Merlin a note so that he could show the guards to give him and Morgana some privacy to discuss the trial and most importantly…Gwen.

Morgana would most likely not want to discuss Gwen with him, Morgana would most likely ignore his presence but that didn't mean Merlin was going to give up because giving up was not an option. Not when Gwen was involved anyway.

The warlock jumped down the stairs two steps at a time, his features hardened so that he'd look a bit threatening to the guards if they caused him any trouble but they'd probably be more intimidated by a beetle than his skinny form as Arthur loved to remind him about.

"_You need to eat more, I'd probably break you in two with my little finger, c'mon Merlin even Gwen has bigger muscles than you…No offence Gwen._" Merlin muttered Arthur's complaints under his breath, taking one massive jump over the wooden bars to land right in front of five muscular guards who were playing cards.

One of the guards jumped up, his beady eyes pinpointing Merlin's before sitting back down again.

Merlin glanced at the guards and then at the cell where Morgana was being kept. No guards were stationed there.

"What are you gawking at servant?"

Merlin turned, his face red. "Uh, nothing sir. I was just told to come here by Prince Arthur to talk with the prisoner."

A guard stuck out his hand. "Evidence boy?"

Merlin blew his lips, making a rattling noise as he placed the note into the guard's hand.

The guard didn't bother to look at the note, he tossed it over his shoulder and continued to play the rest of the game of cards with his friends. "Go on then, just make it quick."

Merlin nodded, silently acknowledging the fact that so many prisoners got away from Camelot because of how lazy the guards were…These guards anyway.

He rushed towards Morgana's prison, jumping down the two steps before crouching down so that the guards wouldn't be able to see him talk to Morgana and then get suspicious.

Morgana had settled at the back of her prison, her wrists shackled to the walls and her legs were also shackled - simply making it impossible to move for the enchantress unless she was skinny enough (around her ankles) that she'd be able to move forward to talk to him.

But whatever, Merlin knew he had to try anyway or Arthur would most likely use the shackles on him instead of Morgana.

"Morgana!" Merlin whispered, looking over his shoulder to make sure that the guards weren't watching before turning back to the enchantress to see that she had looked up from her hands and was watching him with great relief that Merlin had never seen in her features before.

"Merlin!" Morgana sighed, her relief quickly turning into frustration. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to tell you the good news!" Merlin smiled, unable to stop himself. He just wished Gwen could be here with him to tell Morgana the news that she would without a doubt, love to hear.

"Ah…Don't tell me. Tristan impaled himself on a sword? Great." Morgana said with a cocky smirk, rolling her eyes a little in annoyance at Merlin's unbelievable happy tone.

Merlin frowned. "That wouldn't be great. The kingdom would be in uproar and they'd most likely put the blame on you."

Morgana sighed again. "For what? For sitting in this god-forsaken prison, twiddling my thumbs?"

"Never mind." Merlin said softly, shaking his head before breaking out into a grin again. "Arthur made a deal with Tristan!"

At this, Morgana arched an amused eyebrow. "A deal? Ah yes I know of this. He will become King after my capture and execution. Yes, what of this deal?"

"No!" Merlin protested, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. "A different deal! A deal that he won! You aren't going to die tomorrow!"

At that exact moment of hearing his speech, Morgana gasped and Merlin watched in curiosity as her eyes started to water and then when the enchantress blinked, were suddenly dry and full of obvious novelty.

"I'm not?" Morgana questioned, her hands trailing to her throat to squeeze lightly at the skin. Most likely trying to make herself breathe properly.

"Nope!" Merlin grinned, shaking his head in excitement. "You're going to live!"

A smile breaks through Morgana's lips, along with a high and relieved laugh. "And Arthur made this possible?"

"Yeah!" Merlin grinned in excitement, his blood pulsing through his veins as if he was full of spiritual adrenaline. "He challenged Tristan to a duel for the throne and your punishment. And he won!"

Morgana's smile vanished. "Ah…There is still a punishment? Well…At least I live I suppose."

"Hey!" Merlin called through to the enchantress, a hard glare pressed on his features. "Arthur, Gwen and everyone else tried to get you a fair trial and we did didn't we? If you weren't so damn ungrateful you'd notice that when you were away…Only Gwen didn't stop believing you and now that you're back…Now Arthur is willing to do anything to save you!"

Morgana shuffled her feet, her hard gaze softening at Merlin's yells and truthful words that had started to make her chest ache and for her head to spin in every direction possible.

Never stopped believing. Hope. One single word that made Gwen's heart beat when she was away. Hope.

Morgana curled her hands together, wringing them and resting them on her lap in a vain attempt to compose herself and of course, she couldn't because it just hurt too much to even try…

"What will you do after your punishment? Contact Morgause? I know you can…" Merlin whispered his words cautiously in fear of being heard. "You could be doing it right now if you wanted to."

At this, Morgana's lips turn downwards into a rather fierce grimace. "And risk Gwen? I think not."

"So you do care about her." Merlin responded, ignoring the rather blunt fact that Morgana has not even mentioned him or Arthur.

Silence. Stubborn silence that is and from the looks of Morgana's turned head and flushed cheeks - that and Morgana's rather pouted dark red lips - it looks like Merlin has finally hit something. A nerve perhaps.

"I just don't want her to get hurt…" Morgana speaks softly, nodding quietly as if she is trying to convince herself. Probably. Merlin wouldn't put it past her.

"Bit too late don't you think?" Merlin snapped, surprised at himself at his venomous tone that had somehow implanted itself on his tongue.

"Don't you think I know that?" Morgana growled, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Why must you question me on this? It is none of your business!"

"It's everything of my business!" Merlin growled, his yell faded just in case the guards came down to check on him. "Gwen is my friend and what you did to her was beyond torture!"

"Well she was my…Why are you here Merlin? Why?" Morgana snarled, her back hunched as she stared at the warlock with fiery determination.

"I'm just trying to understand Morgana…If you truly loved Gwen as much as she loves you, then why did you not come back?" Merlin questioned, his faded yell becoming a soft, gentle whisper.

"Because I couldn't!" Morgana retorted back. "I was much like a prisoner as I am now apart from I was not shackled to the walls and the floor."

"How? How was you a prisoner? Was you not willing to serve your sister?" Merlin wondered openly, his head confused at the sudden speech falling past Morgana's lips and tongue.

"I am sure you've heard the saying, blood runs thicker than water. She was the only family I had and she was the only one willing to help me, to understand me, to make me feel as if I wasn't alone." Morgana replied with a quirked eyebrow, her body language making Merlin feel even more riled up along with her words.

"What about me? What about Arthur? What about…What about _Gwen_?" He asked, his body shaking at the questions that were spilling out of him like a waterfall. He had promised himself never to be open with Morgana again and yet here he was…Practically exposing his soul.

"If you had…Shown me your magical talents before then maybe things would have been different but you didn't Merlin and I never felt so alone in my whole life in those months and every time I told myself my home was with you, Arthur and Gwen…It felt as if I was lying to myself. But of course…Building walls over your heart and listening to your head…It doesn't get you very far." Morgana answered, startling Merlin at the truth that was shining in her hues. It made Merlin feel even more guilty than before when he had slipped hemlock into his water skin.

"So you-?"

"I missed Camelot more than anyone can imagine but I also wished to learn more about myself. To become powerful and wise and when Morgause saved me, I have never wanted those attributes so much as I did then." Morgana whispered, her willow orbs glossy with such emotion and honesty that Merlin himself had to look away even as he continued to listen to Morgana speak.

"I never knew it would become darker. I never wished it. Yet it did and by then, when the truth of what Morgause wanted finally dawned on me…It was far too late to turn back to Camelot. Far too late to try and make Uther understand so instead I took to wearing Morgause's bracelet more often than I did than usual. It helped me sleep but it also gave Morgause…Control over me if that is one way to describe it."

Merlin's expression scrunched up in puzzlement. "Control? How?"

"Evil resides in that very bracelet Merlin…It will drive a good man to insanity and back again. It will make the mind turn sour and cruel…Twisted even. I have no idea how I managed to escape it even when Gwen managed to tear it off my very skin. I'm not sure how I survived. It seemed as if the bracelet was implanted into my very being. But still…The bracelet is dark and cursed and with it, Morgause can drive me into doing things I do not remember. Maybe I was the one who killed Uther, maybe but if so, I do not remember it. The bracelet…It controls me as if I was its puppet and Morgause the puppeteer."

Merlin felt his jaw slack and his mouth dry up, he used his tongue to dampen the dry skin that was his lips in addition to that Merlin felt the bulge that was in his jacket with cautious fingers.

"So you had no control whatsoever?" Merlin asked, feeling suspicion start to creep up into his tone of voice. He didn't know what to believe anymore, but all he knew was that he had to protect Gwen and Arthur at all costs. Maybe he even had to protect Morgana…

"You aren't listening properly. Of course I had some control or I would never have made it to Gwen without killing her." Morgana explained once more, clutching her temple in frustration. "What I'm trying to say is it influences people. Influences people to make a wrong choice. To kill. To spawn. Only someone with an enormous amount of willpower won't be affected by that bracelet."

Merlin's eyes lit up but almost immediately dulled down again. He didn't want Morgana getting the wrong idea yet before he could open his mouth, the enchantress was already speaking.

"You don't have to believe me. I doubt many people will but if you want the truth, then there it is." Morgana spoke with a solemn tone, the tone making Merlin's fingers brush against the metal in his pocket.

Morgana glanced at him for a moment, smiling before looking down again at her hands. "And for what it is worth…Thank you."

Gulping, Merlin forces a tight smile on his boyish features. "It's more than okay, I just -"

Footsteps, two pairs belonging to a man and a woman - the noise making both him and Morgana look up.

"Gwen! Slow down! Morgana will still be there even if we walk as slow as a snail!" Merlin can hear Arthur's yell from a mile away, the strong sound making a adoring smile light up his face.

"You don't know that!" Gwen's reply is quick and snappy, the eagerness of Gwen bringing Merlin warmth in the bottom of his stomach and no doubt either making Morgana feel bad or wanted. Either way, Merlin felt himself smile.

And before Merlin knows it, Gwen is by his side, also kneeling down and of course; her eyes on nobody but Morgana.

Merlin nods and stands up, rushing past Arthur (who looks at Merlin longingly as his manservant passes) to find Gaius. As he is the only one who can help him now to solve the puzzle.

Arthur doesn't follow but neither does he stay. It is hardly his place, so with a nod of his head to the guards, Arthur leaves with nothing but a confused head and a heavy heart.

Morgana watches Gwen warily, half of her yearning to reach out and touch Gwen while another part (the darker part) wishes to do nothing but ignore the sinful feeling of…the unknown emotion that is driving her insane.

But Gwen isn't afraid, isn't confused and isn't even remotely interested in the consequences and sticks out her hand through the bars; her palm open and her fingers stretching as far as they can just to try and touch her.

All Morgana can do is let her gaze flicker down to Gwen's outstretched hand, her ardour stare moving up and down to look into Gwen's eyes and then towards Gwen's hand. Her heart and her head confusing her into mind-numbing silence.

"Please." Morgana can hear Gwen whimper the word, the word that holds so much…By gods, Morgana isn't even sure what it holds and to be honest, she no longer cares.

With much straining, Morgana shifted so that she was on her knees; her arm outstretched in an attempt to reach out and brush her skin against Gwen's (perhaps a vain attempt) to make both of them feel…Feel the unknown.

Morgana made her whole body surge forward, her fingers gripping and entwining with Gwen's own for a moment before the shackles that held her forced her back into its cold embrace; though it did not matter seeming as the slightest touch that belonged to Guinevere seemed to have the miraculous effect of making her feel…whole.

In a weird sort of sense.

"Arthur said that…" Gwen started but cut herself off, the small smile on her face overbearing her vocal ability.

Unable to stop herself, Morgana chuckled softly. "Yes…Merlin told me that Arthur was going to tell you the news."

"…But you're still-" Gwen's light-hearted tone has changed and Morgana can recognize the anguish in her friend's features.

"Uhm, yes I think so." Morgana answered back, feeling the awkwardness start to ripple into her sentences.

"Leon came to speak with me." Gwen spoke to the cold, stone floor - her expression shadowed by her dark locks of hair. "He told me that…"

"That he feels for you?" Morgana finished Gwen's sentence off with a bitter snap, anger at herself making her stomach twist and turn.

"No!" Gwen glanced up at the enchantress, eyes wide in shock. "No! Of course not! He only wished me well! And…And he told me to tell you that you're lucky…Very lucky."

Morgana sighed, wishing that she could inch further upwards towards Gwen so that she would be able to comfort Gwen with her embrace or something awkward like that which would probably leave her heart racing.

"Yes…Yes, I know I am." Morgana breathed out gently, her willow hues gazing over Gwen's until the darker-skinned woman turned away.

"I heard the punishment won't be as bad but Arthur has given me permission to check on you afterwards…" Gwen started, her lips clamping together in anxiety. "Just to see if…_Tristan _wounded you or anything."

Morgana smirked a tiny bit at how Gwen spat Tristan's name out, as if it was filth and of course even if the people of Camelot did not see it now, they would soon see that Gwen was right about the scavenger of Tintagel.

"Thank you but you don't have to." Morgana murmured, still smirking as her dark locks covered her face. "I'm stronger than I look."

"Even so." Gwen continued with a fierce look on her features, her brow furrowed in determination. "I want to make sure you're all right. Tristan can be…Harsh with his punishments."

"Has he hurt you?" Morgana found herself demanding, her teeth snaring her lower lip in a fit of a short burst of anger. And what frustrated her even more was that she had shown this short burst of anger freely and without thinking of the consequences.

Gwen laughed, mirth in her chocolate brown eyes that Morgana hadn't seen for a while - maybe even Merlin and Arthur hadn't seen it for a while - that made Morgana's cheeks flood with heat.

"You can read me like an open book." Gwen smiled, letting her hand caress the cool metal that held her away from the enchantress. "But it doesn't matter, all that matters now is that you're safe from death."

Despite herself and the painful twinge in her head (that could only mean one thing), Morgana found herself smiling in return. "And I believe I have Arthur, you and Merlin to thank for that…"

The enchantress's smile grew wider as Gwen ducked her head in embarrassment, not meeting her gaze even when Morgana cleared her throat to try and get Gwen to look at her.

"I didn't really do anything…"

"Well thank you anyway…"

They both glanced up at each other, smiling before ducking their heads back down again.

"Gwen! I need to talk to you!" Arthur's familiar voice echoed through the place, making Gwen jump and glance behind her in the direction of Arthur's voice.

"_Now_?" Gwen called back, the plea in her voice to stay obvious to Morgana as she watched the maidservant.

"Right now!" Arthur yelled back, making Gwen's shoulders slump in clear disappointment.

Morgana sighed, a shaky smile appearing on her features as she studied the curve of Gwen's face. "It is alright Gwen, you can go."

Her old maidservant turned to gaze back at her over her shoulder, a small smile on her expression. "Are you sure?"

"I don't want you-" Morgana bit her lower lip to stop herself saying more and letting more ridiculous words spill out of her mouth and instead tilted her head to the side, gesturing for Gwen to leave.

With an uncertain nod and a faded grin, Gwen placed her forehead against the outside of Morgana's prison before getting up and rushing out - not noticing that the enchantress watched her go with a deep grimace.

* * *

"Gaius!" Merlin speeded into his old friend's home, out of breath as he collapsed in a waiting chair next to Gaius's rickety old table where most of his 'experiments' lay scattered.

"Merlin!" Gaius scowled at his apprentice, watching as the boy let his hand fall limp on a jar of rotten mushrooms which he had been preparing all day for his latest medical experiment. "What is wrong with you? You've been acting jumpy all day while I've been doing this special ex-"

"I need to show you something!" Merlin exclaimed, jumping up and feeling the metal in his pocket warily. "You know that Morgana's back don't you?"

Gaius sighed, scowling once more at him. "Yes…I know. As fortunate as it may be, I'm still not entirely sure Morgana will just be allowed to be punished."

"I don't think Gwen will allow it either. But anyway." Merlin cut through his master's sentence, pulling out the metal that seemed to call to him and his magical abilities and placing it in front of Gaius.

The physician paled dramatically. "Is…Is that what I think it is?"

Merlin nodded solemnly. "I found it in the bushes by where Morgana and Gwen was…I just can't believe…"

Gaius shook his head and grasped the object to study it. "I must study it immediately. If this is what I think it is then…"

Merlin nodded in understanding. "Do what you want with it, but Gaius don't-"

"I know my boy. Thank you for the warning all the same but I know what it does." Gaius smiled warmly at the warlock, pocketing the object in his robe.

Merlin smiled grimly, walking past his master to study some more of his magic in his room. Privately.


	6. Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: Faith**

**Title: Faith**

**TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)**

**Rating: T - M**

**Chapter Rating: M [For Extreme Sexual Tension? Heartbreaking scenes. D: Oh and blood. ;D]**

**Summary: Morgana could scream at her. Threaten her. But would Morgana ever hurt her? Gwen knew that she could not. And so did Morgause. But what will Morgause do once she gets knowledge that Morgana has been captured? What about Gwen? Morgana/Gwen, Merlin/Arthur.**

**Chapter Summary: Morgana's appearance is known to the people of Camelot as she is faced with her punishment. And an old face appears once more.**

**Genre: Angst/Romance**

**Oh and I am in total denial btw. This is so my intake of the King Arthur legend. Yes. Arthur is screwing Merlin. Morgana is pretty much screwing Gwen. Mordred who? -sits in her denial corner- :3**

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

Merlin sighed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he dragged himself towards Arthur's bed chambers.

He really hoped that the prat would be awake because he sure deserved not to lie in on this day after what had occurred last night before Merlin snuck out and into his own quarters - where the asleep Gaius lay oblivious.

Morgana's punishment. Trial. Whatever. It was today and Merlin had no idea why, but he had a really bad feeling about what the outcome would be if Tristan was planning Morgana's punishment.

Yes, he had said that the punishment would not be too harmful, except how could they trust Tristan when the tyrant of a king was so willing to throw Morgana's life away without a fair trial that could prove her innocence?

That was right, they couldn't trust him.

Yet it was not in Merlin's place to speak up to worries to anyone, never mind Arthur who would most likely throw his concern away like a spoilt child throwing a broken toy away now that they knew it was torn.

Merlin shrugged his shoulders as if trying to shake off the bad feeling in his gut, turning a corner so that he was now face-to-face with Arthur's chambers.

He stopped at the door, his blue eyes sizing the door up almost as if the wood had declared a duel against him, but of course it was not due to that at all…

This was part of Merlin's daily routine. And it was named the 'Before-You-Talk-To-Arthur-Take-Deep-Breaths-So-You-Don't-Act-Like-A-Complete-Moron'! He had made the name up himself.

He didn't know why he bothered, to Arthur he always looked like (and acted like) a complete moron so it wouldn't really matter anyway if he did anything stupid because what was the point in trying?

With another sigh, Merlin pushed Arthur's chamber doors open to reveal a fully clothed Arthur staring down at the square where servants are bustling around; some carrying jugs of water while others are bringing leather whips down to the square and of course Merlin can understand why this is putting Arthur off ease.

"Sire? You're dressed?" Merlin managed to stammer the words out of his mouth, silently moving forward to stand next to the King of Camelot.

"Feeling observant today Merlin?" Arthur answered back coldly, his arms folding together in a way Merlin recognized as his 'thinking' stance.

"I was just…Surprised." Merlin admitted, being bold enough to sit down at the ledge of the window so he himself, could stare out at the square of Camelot.

"Well Merlin, would you like me to get undressed?" Arthur asked his manservant, actually turning to face him with a bold smirk.

"I don't really mind…" Merlin found himself grinning back, despite the large red heat that was on his cheeks.

Arthur chuckled through his dark expression, gripping Merlin's shoulders in a steady playful grab. "You're a funny man Merlin. But we have urgent things to attend to."

Merlin pouted at his master. "And you're an unfunny prat."

Arthur once again laughed, turning his back on his manservant to stride towards his chamber doors.

"Now come along Merlin, Tristan requires our presence!"

Merlin sulkily got up from the ledge he sat on, following his master and King with obvious bitterness.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

Gwen had talked to Arthur last night. Arthur had talked to her last night. She understood what she must do and she was more than grateful of Arthur for gaining her this responsibility that nobody could take away from her - the only way being force which was a way Arthur would never allow.

The dress that she held in her hands was fairly old. So old that ragged blue strands were draping the dress in their fabrics, making the dress look like it had been dragged through a thorn bush about ten million times before Gwen actually managed to get it.

But this was the dress Tristan had apparently picked out for Morgana and to defy the 'king' (as funny as it may be to know before anyone else apart from Merlin that Arthur was the actual king, she knew that she couldn't let anything slip just yet) would most likely get her sent to the stocks which wouldn't be a great thing to do in her position.

Gwen scurried down the long, winding corridors that led towards the dungeons where Morgana awaited (most likely tired due to lack of sleep as all the prisoners were) only to bump into both Merlin and Arthur rushing towards her.

"Hey!" Gwen scowled playfully at them, moving the dress aside so that her hands rested above her hips. "Watch where you're going you two!"

Merlin smiled meekly in apologies whilst Arthur just looked at Gwen warily with folded arms.

"Guinevere…" Arthur started, glancing down at the dress and then at the maidservant before him. "Are you going to be alright with this?"

Gwen laughed slightly, feeling heat flush her cheeks at Arthur's obvious concerns. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it. I'm just glad you got me this position in the first place."

At this, Arthur grimaced slight and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment - almost as if he was flushed because of him being nice. "Yes. Well. Don't mention it."

Merlin then perked up immediately. "Really. Don't mention it!" Which really just led him to have a smack around the back of his head.

"Shut _up_ Merlin." Arthur growled, sighing at the giggle he received from Gwen at his red cheeks and actions towards his manservant.

Cocking her head to the side, Gwen continued to laugh at the manservant and his master in pure wonderment. Despite what Arthur said, Gwen could tell how deeply he cared for Merlin and how much he longed for his manservant in a world full of hate and misfortune with so many obstacles it was hard to count.

It was rather sad to watch, but it was also the thing that kept Gwen hopeful. Inspired her even.

"Tell Morgana I wished her good luck." Merlin grinned at Gwen widely, too widely for Gwen's liking and most likely forced. "I mean for today - which I know isn't a GOOD day but maybe a bit of good luck would do her good or something like that."

Despite Merlin's kind words, Gwen frowned. "Merlin, you're making me extremely nervous about the whole thing. Even more than I was before."

"Merlin!" Arthur growled in annoyance, jabbing his elbow hard into Merlin's ribs with a strained smirk on his face. "Stop it! You're making _Guinevere _nervous!"

"Ow!" Merlin rubbed his sore ribs, glaring at Arthur before letting his gaze soften at the sight of an anxious-looking Gwen. "Sorry Gwen."

"It's fine." Gwen smiled in reply, hoping that it would reassure Merlin even if it didn't reassure herself. "I guess I'm just being silly really…"

"Well either way." Arthur tapped her on the shoulder lightly, grinning slyly as he did so. "Morgana is lucky to have you by her side in this matter. Many people wouldn't stand by her. Just tell her that for me will you Gwen?"

In response, Gwen smiled weakly and let her own hand slide on the shoulder that Arthur had touched. "I'll try my best to tell her that."

"Right." Arthur said, clearing his throat and turning away to look at his manservant with his mouth tightly shut into a firm smile. "Come on then Merlin. We've had enough distractions today, don't you think?"

Arthur nodded his goodbye to Gwen, turning his back on the maidservant to storm his way up the corridor towards the outpost where he, Tristan and Merlin would hold Morgana's punishment.

Merlin however stayed, grinning at his best friend before pecking her on the forehead to rush after his master. "Bye Gwen!"

"Bye Merlin!" Gwen called back, waving at her friend's back as he raced to keep up with his master.

With a smile, Gwen turned her back on Merlin and continued to head down towards the dungeons where Morgana lay in wake for her.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

"Breakfast churl!"

Morgana's eyes fluttered open warily, her whole body that had been lying on the cold floor for the whole night protesting quietly at her for doing such a tremendously stupid thing and not sleeping on the sacks that were laid in the corner for her.

Not that they would of been more comfortable. On the contrary, it would have probably hurt more.

"Either get here to have your breakfast or get flogged without any meat on your bones!" The guard yelled at her again, his voice ragged and impatient - almost drunk by the sound of it.

'_Flogged?'_ Morgana grinned at the thought. She knew it when Merlin had told her that Arthur had still let her be punished that it still would be Tristan deciding. Shame really, she had really hoped that Tristan _had_ impaled himself on his own sword.

Nevertheless, she _was_ hungry so only that reason made the enchantress lift her head up to acknowledge the guard who was shoving a wooden tray with food on it through the thin bars of her door.

The sight made Morgana laugh. "And how am I supposed to reach that food?" She could hardly touch Gwen who practically had almost her whole arm through, how on god's name was she supposed to get her breakfast?

"You've got legs haven't you?" The guard grunted in impatience, not noticing the steps that were becoming behind him.

"That may be so but that does not mean I can use them." Morgana argued, not noticing either the footfalls of someone coming up behind the guard and the shadow that was starting to cross her dungeon walls. "I can't stand up, you'll have to get me out of these chains for me to eat."

And at this, the guard bellowed his laughter, his stomach actually rumbling because of the sound. "Do you take me as a fool? To let you out would surely decide my fate as palace guard! You'd slaughter us!"

The enchantress smirked, eyeing the guard up with her sultry willow eyes that seemed to have made the guard go into a drunken stupor. "What would be the point? I'd die as soon as I walked out of these dungeon walls and where would that lead me? My death."

At the word death, the guard seemed to get out of his conscious-coma with a hasty shake of his head. "Don't think you can be enchanting me with your witchy tricks, enchantress! No way in -" The guard was about to continue his rant of not even thinking about going into Morgana's prison when a familiar face that made Morgana go into her own drunken stupor appeared behind the guard, tapping his shoulder to make themselves known.

"Gwen!" The guard looked relieved to see her in addition to that, he shoved the tray into Gwen's hands (which by the looks of it was already full with something rather heavy looking and blue) before scrambling up the stairs with one last shout of. "Watch her Gwen! She's a tricky one!"

Gwen watched the guard go, startled but mildly surprised at the guard's outburst seeming as she knew how he felt when it came to Morgana and her interesting abilities when it came to the seductive arts of being a woman - Gwen was even pretty sure she had seen Morgana use them before on a poor man who had been Uther's servant until Uther had caught him looking at Morgana with so much passion that Uther had gotten outraged and had him executed.

Morgana's laughter broke Gwen away from her thoughts, making the maidservant turn to scowl disapprovingly at the enchantress who was still laughing (though her loud laughter had now died out into whispering giggles).

"Are you winding up the palace guards?" Gwen whispered quietly, her stern grimace still traced on her lips as she quietly opened the door to Morgana's prison with the key the guard had left on the tray.

In reply, Morgana laughed once more and placed a hand on her heart in mock offence. "Me? Why would I do such a thing? I am merely an innocent woman." And to Gwen's utter irritation, the enchantress finished her sentence with an alluring smirk that made Gwen want to fall to her knees.

"Ah." Gwen spoke bitterly, rolling her eyes whilst placing the tray down next to Morgana's side so that the enchantress could now eat. "Another innocent prisoner. We seem to be getting them more often."

Despite what Gwen had said, Morgana still did not show any remorse on her face even when Gwen's glare had not left her face, she just continued to eat at her bread and ice cold water that was laid out for her.

Her willow eyes did flicker up however to meet with Gwen's chocolate hues and the maidservant couldn't help but look down to gaze at her feet whenever Morgana did this, mostly because Gwen knew she couldn't handle such an ardour stare without collapsing in a pile of mush.

"Look at me." Morgana commanded after the icy water had swum down her throat, irritation at herself for letting the words pass her lips because of the undeniable desire that had glazed her…All over.

Gwen has to trap the groan from escaping her parted lips by biting her tongue, her eyes slowly looking upwards to gaze all up Morgana's slim, lithe, desirable body before Gwen can actually meet Morgana's eyes in a fervent stare that sends shivers up her spine.

A strangled cough breaks through Gwen's lips, the noise making Morgana's willow hues dilate at the piercing sound.

"Undress me." Morgana commands once more, eyes lingering on the torn, tattered blue dress in Gwen's hands with a full-blown smirk on her face.

Gwen doesn't answer at all, her hands are clenching and creasing the tatty old blue dress that is in her palms at the same time as trying to keep her breathing normal so that Morgana wouldn't notice and quickly use this as her advantage.

Because Gwen knows Morgana's game as if she has played it for years. Which she hasn't, may she add.

Her dress is starting to feel tight (hot and sweaty) and her bodice is starting to suffocate her at the eagerness of Morgana's (now dark, most likely glazed over with unmistakable lust) willow orbs that are tracing her body and face as if she was a map instead of a living, breathing person.

"That's what you're here for isn't it Guinevere?" Morgana continued to smirk, revealing pearly white teeth to match that 'irresistible' look that paled most noblewomen when compared to the woman in front of Gwen right now.

Cursing silently under her breath, Gwen took in a deep breath to try to compose herself before looking at Morgana once more with a unimaginable fire in her chocolate hues.

The instant that Gwen looked up, her dark, almost unearthly skin burning hot with either lust or embarrassment. Either way it was the same to Gwen. Because she should not be feeling this way about Morgana. She had a job to do of course, and she was a respectful maid.

Walking over to the seductress she tried hard to remain looking at Morgana. However the intensity that Morgana was looking at her with made it too much.

"Are you alright Gwen?" Morgana asked, a pretty grin spread across her pale opposite features. "You seem very hot all of a sudden." Morgana commented.

This only made Gwen redder and Morgana laughed. "Don't worry Gwen, I'll make it easy on you. I'll be gentle." Morgana chuckled, well aware of what it was doing to Gwen. Her evil side could work in her advantage sometime.

"Turn around Morgana, please." Gwen requested, keeping her eyes on the laces of Morgana's bodice.

"Ah, are you distracted dear Gwen?" Morgana smiled, her soft features showing how much she cared for the woman in front of her.

"I'm still chained to this stinking cell wall." Morgana spat. Her obvious distaste to the situation shining through her voice.

Gwen nodded and reached back to get the key. "I'm sorry…Yes I am distracted. You are getting punished today. Have you forgotten that? You could get hurt. You _will _get hurt. Don't you know that I would… that I… that I would care?" Gwen snapped, irritated at Morgana to say such a thing when she knew obviously that she was distracted.

Morgana bowed her head, her dark, lithe hair falling and framing her face. "I'm sorry Gwen, I did not think that my punishment would harm you in such a way." Morgana apologized as she leaned forward to kiss Gwen's forehead lightly - earning a gasp from the startled maiden. "If it's anything to comfort you with, I'm glad that you are here with me now." Morgana shrugged, rubbing her wrists now that they were free from the chains.

"No I'm sorry, I should get on with my job." Gwen muttered, laying a soft hand on Morgana's waist.

"_Gwen_…" Morgana breathed, eyes fluttering close. The touch of her small, gentle hands sending Morgana into a mischievous mood which made her face light up with an impish smirk.

In response to Morgana's soft, sensational whisper, Gwen gripped at the lace of the bodice. "_Stop it_."

Morgana just laughed under her breath, the breathless laugh making Gwen's face heat up immediately once again.

Gwen finished unlacing the bodice behind Morgana. Walking around her to face her front, Gwen pulled the dress down off her arms, continuing down her body. Gwen's face going darker the further it went.

"Where is your underdress?" Gwen asked, surprised. She switched her gaze over to the wall, making sure she fought the urge to peak at Morgana's heavenly body.

"Well, on that day that I was captured, it was quite hot where we were staying. Morgause liked to make sure I was comfortable…" Morgana smirked, a slight angry streak in her eye. Plus the memories of what happened that night…It almost made Morgana want to be sick.

"Oh that makes sense I suppose…" Gwen nodded with a sad smile on her expression, gesturing for Morgana to step into the torn rag of a dress.

Gwen began to rearrange Morgana's dress properly so that it wouldn't loosen up so much when she walked, her chocolate hues gazing over at the pale, creamy skin that seemed to taunt and taint her with its…

Many people would describe it as Sin. But they were wrong to mistake sin for beauty. For that was what it was. Not sin. Beauty. Pure beauty.

Then Gwen saw it.

Morgana watched her closely, studying the mark imprinted on her shoulder that she had been deliberately hiding from Gwen for a while in fear of the questions that the maidservant would ask and the truthful answers she would have to give.

Dark, inked knots and spirals made Gwen glance even harder at the bold mark below the enchantress's shoulder, the mark having the shape of a large circle while knots and lines crisscrossed over each other in said circle; the inks glowing brightly in the candlelight.

"Is that from-?" Gwen cannot finish her sentence, fearing that if she did she'd hurt herself even more by just looking at it.

"Not from the druids if that's what you're thinking." Morgana answered, feeling her face start to get hot and her throat becoming dry in complete utter desire that torments her whenever she looks Gwen straight in the face.

"Then where?" Gwen finds herself demanding, letting a bold finger trace the sacred symbol just below Morgana's shoulder with eyes full of intense lust and curiosity. Curiosity that is close to bursting.

Morgana rolled her eyes in response, a bitter chuckle startling Gwen slightly from her little daydream. "Call it a rebellion emblem if you want…"

Gwen remained silent, her silence encouraging Morgana to continue with her speech just to satisfy her rising suspicions.

The sorceress sighed once again, revelling in Gwen's touch with a deep breath before she spoke once again. "It is a mark that resembles that we are magic. It has been happening everywhere whenever a person with magical talent is found or brings themselves in. They are forged with that mark for the rest of their life and then sent out back into the wilderness to see how long we will last without being killed."

Gwen lets her fingers stop caressing Morgana's skin at those words, a new kind of dread forming in her stomach and with that in her head, Gwen placed her sweaty forehead in between Morgana's shoulder blades before letting out a devastated sob that she is sure Morgana can hear.

"Morgause did it herself. We didn't need any old blacksmith. Not when you're magical yourself, right?" Morgana spoke solemnly, biting her lower lip to stop herself from also sobbing at the raw pain that was making her heart ache all over.

"Why would she…Why would she do that to you?" Gwen whispered into Morgana's back, eyes squeezed shut and her fingers clenching at the revealed skin that was Morgana's back.

"She said to be proud of whom I am…" Morgana spoke with a gentle whisper, her head raised up to stare at the ceiling of her prison with an aura of fulfilment. "And I am proud to be who I am. Magical."

"I know that." Gwen said with a nod into Morgana's back, the fingers that had been clenching at Morgana's back now stroking the skin leisurely in comfort. "But why would she do this to you when it risked you dying?"

"I already told you why." Morgana found herself snapping back in response, her fingers curling into a fist of pure frustration. "To show off myself as a magical being! That is why she did it!"

"Even knowing that you could die because of it?" Gwen found herself growling back in response, her eyes that had been tightly shut now wide with vicious anger that the maidservant had never experienced before. "How could you allow her to do that for something so _pathetic_ as pride?"

"Because I believe in what she does!" Morgana spat, facing around to face Gwen with her lips parted into a callous scowl. "Maybe not all of what she has done but I hate being looked down upon because I am a magical being. That is what drove me away from Uther and Camelot in the first place. The utter hate for magic!"

"People don't hate magical beings!" Gwen cried out in exasperation, fingers tugging loosely at the sleeves of her dress to calm herself. "People hate what some magic does but they don't hate the person who _is_ magic!"

At that instant, Morgana's hand reached forward to cup the right side of Gwen's face, her eyes softening into something that seemed licentious and restrained at the same time.

"Do you hate what I've done?" Morgana said tenderly, her thumb grazing Gwen's dark cheek with a reserved touch and the action making Gwen's eyes avert downwards to her feet.

"Please Morgana the quicker it happens the quicker it's over with." Gwen pleaded at the same time as jerking her head away from Morgana's grip once seeing Morgana's scorching look that had the ability to melt mountains and make women cave...

"What if I don't want it to start now? What if all I want is to stay here with you? Would you allow me to?" Morgana questioned dryly, a slight maniacal edge to her voice. "Would you allow an enchantress to stay with you?"

Gwen gasped once more, looking away from Morgana once again to try and hide the damned emotions that would do nothing but get both her and Morgana killed in an instant.

"Morgana please, you're making it hard for me…" Gwen begged, pulling the tattered bodice up Morgana. Fingers skimming over Morgana's breast.

Morgana let out a groan and closed her eyes at the light touch, body flushing slightly in embarrassment at being so damned obvious about what she was feeling at Gwen touching her intimately.

"Gwen…" Morgana whimpered, leaning into the touch that made Gwen want to do nothing but listen to Morgana, to ravage her fully despite the consequences that would follow.

"Please Gwen." Morgana insisted her voice quavering, her hands shaking as they tried to reach for Gwen's hands.

Gwen pulled her hands away slightly, before repeating the action. Morgana laid her hands on Gwen's small waist. Their actions slightly shocking the pair and making Gwen look up to meet Morgana's confused, desperate hues.

And that was what hurt Gwen the most.

"You have 3 minutes!" A guard called from the stairs. The moment was ruined as Gwen instantly pulled her hands away from Morgana, much to her disappointment.

"Come on Gwen we still have time!" Morgana demanded, her eyes glazed with an intense lust. Gwen was half afraid that when the guard came down he would put two and two together and call the King.

Gwen let out a tut and carried on lacing the bodice. Trust Morgana to seduce her into not even thinking straight. God they could have got killed.

"I must go. You're done." Gwen whispered, not meeting Morgana's eyes. The fear of what might happen if she did was too great.

"No Gwen…Thank you…" Morgana stuttered, something that was not common to the sorceress. Her nerves of what the punishment must be, scaring Gwen foolishly.

Gwen nodded with fierce tears welling and started to turn to leave Morgana to her fate when a soft, lost voice silenced her movements with how gentle and piercing it was to her.

"And I'm sorry." Morgana had never sounded so much like a little girl to Gwen in all her life, the vulnerability that shone through Morgana's voice made Gwen's digits clench into a fist.

"I'm sorry…I should never have done that to you…Another thing you must try hard to forgive me with…" Morgana's gasp signalled what Gwen feared would happen…Morgana's tears was enough to make Gwen crash to her knees, for her to run to Morgana, hold her and never let go…

Gwen gulped hard, feeling her throat start to clench as the tears that had welled up started to streak down her face in a desperate attempt to get free from Gwen's brimming eyes.

"Seducing people once I was with Morgause was the only thing I learned since I was there…Apart from magic of course." Morgana continued her speech, her voice (that had broken slightly halfway through her speech) made Gwen force herself to turn around to see Morgana properly.

It hurt to look. To see a Morgana that wasn't shielded with her bright smile, her cocky attitude, her seductive movements…It had been stripped all away now, just to reveal a lost, confused woman that made Gwen's heart ache in hope and faith that people had called stupidity.

"I c-can't…" Gwen whispered quietly while shaking her head, glancing back behind her shoulder in a way to give her a reason to leave Morgana so that she wouldn't fall into the sorceress's enchanting aura that would suck her in and leave her out to dry.

"I'm sorry…If I were to…" Morgana didn't have to continue the rest of her sentence and instead tried again on a new path. "I would do it out of love."

Once Morgana had said those words, Gwen had to turn away to stop herself from letting out a dry sob in front of the sorceress and making her come forward to touch her, to comfort her because Gwen was pretty sure that was definitely something she _couldn't_ handle.

"I know…" Gwen whimpered, her arms folded just like Arthur did when he was restraining himself from either saying something or doing something that he'd regret later on.

"I just wanted you to know that…I would-" Morgana's voice broke out once again, making the enchantress let out a frustrated growl at herself.

"_I can't allow myself Guinevere_." Morgana whined, her face scrunched together as if she was in an alarming amount of pain by just saying these words to Gwen's stiff back.

"You don't have to explain to me Morgana…" Gwen spoke lovingly over her shoulder, her russet hues glistening with affection for the sorceress. "I know what you mean…"

"But you _don't_-!"

Gwen was already out of Morgana's prison door just as Morgana began to speak, nodding to the captain of the guard (who had finally come to escort Morgana out for her punishment) with a look of pure loathing scorned onto her features.

The Captain of the Guard just grunted at Gwen's cold look, muttering under his breath as he kicked Morgana's prison door open to grab at Morgana's wrists before dragging the enchantress out by force.

"Ah, do you always treat your prisoners with such chivalry?" Morgana smirked, laughing even when the captain gripped her wrist tighter and pulled her more against his chest. "Do not tighten your grip so much on me, fool! For I can also tighten my own grip in a way never seen before!"

"Try witch and I'll behead you myself." The captain growled in Morgana's ears, silencing her laughter and instead placing a sullen expression on her face.

Gwen's words seemed to resound inside her head, causing a frown to come over her face at the truth behind them.

"…I shall go quietly then." Morgana whispered gently, nodding her head as she ducked her head so that the guard could push her through the low tunnel that would lead her out towards the center square where most of Camelot awaited to view her punishment.

Hardly any of them would actually know who was getting punished as it was a trend not to know, to be surprised if you like but as soon as she would walk out of the tunnel then it would be very obvious that the people of Camelot would know her immediately and even cheer for her punishment.

She could understand why even if she herself couldn't remember half of what she had done to the poor people of Camelot, all she knew was that her being a sorceress was a crime by itself so she would hate to know the other things she had been condemned of doing.

"Can I ask something of you?" Morgana asked the Captain quietly, a slim, faded frown crossing her features while she glanced over her shoulder at the Captain she was talking to.

"No, you cannot." The guard snapped back, pushing her forward with more haste; almost as if the Captain was _afraid_ of her even when he obviously had a firm grip on her.

"Would you not even hear a last request?" Morgana smirked wryly, knowing very well that this would hardly be her last request and hoping silently that this fool had heard differently.

It felt…Different. Now it did anyway. Now that she did not have Morgause's bracelet on her wrist, she felt entirely different almost as if someone had wiped her whole mind clear only to fill it with things of the present and not the past apart from certain things that Morgana didn't want to remember.

"Only if it was actually a last request." And Morgana can hear the smugness so much that she coughs at how overbearing it is.

"Ah, you see through me I see." Morgana whispered, looking edgily at the door that they were nearing which would most likely lead out to the courtyard where everyone would await her.

"You're very polite for a prisoner y'know?" The captain grunted, his observation making a sly smirk appear on Morgana's face for a moment before being wiped clear at the captain's chuckle.

"Most people call that fear."

Morgana shrugged her shoulders, hoping silently that she hadn't exposed the symbol on her arm to the captain. "Funny, politeness is normally called politeness where I come from."

In response, the captain growled once more and pushed Morgana forward with more haste than grace which caused Morgana to stumble - and laugh as she did so - a few times to the captain's annoyance.

They had reached the entrance. The door to her doom most likely. Or so Morgana believed even when she had been told the punishment was not death, it didn't matter anyways seeming as being flogged would probably _take_ her to her death a few days later. It depended on the amount of times they did it. She was guessing forty as it was traditional.

Another guard was waiting for them, his face pulled together in anger at seeing them both. "Finally decided to show up have you! The King has been waiting for a while, so long in fact that he told me to wait for you here! What took you so long?"

Morgana snorted. "The King? You say that word with so much respect when you know nothing of this man. The rightful King of Camelot is in fact Arthur Pendragon and it shall do you good to remember that."

And in reply to her overconfident words, the guard slapped her full across the face - the impact making Morgana's cheek burn and for her eyes to flash a gold colour in warning as her anger seemed to explode at the bottom of her stomach - her will the only thing making her stop using the magic she so desperately wanted to use to rip these guards to pieces.

But instead of doing that, Morgana glanced up with that conceited smirk she wore so well fully sketched on her face.

"This pain that you inflict on me may hurt me but the truth that stings your heart will hurt you more than you can imagine. Follow your false King and pray to god that he will spare you when you too fail him like the others who have died at his hand." The enchantress spat, her smirk wide and her laughter ringing through the empty corridor which they stood in.

The guard seemed to flush uncomfortably, causing the captain to also laugh. "And they say I'm too soft. Ignore the enchantress, King Arthur will put her in her place soon enough."

The added King Arthur only made Morgana smirk even more at the salt that had been added to the wound, the smirk only leaving when the guard actually unlocked the door to reveal the courtyard and sunlight to Morgana's eyes.

Then a roar of cheers and yells which was so loud that it actually caused Morgana to wince in pain, her eyes scrunched up in an added reflex to try and stop herself from hearing the shouting even if it was far too late for that now.

"And finally! The witch arrives!" Morgana heard Tristan call, his voice snide in such a way that Morgana knows that Tristan is alone with no Arthur by his side to stop him from saying such things about her. "Look at her now but fear her not! For she is now nothing but a weak, little whore!"

Despite the bubble at the bottom of her stomach that told her to curse Tristan down with her words of magic, Morgana kept her head down to avoid anything worse than being flogged…Like death.

Gwen had not brought shoes of any sort and so on her way to the stocks that would hold her down so she could be flogged, Morgana felt the sharpness of the gravel underneath her already sore feet; the enchantress already able to feel the grit that was starting to irritate her skin even more than it had before the night the guards had come to take her clothes off her and throw a nightdress on her instead.

And then before she could even reach the unbelievably large crowd that surrounded the castle, she was stopped by an old woman with a hood covering most of her face who had decided to stand in front of her.

"Oi! Get out of the way you old-" The captain started but the old woman cut across him by giving him (in Morgana's opinion anyway) the most deadliest glare she'd ever seen in her whole life.

Then she turned back to Morgana again, her expression unreadable even as she studied Morgana's face with cerulean blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." The old woman croaked, bending down to take off her own shoes before placing them in front of Morgana - her hand gesturing towards them as if to tell Morgana to place them on her feet.

The enchantress glanced down at the worn old shoes, a genuinely sad smile on her red, chapped lips. "I can't accept this…I don't deserve to accept this."

"I could do no less for my mistress…" The old woman grinned, showing crooked teeth as she turned away from Morgana to hobble away from the courtyard.

Morgana watched her go in awe, delight striking her senses and making her body shut down to go into an area that she could only describe as dumbness; her almighty control to keep her lips from pressing into a smirk making her lose concentration on the current situation.

'_Oh Alice…' _Morgana smiled sweetly at the retreating back of the old woman, slipping her feet into the shoes left for her before being pulled away by the captain of the guard once more to face her fate.

The crowd parted as she made her way through the courtyard with her head still down, their muttering and hissing only making Morgana become more flushed in embarrassment and fury. Never had she imagined that she would be the one to be punished in Camelot, no…She had never imagined it at all. She had always been told to come watch punishments and executions when she was a ward of Uther and of course she had declined but to be the one up for punishment…Her face didn't seem to want to stop burning in shame.

Gasps came from women and men alike, even some of the women (from what Morgana could see from the corner of her eye) were hiding their children away from her by shielding them behind their backs, their eyes full of fear that Morgana had seen many times before.

"_Don't let her look at you."_

Morgana couldn't help but turn her head in the direction of the voice, her eyes wide and questioning to see a young noble woman who she recognized from when she was Uther's ward.

Lady Clarice stared back at her, her hand protecting her boy's face from her apparently evil gaze - this action making Morgana gaze gently at Clarice in what she hoped to be a look of comfort towards her child at being at such an event. Obviously Clarice had only come to see if the rumours were true, to see if her used-to-be enemy was going to get punished for so many crimes…So many that she couldn't even remember doing.

"No staring churl." The captain growled, pushing her forever some more so that she staggered through the crowd - her wrong footsteps parting the crowd as she slipped and stumbled towards the blocks of wood and stone that awaited her.

"Next it will be rude to breathe in a general direction." Morgana spat back, the rough pressing on her arm making her wince at how hard the captain was actually grabbing her.

"If removing her tongue from her mouth is the only way to silence her, then do so Captain!" Tristan yelled down from the balcony which he stood on, his eyes glancing sideways to look at the balcony next to him where Arthur (the future King) and his manservant watched from above with displeasure on their faces.

Morgana remained silent, picking her feet up over pieces of rubble that lay on the floor before taking a turn to her right to face the blocks of stone and wood where ropes lay on either side with little hooks attached to the ends.

To be honest, Morgana was fairly casual about the whole thing, getting flogged was better than death (though she doubted she'd hardly be able to stand after being flogged for forty times) in her opinion…

But that was until she saw who was directly in front of her - behind the stone and the wood with wide, unblinking eyes that showed so much fear and compassion for her that it made Morgana gasp at the sight of her.

'_Gwen…' _Morgana scrunched her eyes up to make her lose sight of Guinevere, the only thing that seemed to be keeping her upright at the moment when everything else around her screamed to make her fall.

And then of course, Morgana was forced to open them again to see Gwen's terrified face with all its beautiful glory; said beauty making Morgana bend over slightly so that the other guards around her and the captain rushed forwards to place her head and shoulders in the stocks.

"Eager witch?" Tristan yelled down at her, his words making Morgana's shoulders tense terribly in anger and pure rage.

And then. "Forty lashes."

Morgana didn't flinch at the verdict, her eyes refusing to stay on Gwen any longer as she simply gazed around the whole area of Camelot that her eyes could muster to look at - half of her actually looking for Merlin and Arthur while another part of her just simply wished not to see Gwen's pain when the hooks pierced her skin and ripped away the flesh to let her blood sink down the streets of Camelot.

"Gwen…Come."

Morgana glanced up at the strong, familiar, sincere voice she hadn't heard for about a month since departing from Gwen's house just before the bards of Tintagel arrived in Camelot.

Gaius was trying to guide Gwen away from the courtyard, his old grey eyes focusing on her willow ones for a moment before straying back to Gwen's. "Gwen…Please, surely you don't want to watch this?"

Gwen shook her head, her lower lip snared between her teeth. "No…I don't…But I must."

"You put yourself through unnecessary pain." Gaius whispered to the dark-skinned maidservant, the worry in his voice clear even to the anxious enchantress who awaited the piercing of the hooks.

"I do so out of love…" Gwen replied back, her voice fierce even though her expression betrayed her completely.

In spite of the situation, Morgana gave the still watchful Gwen a strained smile that held absolutely nothing but horror (which was not for herself) for the maidservant in front of her.

"Undress her back." Tristan commanded coldly, pointing at the captain who stood beside Morgana.

The captain nodded, bringing out what looked to be a cheese knife and then without further ado, sliced Morgana's ragged dress through the middle - making the torn dress fall down to her hips to reveal the hidden tattoo of magic which made Tristan's eyes sparkle with delight.

Gwen's response however was the absolute opposite.

She turned her face away in disgust, this disgust making Gaius shake his head shamefully in Tristan's direction as the physician too felt Gwen's disgust and his own radiate off them like a light in the dark.

To punish Morgana without a fair trial was one thing. But to dress her up just to reveal her body to the whole of Camelot? This was the work of a false King, not a hero who deserved to a be King.

"What they're doing to her…" Morgana heard Gwen whimper helplessly, imagining the maidservant falling into Gaius's protective father-like arms. "Is _evil_…"

"I know my dear…I know…" Gaius's words were soothing but not needed seeming as they didn't really do anything to calm _her_ down.

Though she didn't really think Gaius said those words for her benefits either.

"Begin!"

Morgana's eyes (which had been clenched shut) flew open as the hooks penetrated her skin, the sharp needles pushing her skin downwards to let blood spurt out in every direction possible; most likely spraying some of the crowd with the hard impact of the hooks.

She did not scream but simply moaned in protest of the pain that coursed through her body, shuddering when the hooks were simply lifted up from out of her back and down onto her once again with much harsher force than before.

The blood spurted once more, the crimson liquid running down Morgana's like a waterfall, just to drip down her ankles.

"_Morgana!" _The enchantress heard Gwen cry out, her cry making Morgana's eyes water in absolute guilt and fury - the mix making Morgana fall to her knees while the pain just seemed to get worse and worse.

"Gwen no!" Gaius cried and Morgana looked up just in time to see that Gwen was being held back, her arms stretching out in vain to try and reach her, to try and save her in a way.

"_Please _stop it!" Gwen cried out again; the enchantress watching in anguish as her old maidservant seemed to collapse in Gaius's arms with tears streaking down her face.

And funnily enough, Tristan didn't even comment on Gwen's obvious screams and pain…In fact, he seemed to revel in it.

"Make her stand!" He cried out to the captain, the wicked glint in his eye causing many of the people to shiver at the tyranny that seemed to be transparent in his very existence. "And for every time she falls…Another ten lashes to be added."

Morgana grunted as she felt herself be lifted up again, hearing rather than seeing the captain swing the rope around his head before bringing it down full force once more against her back as well as using another rope to slice at her back as he, the captain of the guard, did so.

The enchantress writhed in pain, her body arching and slumping in multiple movements in a worthless attempt to try and work the pain out of her body without damaging it even more.

"_Stop_…" Morgana pleaded, her fingernails scratching into the wood that held her prisoner like a caged animal. To think she hadn't been afraid of this pain was remarkably insane of her. Who would be stupid enough to actually think that they'd be able to handle so much pain?

"This enchantress is the one who terrorized your homes! The one who killed your children in their sleep! The one who slaughters innocents just to learn more of their wicked power! Magic!"

The hooks came down on her again, causing Morgana to once more fall down to her knees.

"_M-Morgana!"_

And Tristan watched on, a senile old smile on his face.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

Arthur watched on, his teeth clenched together and his fingers slowly curling together to form a fist of absolute vengeance.

Tristan was a _liar_. And what upset Arthur the most was that he had believed him in the first place.

"_M-Morgana!" _

Arthur sighed, brow creasing and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose to stop himself from screaming soullessly at the men that might as well be beating Morgana to death due to how much pain they were actually putting her through.

And then a hand grasped his arm, pulling him away from the darkness at hand to see that his manservant was staring at him with worried, teary eyes that Arthur saw every time Merlin left the room of his bedchambers, half naked.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered, genuinely concerned for his manservant at seeing the state he was in and without realizing what he was doing, the Prince of Camelot quickly pressed a warm hand to his manservant's own before pulling away just as quickly. "Merlin…What's wrong?"

Well what a stupid question to ask! Arthur almost hit himself at the stupidity of his question.

"I mean…I know what-"

"I can't…" Merlin looked away from the courtyard, his light blue eyes shut in repugnance as he did so. "I can't watch what they're doing to Morgana. To them both."

Arthur glanced back down at the courtyard below and then back at his manservant, something about his expression making Merlin want to do nothing but hug Arthur like his life depended on it.

"I'll be back." Arthur said all of a sudden, giving Merlin a hasty one-armed hug before rushing out of the balcony and back into the castle - leaving a slightly awe-struck Merlin behind.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

"Stop for a moment…" Tristan spoke down towards his people, holding his hand up in the air to pause the strikes of the hooks that rained down on Morgana's already bloody back.

Morgana growled under her breath, the unbearable throbbing seemed to spread like wildfire all over her back - the furious pain there making the enchantress slump her head forward.

"Sire?" The captain shouted up, his hands feeling bruised at the amount of times he had brought down the rope on Morgana's back. "What is it that you request?"

Tristan glanced down at the courtyard again in thought, admiring the scene of the pools of blood that seemed to rush down the gravel and cobbles of the courtyard; startling people into silence.

"Give the rope to someone in the crowd. Anyone who wishes to do so must make themselves known. Pick one and make them do the rest of the counts." Tristan ordered, a twist of satisfaction making his brow crease.

The King watched intently as the dark-skinned maidservant lurched forward, her hands up in the air as if she was trying to catch him in her grip. Her yells of Morgana's name making his ears start to twitch.

"Tristan!" An adviser had appeared by Tristan's side as the yells of the crowd started to fill the air, his matted shaggy beard covering most of his face as he stared up beadily at the chuckling Tristan. "What you are doing to punish this sorceress is correct but to let someone of the crowd do it? They'll kill her!"

"Yes I know." Tristan nodded in answer, the smug look on his face enough to make the adviser next to him shudder. "And if that happens, then I shall be far from Camelot by then…Besides it is time for me to return to Tintagel."

The adviser was about to respond but of course his speech was cut off by the yells and cheers from the citizens below them, their cheers turning into screams as a small group of people lunged forward towards the captain to get the rope off him.

However the rest of Camelot remained still, their faces half shocked while others looked up at Tristan in fear rather than in respect, adults covering children's eyes with their hands as Tristan stared down at them all in such blind hate that he proclaimed was in fact love.

Morgana watched the citizens roll around each other to grasp onto the rope that had pretty much ripped open her back, her eyes rolling slightly at the complete, pathetic attempts of each citizen who so desperately tried to grip onto the worn, ragged thing as if their life depended on it.

The captain growled, kicking all of the citizens away from him as he did a little twirl to try and keep the oncoming crowd from coming at him like a storm of beasts.

"Wait!" Arthur's voice called out all of a sudden from the crowd, his muscular form weaving through the bodies that blocked the captain and the 'King' away from each other with such sublime grace that the captain had to blink a few times to get his senses back into gear to look properly at such a high presence.

"Wait!" Arthur shouted again, taking the rope from the captain with quick hands and then racing over to stand on the stone slab just beside Morgana's head with his arms crossed in such a princely look that immediately everyone let their eyes fall on him.

"No more!" Arthur cried out, turning around in every direction to glare at the still approaching men and women who were out to ravage Morgana even more than she already was.

"How do you know what this woman has done? How many of you have been punished by this woman?" Arthur yelled, turning around in a circle so that his striking blue eyes could clash against the crowd in fierce shades of cerulean fire. "Tell me!"

A man stuck his hand up. "This woman stole my lifesavings! My family has managed to get by but we still find it hard to live in Camelot!"

Arthur let a long finger point at the man. "Then tell me sir, why do you wear such fine clothes on such a dreary day!"

The man looked down, his face suddenly red in shame as if he was a thief caught red-handed.

"Is there anyone else who has something to say against this woman? Someone who has not been paid by that tyrant of a King?" Arthur yelled, jumping down from the two slabs of stone to once again gaze around at the silent crowd.

Some gasped, some cheered while some stuck their hands up…Either way, Arthur ignored them all.

"Remove the ropes." He ordered the Captain with a tight grimace, wrapping the ropes that carried the hooks on around his knuckles to stop any fool who was daft enough to try and rip them from his hands.

Then the new King of Camelot looked directly at the now calm Guinevere, his hand instinctively reaching for her while the other hand gripped harder on the rope wrapped around his knuckles - punishing himself for what he had let Morgana had done to her even though she herself did not deserve it.

Guinevere took his hand almost as if she was playing along with his exterior show but of course not because as soon as Guinevere touched his hand, she was striding hastily over to the crouched Morgana - her dress now even more ragged than before with tips and tears where the whip had hit and slashed against the fabric - to help the Captain get rid of the tight ropes that held Morgana.

Arthur nodded in approval at their actions before turning once more to the quiet physician, his blue eyes studying Gaius's face for a moment before gesturing for the physician to go to Morgana. "She'll need to stay in your care for a while, Gaius."

Arthur glanced behind his shoulder at the slumped over Morgana, her ivory skinned arms draped over Gwen's neck in a vain attempt to try and recompose herself so that she wouldn't fall.

"Make sure she gets well…" And then, just to show his people that he wasn't any pushover, said. "Then we'll think of her atonement properly and I shall decide as the new King of Camelot."

He nodded at the crowds surrounding him, ducking his head through one of Morgana's draped arms that had managed to fall off Gwen and proceeded (along with Gaius who made sure her dress didn't fall off) to drag Morgana back to the physicians home and workplace.

The blonde King could feel Tristan's eyes on him, burning into the back of his head and he could also hear the cheers and yells that were being directed at Tristan as the false King took his turn to leave Camelot.

And never return.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

"Lay her down here Gwen." Gaius told the maidservant softly, nodding his greeting to Merlin who had been waiting anxiously ever since Arthur had told him that he'd see him later.

Gwen grunted as she shifted Morgana's weight onto a make-shift bed that was covered in thousands of white linens fit for a King, her right arm moving under Morgana's back to help Arthur lift Morgana up onto the bed - which was incredibly hard seeming as due to the harsh beating she had received, Morgana was pretty much a deadweight.

"Ugh." Arthur groaned, straightening up to try and get rid of the pain in his back once he pretty much dumped Morgana onto the piles of sheets.

"Back hurting Sire?" Merlin said with an arched eyebrow in an attempt to lighten the mood after the terrible situation that had happened. "Already feeling old?"

In response Arthur scowled. "Shut up Merlin and go get some bandages." And then Arthur dumped himself on a nearby chair, truly exhausted with all the stress and carrying Morgana a good way to get to Gaius's home.

Gwen sat by Morgana's side as Merlin did this, her hands curling around Morgana's own while the sorceress beneath her started to twitch and moan; an obvious fever starting to overwhelm her already.

"Turn her over onto her back." Gaius ordered gently, his hands soaked with something Gwen did not know or recognize but she did not use to this moment to hesitate and did what Gaius asked - even if hearing Morgana's little screams hurt her more than anything she had ever felt before.

"I'd leave Gaius to do his work for now Guinevere…" Gwen heard Arthur murmur behind her yet she did not have the power to move herself…Her eyes could look no where but the horrendous scars and wounds that been imprinted on Morgana's ivory skin in a terrible attempt to punish her for something that she could not control. For something that she didn't even do.

Because she fell in love with another woman. Because she was a sorceress. Because she was a liar and a traitor.

The last Gwen wasn't even sure if she was correct on that but the first…Morgana wasn't in love with her, Tristan had got it wrong and Morgana had defended her honour by saying it was her who had been the one to fall deeply in love.

Gwen choked back a sob, eyes watering at the red slits that were scattered around Morgana's back. Part of this…Part of this was all _her _fault!

Recognizing the sound instantly (because Gaius had comforted Gwen through the first year of crying in her sleep) Gaius turned away from seeing to Morgana's back and immediately took Gwen into his arms.

Gwen rested her head against the physician's shoulder as she sobbed harsh, wet tears at the sight of Morgana's poor, lifeless-looking body that had to withstand so much pain that if it wasn't for Arthur's interference it would still be probably be in more pain than it was in right now.

"Shh, shh…No more tears my dear girl…" Gaius soothed, rubbing Gwen's back to try and calm the maidservant down enough so that he'd be able to do his job properly with no worries on his mind. "She'll be fine, now don't you-"

"_She wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for me!" _Gwen half screamed, half growled into Gaius's shoulder; eyes clenched shut to try and stop the tears that were attempting to spill and run down her cheeks.

Gaius looked over at the King of Camelot in worry, his grey eyes telling Arthur his worries and what Arthur should do so that his worries wouldn't become a ferocious reality.

Arthur stood up from his seat, his arms open wide to embrace the young woman from behind to pull her against him, his hold strong even when she tried to clutch at Gaius's robe to break free from his grip.

"This isn't your fault…" Arthur whispered quietly, digging his face into the whimpering Gwen's hair to try and hide his own watery eyes away from the rest of the world that were keeping a close eye on him…Waiting for him to mess up. "This isn't your fault at all."

Despite the fact that Gwen was literally tearing at his skin to get towards Morgana, Arthur kept his hold firm, so firm in fact that he felt Gwen flinch when he pressed her tighter towards his chest - the only way of keeping Gwen back long enough so that Gaius could continue with his work of getting Morgana better.

Morgana hurt Gwen so much. Too much. For three whole years it was like living and talking to a soulless vessel. Nothing. For three years.

But if Morgana _died_…?

Arthur bit his lip to stop himself from breaking down into Gwen's fine hair, his mind rushing through memories and the possible future that he has had dreams about ever since Morgana left Camelot.

Gaius was kneeling down next to the enchantress now, his hands coated in distasteful-looking green slime which he massaged into Morgana's wounds - the reaction being that the enchantress cried out in pain, her fingers digging into the sheets underneath her to try and distract her from the excruciating amount of pain she was in.

"Merlin! Where are you with those bandages?" Gaius yelled over his shoulder, slightly noticing that Gwen had calmed down so that she was now fisting her fingers together in a way to restrain herself.

"I'm coming! Hold on!" Merlin yelled back, followed by a loud crash that made Arthur let go of Gwen instantly.

"I'll go get them." Arthur told Gaius with a stiff nod, giving Gwen a worried glance before striding over to where the crash and Merlin's groans had resounded from the box room that was Gaius's storage.

This left Gwen and Gaius alone which just made Gaius's worry intensify more than anyone could believe.

"You can sit by her if you want Gwen." However, this did not mean that Gaius was worried enough to banish Gwen to the far side of the room where he hoped she'd be calmer. "She's awake and she'll most likely be more calmer with you by her."

Gwen remained rooted to the spot, unable to get words out of her dry throat to try and make some sense - she couldn't if she tried anyway, so she didn't.

How was she supposed to sit by Morgana's side as the enchantress whimpered and whined in agony? How was she supposed to steel herself to do that? How was anyone supposed to steel themselves against that?

"Where are those two with them bandages?" And without any warning, Gaius pushed past Gwen to stalk into the overcrowded storeroom where Merlin and Arthur was taking their time.

This meant leaving Gwen alone with a shuddering Morgana who looked like she was about to roll off the edge of her makeshift bed if someone didn't support her soon, meaning that Gwen would have to be that person.

With a sigh, Gwen perched herself behind Morgana so that her hands rested on Morgana's back; her callous fingers caressing the scars and deep wounds that had been created by the harsh steel of the hooks that had dug into Morgana's porcelain, refined back.

Morgana hissed in response to Gwen's touch, shuddering underneath the girl's touch so blatantly that Gwen couldn't help but rest her nose against the curve of Morgana's back; causing the enchantress to growl softly at such a subtle touch.

"I'm sorry…" Gwen mumbled her apology against Morgana's damaged skin, eyes shut in fear of letting water spill down Morgana's back. "I'm so, _so_ sorry…"

This time the growl is louder and angrier, making Gwen second-guess her speech and to wonder what Morgana's actions actually meant.

"For getting you into this…" Gwen continued to mutter against Morgana's back, ignoring the fact that Morgana had stiffened underneath her. Ignoring the fact that Morgana would still probably be in this mess without her anyways.

Ignoring the fact that no matter how much Gwen loved her…After this…She would have to let Morgana go.

But it wasn't that easy. Not when seeing how vulnerable the enchantress actually looked against the blood-stained sheets that was protecting her dignity from the rest of the world if anyone came to 'visit'.

Morgana shuddered involuntarily. Almost as if the enchantress could tell what Gwen was thinking and was trying to comfort her in her own way, a way that allowed Gwen to see that she felt Gwen's pain; she felt it and wanted to help relieve it so that Gwen wouldn't hurt anymore.

"I don't know if I…" Gwen bit her lip to stop herself from saying anymore. There was no point in saying anymore yet she felt as if she needed to let Morgana know that the state the enchantress in terrified her more than Morgana could even begin to imagine.

"I don't know If I can survive without you." Gwen spoke without a stammer and instead with a strong, definite voice that made her ears ring in shock at the tone she had managed to keep within her voice.

"And I don't know if I want to _try_ and survive without you."

"Don't say that you ridiculous girl." Morgana suddenly spoke, startling Gwen into silence.

The pain in her voice was clear. And that pain caused Gwen more pain that she could imagine.

The maidservant sunk her head lower into Morgana's back, whimpering sharply at Morgana's intake of breath at the touch.

"Stop hurting. And I promise that I'll stop." Morgana spoke once again with her aggrieved voice; her lower back trembling and her porcelain digits curling around the soft fabric of the linens underneath her.

"I-I can't…!" Gwen gasped against Morgana's back, teeth catching Morgana's skin gently which caused the sorceress to also let out a gasp. "Every time I look at you I feel as if my heart is going to burst and my hands get all sweaty and…and…"

Morgana let Gwen rant on, already knowing that this was usual of Gwen to do. Even when Gwen had been her maidservant she had ranted like this all the time when she got nervous or felt as if she had done something wrong to upset someone. Morgana had found it to be a cute habit. An annoying habit. But a cute one as well.

It may be cute…However that doesn't mean Morgana wants to listen to Gwen berate herself over something that wasn't her fault and even if it was - something that she couldn't control.

Straining herself to do something that would most likely cause her more pain was something that Morgana had willed herself to do before stretching her hand out to grasp Gwen's clenched fist that sat in her lap still.

The enchantress let her porcelain fingers explore the holes that Gwen had left open so that long fingers could enter to feel her palm, nails stroking Gwen's dark skin gently in an act of comfort.

It hurt. In fact it made Morgana want to crawl in a hole and die by how much pain it brought onto her but she found herself not caring anymore of the pain once seeing how her touch had calmed Gwen down; had made her still and her breathing even with no words needed.

Apart from these. "I'm sorry."

Morgana felt Gwen become rigid against her and was almost fearful that Gwen would pull away; breaking the comfort that had washed over them by her loud, confused gestures and actions.

"What _for_?" Gwen whispered across Morgana's back, smiling slightly at the goose bumps that her voice developed on Morgana's delicate, porcelain back.

"Do I _have_ to be sorry for a reason?" Morgana replied quietly, willow hues flickering sideways to meet with Gwen's glazed over hazel in an attempt to try and get Gwen to change the subject or say something that Morgana could add onto without looking like a complete fool.

"In the normal world, yes. I believe you do." Gwen flicked her own fingers across Morgana's knuckle, making the enchantress growl slightly under her breath.

"I'm sorry for causing you unnecessary pain." Morgana responded in a hoarse whisper, her free hand clenching at the linens underneath her. "Pain that you…That you didn't deserve."

"Does anyone deserve pain?" Gwen can't help herself after that. She know well that it hurt Morgana to admit that Gwen was in pain and she knows that it hurt Morgana to admit she had been the one to cause the said pain for three whole years.

"Only as atonement." Morgana answered straight away, shifting her head slightly so that she was now looking at Gwen directly without having to strain her eyesight to see Gwen completely.

"You would wish that on someone?" Gwen moved her face away from Morgana's back and instead let her hands trail up and down the muscular structure. She let her nails stroke and tease at the skin tenderly. "Someone you loved?"

Morgana's eyes dimmed slightly at Gwen's choice of words. The fire in them gone and all that was left was a big hollow _nothing_.

"No. Of course not." A bitter chuckle that didn't sound right left Morgana's lips. "I'm starting to sound like Tristan…"

"You're nothing like Tristan." Gwen cut through Morgana's thoughts like her own voice was a blade, slicing and hacking away at the thought until that was the only thing left. A thought. A memory that held no meaning.

"So much faith…" Morgana murmured wearily, eyes fluttering closed for a moment before slamming wide open once more.

Gwen bit her lip to stop herself from taking Morgana's face into her hands and cradling her until she fell asleep - which would most likely not be a good thing seeming as Morgana still had to get bandages wrapped around her - in a heavenly slumber that would get rid of the anger and hate that Camelot held for the enchantress.

"Aha! Bandages!"

Both Morgana and Gwen jumped, both turning red and both glancing over to see that all three men had returned with bandages and red faces - these red faces being Arthur and Merlin.

"Ah! Awake m'dear?" Gaius cried out, grabbing the bandages off Merlin and Arthur with a scowl on his face (clearly making Gwen scowl as well for she knew by how red they had gotten what _they_ were doing in that _small_, tiny cupboard) to proceed to cross the room to perch next to Gwen.

"Gaius…" Morgana murmured hesitantly as if she had forgotten everything about Gaius and now all memories were rushing back in a whirlwind of emotions.

Possibly. Gwen wouldn't doubt it.

Gaius doesn't answer the enchantress and instead glances at Gwen in way that shows how uncomfortable he is for a reason Gwen cannot comprehend by simply looking at the old physician.

"I'm normally not one to ask this sort of question Gwen but…" Gaius's eyes flicker over to Morgana's almost naked body and the bandages in his hands…And finally Gwen gets what her friend is talking about.

"Uh…" Gwen cannot believe that Gaius is asking her to do this. Did he not realize that she had hormones A LOT stronger than his? Wait, did Gaius have any hormones anymore?

Gwen didn't actually want to know the answer to her own question so she quickly kicked that thought aside.

Flushed, embarrassed and stumbling over her own words; Gwen found it in her somewhere to nod like a complete idiot as she took the bandages away from Gaius's hands to glare forcefully at the two red-faced men behind her.

'_You put Gaius up to this you two complete morons.' _Sure they couldn't hear her but Gwen hoped her glare had given them the message.

"We'll just turn our backs shall we?" Arthur cried out enthusiastically, slapping Merlin on the back to get his manservant to turn around with him.

And of course, Gaius followed their acts shamelessly.

Gwen cleared her throat, drawing Morgana's gaze to her and immediately that cocky (sleepy) smile seemed to appear on her expression.

"I need you to sit up Morgana." Gwen whispers throatily, wondering if she looks like a tomato and silently pondering if Morgana has noticed this.

Not likely seeming as it most likely hurts for Morgana to move and she looks so tired that if Gwen didn't start talking to her again she'd most likely fall asleep.

"I can't. My back hurts." Morgana whines into her linens, drowsiness making her irritated easily in such an adorable way that Gwen cannot help but let a hand curve around Morgana's hip.

"Then it looks like I'll have to make you." Gwen says with a faint sigh, smiling softly at the whine that escaped Morgana instantly when Gwen pulled her up from the curve of her hip so she was in a sitting position.

Gwen ignores Morgana's bare chest and _everything else _that is bare for her and instead decides to unravel the bandages in her hands so that she can actually get to work and then get out of there as fast as she can.

Morgana is drunk off sleep which isn't good because that means she needs to be propped up against Gwen's body which also isn't good because Gwen doesn't want to risk temptation, that and the desirable smell that seems to clutch at Morgana's very flesh.

She tears the cloth with her bare fingers and starts to wrap it around Morgana's abdomen with haste that isn't natural for someone who is supposedly 'calm' and in control; then when she is done with that bandage, she starts with another - this one going just above Morgana's breasts.

"Don't look Merlin!" And then a loud force of someone being slapped over the head which caused Gwen to roll her eyes.

Gwen proceeds to keep doing this until almost all of Morgana's chest and stomach is covered (that is where most of the wounds are anyway) and only stops when Gwen is perfectly sure that Morgana won't bleed on the linens anymore unless the blood soaks through the bandages - which she doubts will happen.

"It's safe." Gwen calls over her shoulder with a small smile to see that the two men behind her have taken their time being silent by punching each other occasionally while cursing at each other.

Both Merlin and Arthur spin around, eyes wide at the droopy Morgana that is practically drooling all over Gwen's shoulder because of how tired she actually is.

Gaius also turns back around yet his surprise of Morgana being asleep does not last as long as Merlin's or Arthur's; instead the old physician just places a frail hand on Morgana's forehead and lays her back down - but not before removing the bloodied linens so Morgana won't wake up thinking she's in a nightmare.

"Sleep now…" Gwen hears Gaius murmur as she stands up, eyes crinkling with affection at the display that is a sleeping Morgana with her hands clenched tightly together as if she is praying.

"Her nightmares?" Merlin interrupts Gwen's thoughts with his simple yet very important question.

Gaius shrugs in response and taps his nose. "We'll just have to wait and see. For now it is best everyone leaves Morgana to rest." The old man turns to face Arthur with a serious look on his face. "You have matters to attend to my King, I hope you won't be running away from your duties already."

At this Arthur's face hardens into a look of pure importance that makes Gaius arch his famous questioning eye brows.

"Of course not! I merely came to see if Morgana was alright." The new King of Camelot then glared at Merlin. "Then some idiot distracted me."

Merlin stuck out his tongue at the King. "Some idiot should mind where he puts his hands when I'm looking for bandages."

"I thought you WERE the bandages!" Arthur growled back, pointing an index finger at his manservant.

"How on earth does my…Equipment feel like bandages?" Merlin retorted, his face a furious red colour.

Gwen watches both the King of Camelot and his manservant argue and feels a sort of wave of content wash over her at the sight.

It just went to show that love could be found in the funniest of places…In the funniest of people.

She snorted to herself.

That was if Merlin and Arthur _were_ in love. And it wasn't even her business if they were as long as they didn't make too much noise whenever she was visiting the castle then she would be fine with their relationship.

Their relationship gave her _hope_.

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

Gwen knows it isn't very wise to go and swim naked in the lake when the moon is just starting to rise but she's doing this for a very good reason alright?

The water cleans her from tears, sweat and blood that Morgana had managed to spill on her when she was placing bandages around her body. The blood belongs to Morgana obviously and so does the sweat.

But the tears…

**   
**

* * *

**  
**

Morgana wakes up next morning to see something very…Unusual. Unusual because she hasn't seen these sort of things (not specifically for her) in three whole years.

Flowers. Water lilies. Green, blue and red. Their petals still sparkling with the water that they had been plucked from.

She turns her head to see Gaius staring down at her with his owl-like eyes that makes her start for a moment then settling back down at his warm smile.

"Who are they-?" Morgana begins until Gaius waves her sentence away with an even more compassionate smile that makes Morgana slump back down into her make-shift bed.

"Gwen brought them earlier this morning. She felt you needed a proper…Welcome shall we say?"

The smile hurts her face but Morgana doesn't care at all, doesn't care that her face is hurting, doesn't care that the sun is shining in her eyes because these just aren't flowers anymore…

They're flowers off _Gwen_. And her heart is ready to burst in a strange wave of happiness.

Things won't be alright of course. Morgause is still out there. And is most likely worried and suspicious at her long absence though at that moment, at that very moment…

Morgana had bigger things to think about. Morgause's plans were still fresh and Morgana was still bitter. She knew the extent of her magical powers now and maybe…Maybe she didn't even need Morgause anymore.

"Now all you have to do m'dear is work for your atonement." Gaius spoke up all of a sudden, his spectacles almost dropping off the end of his nose as he peered more closely at her with something that made Morgana's stomach clench in discomfort.

"Work? How will that bring someone who I've killed back to life?" Morgana responds sternly, thoughts of Gwen and the water lilies vanishing.

Gaius doesn't look startled or even hurt by Morgana's tone of voice and instead smiles patiently. "Of course not. But…" The physician places a cold hand to Morgana's forehead, checking her temperature. "It's a start."

Despite herself, Morgana snorted and glanced once more at the water lilies resting at her bedside with childish curiosity that made her hues sparkle.

"When will I-?" Morgana doesn't have to finish her sentence for Gaius to understand and cuts herself off in eagerness to know Gaius's answer.

"When your wounds are healed properly so that you won't catch anything once you go back into the dungeons." Gaius explains, removing his hand from Morgana's forehead to dip said hand into some green salve mixture that Morgana has never seen before in her life.

Morgana sighs and turns over onto her side, exposing her bandaged back to the physician.

* * *

"How about this one?" Merlin held up a purple tunic and presses it against his body to try his hardest to show off his 'muscles' that he had been trying hard to develop over the past months.

Gwen tilted her head to the side to regard the purple fabric and instantly shook her head. "Purple isn't your colour, sorry Merlin. It's more of Morgana's colour."

Merlin nods wearily, throwing the tunic over his shoulder and instead turns to pick up the green tunic to hold it against his chest.

And once again, Gwen shakes her head. "Nope. That's Morgana's colour too." Said answer making Merlin sigh in frustration.

"Isn't there any colour that isn't Morgana's colour?" Merlin asks with honest aggravation, scavenging through his tunics in search of the right colour that would help him with his 'wooing' of Arthur.

It was Gwen's plan after all so if this failed miserably it wasn't his fault, right?

"Brown?" Gwen gestured to the brown tunic Merlin almost always wore with a faint grin - this grin causing Merlin to pout out his lower lip.

"Gwen! You aren't helping me at all!" Merlin complained, lifting up five different coloured tunics and glaring evilly at his best friend behind them.

Gwen sighed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she proceeded to cross her house and pick out a navy blue tunic that matched Merlin's eyes along with a silver-coloured scarf which she wrapped around him with a gentle, loving smile.

"There. Now Arthur won't be able to keep his hands off you." And with that, Gwen leaned up to brush a kiss against Merlin's forehead.

Merlin blushed, shaking his head vigorously with a coy grin stitched on his expression that seemed to scream embarrassment from such general affection. This affection coming from Gwen of all people.

"I'm not even sure if that's a bad thing or not." Merlin chuckled, grasping Gwen into a tight hug that made both him and Gwen shudder at the force of his arms around her lithe body.

"Merlin." Gwen said seriously (though the glint of playfulness just couldn't seem to leave her eyes) with her hands on either side of Merlin's shoulders. "That _is_ a good thing. Remember that."

Merlin nodded, eyes lighting up along with his bright smile. "And you wonder why I come to you for advice all the time?"

"Because I was the descendant of Cupid?" Gwen hinted with a cocky grin that seemed to match Morgana's own - this making Merlin startled at the similarity between Gwen and the enchantress.

"Then go help your own love life." Merlin smirks, bobbing out his tongue at his friend who has surprisingly still got that sweet smile on her face despite the mention of her 'relationship' with Morgana.

And just before Gwen can come back with a famous witty reply that she had been saving just for this occasion; a loud, hard knock resounds through her house - drowning out the splashes of the rain beating hard against the muddy paths outside.

Both Merlin and Gwen looked at each other, faces pulled together in pure confusion at such a request. Yes it may be in the afternoon (despite the dark blue sky saying otherwise) but to venture out in this weather just to speak to her? It was rather ridiculous.

"I'll get it." Merlin volunteers with a boyish grin, turning to rush towards Gwen's front door to pull the wood away to reveal their visitor.

His hair has gotten darker - if that is possible - and his skin is covered head-to-toe in something that suspiciously looks like mud mixed with drips and drops of blood that has made his face look like a battleground.

The coal eyes are still as dark and tormenting as they were the first time Gwen ever laid eyes on them and his features were just as good-looking as Gwen had thought the first time she had kissed his lips…How soft they were…How they made her toes curl but her heart throb angrily.

"Guinevere…" His eyes only have to clasp on her and Gwen's throat suddenly feels extremely dry.

"La-!" Merlin starts until the man stumbles and collapses in the manservant's arms with a grunt that brings Merlin to his knees at such weight due to the armour that his old friend wore.

This is when Gwen snaps out of it and rushes to Merlin's side, her hands already pushing away Lancelot's sweaty hair and her eyes scanning his face for any side of paralysation or confusion that could make Lancelot violent if he woke up.

_Throb_.

It's hurting again. It's throbbing again but Gwen knows why this time.

She loves Morgana (she swears on _everything_ she has possession of that she _loves_ Morgana more than anything worth mentioning or having in the world) but seeing Lancelot again has brought up memories of desire that made her stomach twist and for her cheeks to burn with lust.

She loves _Morgana_ more than anything she could even imagine. Morgana is her life. The thing that is keeping her breathing. Lancelot…Lancelot was a desire that she no longer wanted.

She _swears_ it.

* * *

_Stupid fucking Lancelot. I mean I wrote him in the god damn story but screw him for appearing. :x_

But aha. Hope you enjoy.


	7. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title: The Beginning  
> ** **Chapter Type: Plot  
> ** **TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
> ** **Rating: T - M  
> ** **Chapter Rating: M for sexual themes  
> ** **Summary: Morgana remembers what she left behind in Camelot and though she thinks she'll never be able to return to it, her feelings for Gwen says different. Desire or Duty? Gwen or Morgause? Can she choose without losing someone she loves? M/G, A/M  
> ** **Chapter Summary: Arthur's coronation proceeds and many things start to change between Morgana and Gwen at the true intention of Morgause.  
> ** **Genre: Angst/Romance**

**Title: The Beginning  
**   
**Chapter Type: Plot  
**   
**TV Show/Game/Movie/Anime: BBC's Merlin (TV)  
**   
**Rating: T - M  
**   
**Chapter Rating: M for sexual themes  
**   
**Summary: Morgana remembers what she left behind in Camelot and though she thinks she'll never be able to return to it, her feelings for Gwen says different. Desire or Duty? Gwen or Morgause? Can she choose without losing someone she loves? M/G, A/M  
**   
**Chapter Summary: Arthur's coronation proceeds and many things start to change between Morgana and Gwen at the true intention of Morgause.  
**   
**Genre: Angst/Romance**

What a strange feeling.

That is the only way Morgana can describe it without feeling rather silly (sillier than she is feeling right now, in fact).

An unpleasant one as well; the sort of feeling that makes your stomach twist and clench angrily in a fit of wild rage that Morgana cannot describe by just words and the different expressions on her face - not when she is looking at the bed across from her in such confusion mixed with something that she can only describe as bitterness.

When Gwen and Merlin had stumbled through last night with an exhausted-looking man hung over both of their arms, Morgana had immediately thought the absolute worst had happened.

Morgause had breached Camelot's gates, Morgause was attacking everything in sight, Morgause had been hunting for Gwen and instead came across this man that looked awfully like Sir -

She had cut herself off when the man's face had been revealed and instead of feeling shocked, Morgana felt like half of her wanted to tear out her own hair in furious temper whilst the other half sighed in complete relief.

Gwen was _safe_ and Morgause wasn't attacking Camelot - another reason to feel relief in these troubled times.

That relief quickly turned into irritation at the lack of attention she was receiving from both Gwen and Merlin as they attended to the muttering Lancelot; her irritation obviously showing on her face because whenever Gwen turned to look at her with a warm smile, it vanished almost instantly whenever their eyes met.

And they were still there as well! Both of them leaning over the fatigued knight who (by the looks of it anyway) was developing a rather severe fever that if wasn't treated quickly, then he would most likely die.

But still! Gaius was treating Lancelot as fast as he could so that meant that Gwen and Merlin had no reason to be there anymore (then again, Gwen was pretty much out of a job if Morgana thought about it) so why on earth were they crowding around Lancelot like little children waiting for their mother to get better with earnest eyes?

And then of course Arthur strolls in with an equally worried look on his face and that is all Morgana needs to turn onto her side to expose her scarred back to the rest of the group.

Half of her wanted to yell out to them all, to get their attention, to pull them away from Lancelot just to focus on her. For a moment. For a minute. That was all she wanted.

And all that she wanted was selfish.

Her back ached like someone had stampeded all over it, her head throbbed painfully with a headache that would no doubt not be leaving her anytime soon and her whole body shook with the shivers of the cold air that was wafting through the open windows.

Altogether, she wasn't having a great day right at the moment with nobody paying any attention to her or even caring if she was shivering like an idiotic child who was too foolish to ask for a blanket.

What a prat she must look to them all - that was if they were even looking at her - with her frozen, rigid body that longed for more blankets to cover her; for hands to pick up the scratchy, brown blanket that she had managed to kick off in the middle of the night in a hot sweat that just wouldn't leave her alone.

Morgana shivered again, arms wrapping around herself to try (in vain) to battle off the cold that is slowly -

And then a warm blanket is placed over her shoulders. A blanket that she had not expected ever to rest on her shoulders, actually has…

That old, scratchy, brown blanket that caused her to itch like crazy had been draped over her shoulders - hell she doesn't even FEEL the cold at ALL anymore.

The enchantress risked a glance over her shoulder to see dark, chocolate eyes staring back at her with unmatched warmth.

"Gwen?" Morgana muttered in a husky voice, willow orbs gleaming with sleep that seemed to bring water to her eyes.

"You looked cold." Gwen explained quickly, not allowing her eyes to fall on Morgana anymore than two seconds while her hands seemed to find themselves placed in her lap, folded together like a scolded maid.

'_Gwen…_' Morgana whispered her friend's name in her mind like she would do if she was praying, soft and gentle.

'_Oh sweet Guinevere, what are you doing to me?'_

Morgana flinched slightly at the thought that had spiralled through her mind quickly like an arrow; grateful that Gwen hadn't been looking at her and instead was content at staring off in a different direction.

"Thank you." Morgana finally spoke out with a low, hoarse voice - mostly because Gaius had forgotten to get her some water thanks to his attention being on the fallen knight, Lancelot.

Just as Gwen turned to let her eyes fall on her, Morgana let her own hues flicker over to a space where Gaius's books lay in stacks.

It was ridiculous really, but looking at Gwen straight in the eyes made Morgana want to collapse and beg for mercy.

That and looking at Gwen was just plain _dangerous_. So dangerous that it was unbelievable, so dangerous that Morgana felt her heart tighten angrily whenever Gwen's chocolate met her (Morgana's) willow in so many ways that just screamed dangerous.

"You're welcome." Gwen smiles at her, Morgana only catching this smile by turning her cheek a little to the side to capture Gwen's eyes for a moment before moving her gaze away again, uncomfortable at the way she was feeling. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine." Morgana answers quickly once again, eyelids slamming shut in embarrassment at how idiotic she sounded. "Sore, but fine. How is…" Morgana let her gaze settle on the man that was being wrapped in bandages with a morose fire in her eyes.

Gwen's smile loosened slightly and the hands in her lap tightened until Morgana saw red knuckles.

"He's…Recovering. That's all we know at the moment. He's got some interesting burns on his chest that Gaius is examining but he says he thinks it has something to do with sorcery." Gwen shrugged after that, her hands looking so sore by now that it made Morgana's own fists clench.

"Burns?" Morgana arched a questioning eyebrow at Gwen, her mind ticking over at what Gwen had just told her.

Could it be Morgause had sent her a warning? Or had Morgause been destining this warning for Camelot itself? If so, Morgana hadn't heard of this in Morgause's plans when she had stayed with Morgause.

"Is it…?" Gwen left her sentence to balance out, eyebrows furrowed together while her hands started to twitch and curl into each other in disquiet.

"I don't know. I don't think so." Morgana answered truthfully, shaking her head slightly to try and clear her thoughts. "She probably thinks I'm out hunting, that's my normal excuse."

"And what was your excuse to come and meet with me in the Forest of Nehrid?" Gwen whispered sullenly, the warmth that her eyes had held starting to sour and become dull.

Despite herself, Morgana looked down at her hands and blushed right the way down to her cleavage.

"I told her I was trying to find out my weakness and destroy it." Morgana murmured, refusing to look up into Gwen's eyes even when it started to become unbearable to not do so in the first place.

"And did you?" Gwen asked with such pure innocence that Morgana bit back a laugh that was working itself past her lips.

Instead she smirked bitterly, revealing pearly white teeth. "I'm not even sure if I want to destroy it…" Morgana chuckled under her breath at that, eyelids closing slowly.

"Morgause is your sister, surely she knows your weakness and would destroy it herself, yes?" Gwen guesses, her guessing making Morgana's heart yearn and for her skin to tremble in agony.

"She knows the consequences if she does…" Morgana smirked resentfully, eyes flashing in anger for a moment.

Fear made Gwen's eyes shine with tears. "Your own sister?"

"What I am. Where I am. Blood doesn't run thicker than water." Morgana spoke angrily, clenching the sheets that lay on top of her. "Duty. Duty is what comes first now."

Gwen laughed throatily, her flushing cheeks forcing her to look down to avoid Morgana's scorching gaze. "Duty? When did you start caring about such trivialities like duty?"

"Duty before desire. That is the code we live by." Morgana answered her in a monotone, the sound making Gwen flinch slightly at how different it was from Morgana's usual voice. "That is why we destroy our weaknesses. So we can become stronger."

Despite urging herself not to, Gwen gasped quickly and sharply; knocking the breath out of her body as she did so.

"That's…That's a terrible thing." Morgana heard Gwen whisper breathlessly, her willow eyes observing her old maidservant's shaking hands and watery eyes that held so much pain that Morgana could _feel_ it. "How can anyone live like that? How does…How does _she_ manage to live with herself?"

"It's our training Gwen." Morgana explained with a hostile growl, flexing her fingers slightly to get rid of the tension there and for the familiar warmth of magic to spread around her thin digits. "It's what makes our magic more powerful."

Complete puzzlement sketched itself on Gwen's features, making the maidservant jut out her lower lip to ponder silently.

Morgana herself was just about to answer Gwen's look with a subtle answer that wouldn't lead to Gwen cursing angrily at her when of course, Merlin (who had been eaves-dropping by the looks of it) sat down next to Gwen with a hand on her knee.

"It's only more powerful because it is incited in blood." Merlin spoke quietly, glancing over his shoulder at the still preoccupied Arthur to check that the Prince wasn't looking.

Morgana's cheeks burned with shame as Gwen's eyes widened to look at her, the chocolate orbs begging her to say something. To deny it, perhaps. But Morgana would not lie to Guinevere. Not anymore.

Almost as if Merlin had just realized what he had said, the warlock himself went red and turned his face away from the two women to give them some 'privacy'.

"Blood?" Gwen whispered, her words so soft that it made Morgana want to cry out in pain because of how much hidden anger was laced in those soft words.

Morgana sighed, guilt already chewing at the corners of her heart until she felt as if someone had punched her in the gut - mercilessly and with vicious fury.

"You use blood to become stronger?" Gwen whispered again, her anger becoming more and more noticeable by the second due to her tone and the clogging tension-filled air that made Morgana choke.

"Only once…" Morgana managed to breathe out with a sigh, fearfully looking up to gaze into Gwen's fiery, brown eyes that just couldn't look at her properly at the precise moment and instead were looking everywhere but in her general direction, filled with tears.

Morgana couldn't stand it. She reached out to grasp Gwen's hand in her own but instead was greeted with Gwen glaring at her heatedly and for her hand to snap itself away from her pale digits.

"Everything they said about you…" Gwen's face had turned cold and the sight made Morgana's heart tighten uncomfortably. "All those times we stuck up for you…And almost all of them were true."

It broke Morgana's heart to see Gwen's aghast face, sullen and totally disgusted in every shape and form along with the fact that the tears that she had tried to keep back was streaming down her reddened (embarrassed) cheeks.

"I tried to keep it off as long as I could Gwen." Morgana tried to explain, licking her lips to try and give them some more moisture. "For three years I kept Morgause's wishes at bay, only months ago did I have to give into her wishes. I didn't do so willingly."

"But you did it anyway." Gwen's voice had now changed in every way possible, her anger vanishing and instead being replaced with out of character bitter sarcasm; said sarcasm piercing Morgana's heart and head. "You did it anyway…

"I had no _choice_ _Guinevere_!" Morgana protested, her voice going up a whole octave in a way that made every gaze in the room turn on her. "Do you think I would have done such a thing if I had a _choice_?"

"There is ALWAYS a choice!" Gwen had to admit, she was being a little unfair on Morgana but there was always a choice when it came to someone's life; besides that, it was Morgana who had started yelling first so really, it was her right to yell right back at her. "You just chose to use the easy option! You had to end someone's life to keep _her_ happy!"

"I was trying to protect Camelot as much as I was trying to protect you!" Morgana snapped back, her teeth bared in such an animalistic way that it unknowingly (to Morgana anyway seeming as she was far too lost in her anger to notice) made Gwen turn red at such a look. "I had to stay with Morgause out of duty, nothing more and nothing less!"

"Damn you Morgana!"

Confused at her old maidservants reaction, Morgana glanced up to see that instead of looking angry at her Gwen just looked plain upset with her watery eyes and clenched fists.

"Gwen…" Merlin whispered far too late, his eyes widening as he was knocked back by Gwen standing up and rushing out of the room with nothing but a choked growl.

Morgana watched her go, willow eyes softening tenderly while her heart started to grow cold around the edges; almost as if her heart was laughing icily at her in such amusement that she, Morgana had once more caused Gwen pain. Pain that she did not deserve.

Arthur (who by the looks of it had been eavesdropping through the whole conversation) glared at Morgana in such a way a brother would that made Morgana turn red in disgrace.

"Well done Morgana, always was the clever one." The King shook his head at her, nodded towards both Merlin and Gaius, then speeded off in the direction Gwen had rushed off to.

Morgana already knew what Merlin's expression would be, so, deciding that she didn't have to see it anymore than anyone else had to see her expression - quickly lay back down to face the windows where light shone through.

* * *

Gwen hadn't managed to get back to her house in time and that was why she suddenly found herself in a rather dirty storehouse with nobody there apart from herself and a hooded figure - who to Gwen's dismay, had a rather familiar figure of someone she knew.

"Ah my mistress's sweet little Guinevere." And of course, Gwen felt ice drop to her stomach when that hood was pulled back to reveal the blonde-haired angel known as Alice with her cerulean eyes and tanned-skin. "What a pleasure it is to see you once more."

Gwen's eyes darkened considerably, her face showing that at the moment she was not one to be messed with. "Get out of my way Alice or I call the guards to come and fetch you."

Alice laughed mockingly, placing a hand over her heart to show how much faith she had in what Gwen had actually said. "Oh my dear Guinevere, what have I done to upset you so? You have my mistress with you, do you not? Is that not a thing to rejoice?"

"I'm warning you Alice…" Gwen growled, feeling for something that she could use as a weapon in the darkness that had shrouded her eyesight to only see bright colours - that being Alice. "Get out of my way."

"Ah, ah, ah." Alice had suddenly rushed forward, pressing a hand against Gwen's chest in a way that clearly said that she would be going nowhere, not while her hand was there. "I come here to inform you of Morgause's movements."

"What do I care of Morgause? I only care if her plans have anything to do with Camelot and Morgana." Despite her argument with Morgana only moments ago, Gwen found it hard to stay angry at the enchantress - though she truly knew she should stay angry - whilst also finding it hard to keep her love for Morgana at bay.

"Ah, so you do not care for your own safety then?" Alice smirked cockily, brushing a strand of blonde away from her eyes.

"Morgause knows nothing of me, how am I in danger?" Gwen asked the bard, confusion making her hazel eyes start to glaze over.

"She worries that you will bring my sweet mistress down to her knees, but ah. It is far to late for that, am I right?" Alice said with a smug grin, the hang that had been on Gwen's chest reaching up to brush a stray lock away from the maidservant's face. "Morgause is far to late, isn't she?"

Alice's grin dropped down into a smirk and she clapped her hands together forcefully - succeeding in knocking Gwen back into reality.

"But yes! Morgause is pondering! Pondering where my dear mistress is gone!" Alice seemed to find that completely hilarious and started to chuckle; only remembering Gwen was here when the maidservant coughed irritably at her. "But what can I say my dear Guinevere? What can I say?"

Gwen, despite herself, snorted and crossed her arms across her chest. "You can say nothing about her being here in Camelot. I won't allow you from this room if you do so."

"Ah. I am not disloyal to my mistress!" Alice said with wide eyes; most likely offended that Gwen had thought her capable of betraying her own mistress. "I am merely thinking of a plan that will help my mistress get out of Morgause's clutches."

"You can do that without me." Gwen retorted, still trying to scan around the warehouse for the exit and sighing in defeat when she found none apart from the door Alice was blocking.

Fine. She'd just have to play dumb and hope Alice let her guard down. Then she could escape to her home to prepare for the night preparations of the coronation; Alice was just too distracting.

"Besides, you're clever enough to do that by yourself. You do not need me. Just let me pass Alice…" Gwen moved slightly to the right, watching intensively at Alice's blue eyes staring out at her.

"But my mistress has not told you everything and she never will until her lust is satisfied!" Alice's eyes gleamed mischievously at her, almost as if the short bard was enjoying keeping her here, alone. "I know my mistress well. _Too_ well maybe."

Gwen instinctively shut her eyes at Alice's smirk; trying hard not to imagine how Alice knew that Morgana would not talk until she was satisfied. Trying not to hard to imagine Alice's lithe little body pressing down hard into Morgana's, firm, strong chest, trying hard not to think about the fiery kisses that Alice must have given Morgana to make the enchantress talk.

No she didn't want to see that. She _didn't_.

"Oh do not look like that my sweet Guinevere!" Alice giggled childishly, moving away from the door to circle behind the maidservant with her fingers brushing over the revealed skin of Gwen's neck. "_I_ am not the one who touched _her_."

"Please." Gwen whispers softly (mostly to herself, because why must she hear this when it breaks her heart, bit by bit?) to the bard, moving away from the dainty fingers caressing her skin. "I do not wish to hear more."

"But you must otherwise you'll never know." Alice spoke quietly in her ear, however this time sounding more serious than she usually was whenever she talked to someone. "My mistress is too ashamed to tell what has happened to her. Too ashamed. So I must speak for her."

"I'm telling you Alice that I don't want to know who Morgana was touched by!" Gwen almost screams at the blonde bard, digits curled into fists and her teeth trapped her trembling lower lip.

"Morgause had visions. Visions of a baby being born from a womb she did not know of. Just a baby." Alice ignored Gwen's glare with a wave of her hand, fluttering around the maidservant with a now serious look on her face.

Alice knows Gwen isn't listening. She isn't listening properly. In fact. She's ignoring her.

"A baby born of magic. A baby that belonged to Arthur. Arthur's little son. Morgause had a vision of this baby being born."

And just as Gwen is starting to feel neutral about the whole subject, Alice turns and scowls. "No. You are right. This isn't my place to tell you. You must find out on your own."

Gwen shakes her head; her trembling fists now starting to make her arms shake as well. "What if I don't wish to know?"

Alice shrugged sluggishly. "Then your unwillingness not to know my mistress's pain will doom Camelot." The bard smiled after that, like she was telling an old joke that Gwen had never heard of.

"Not to know Morgana's pain? That is something I've been trying to embrace her with ever since she came back to Camelot!" Gwen feels her blood start to boil and all she can see is red. Frustration. "But she does not wish for me to be by her. She wishes nothing to do with me."

"Lies!" Alice singsongs in that annoying chirpy voice; giggling coquettishly to herself at Gwen's furious expression. "My mistress loves you. She is just far too stubborn to admit it. Which makes it even more fun to tease her about you!"

Gwen tells herself that the blush on her face is in anger and not embarrassment at how she feels like one of those maidens from the legends with her friends teasing her about the cold, handsome knight who she had immediately fallen in love with at first sight. "Alice, be serious for just a moment."

"Serious? Hm…For a moment yes. I shall be serious. Just for a moment however." Alice settles herself down on an empty crate; looking perfectly happy at the change of atmosphere. "My mistress requires your help. You have already broken one wall that held her back from you. Morgause."

Regardless of how much Gwen wanted to point out that Morgana was far from free of Morgause, she decided that it was best for her to remain silent.

"Leaving only one wall left." The blonde bard tilts her head at her, studying her with those cerulean orbs that held so much mischief it was unbelievable. "A rather massive wall to tell the truth. Very large."

Gwen was about to answer the bard, however silenced herself at Alice's finger pointing up in the air - signalling for the maidservant to remain silent.

"Pride. Tis what drives my mistress sometimes I think. Pride. Alas, it is sad that she loses much over her pride." Alice sighed dramatically, pouting out her lower lip as if she was traumatized over how stubborn her mistress was.

"Pride?" Gwen scoffed, unable to believe that she was having this sort of conversation with Alice, of all people. "You want me to break Morgana's pride? That's what makes Morgana who she is today."

"Ah! Yes! How could I forget? This makes my mistress vengeful, jealous, sinful, furious and whatever else she feels! Her pride is hardly dangerous to others around her?" Alice finished her sentence off with a sarcastic snip in Gwen's direction; not resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"It also means she won't admit anything to you about her feelings. And to help Camelot survive the war that is most likely to come - though I am guessing - then you'll need Morgana's help."

"What am I to do Alice? I cannot bring myself to destroy Morgana's pride." Gwen felt her patience slipping. She had so much to do today. So much and Alice was stopping her from performing her duties.

"I know, I know. You love my mistress too much to do that to her." Alice yawned; looking bored at the whole possibility of Gwen and Morgana loving each other. "But there is another way. I suppose. A more…Blunt way."

"Make it quick at least." Gwen said harshly, narrowing her eyes at the impish look being sent her way.

"I have no idea!" The bard jumped up onto her crate that she had been sitting on; twirling in a tight circle with high pitched laughter coming from her lips. "Tis not up to me to tell you which path you choose Guinevere! That is your own to decide!"

"You are completely insane." Gwen remarked dryly whilst shaking her head, moving away from the bard to make her way to the warehouse exit.

"Ah yes, so my mistress says. But my lovely Guinevere, you must prepare for the coronation! I hear it is going to be the largest people have ever witnessed in Camelot."

Gwen slammed the warehouse door shut and proceeded on her way home to change into something more suitable for a coronation.

* * *

"I did not expect to see you again milady Morgana."

The enchantress growled (more than angry that her sleep had been disturbed by the brainless fool across the room from her) and turned onto her side to face the wounded, exiled knight.

"I had hoped not to see you again if I'm perfectly honest." Morgana snapped back resentfully; eyes tracing the dark knight's handsome face with reserved fury that Morgana tried to wash away with thoughts of the things that made her happy. Still. Lancelot gazing at her with sympathy did nothing but make Morgana wish to reach out her hand and let the warmth of magic surge out from her fingertips to strike lightning at the dark-haired man who longed for Gwen's heart.

"I thought the rumours of you being a witch were just as they sounded. Rumours." Lancelot looked intently at her for a moment, studying the invisible scars that were shaped around Morgana's face, then proceeded to try and sit up from his lying-down position. "But obviously by the scars on your back and whispers of your treachery, the rumours were in fact, truth."

Morgana scowled at the knight. "Your grasp of the obvious truly is intriguing Lancelot. How you managed to make Gwen look twice at you is beyond my imagination." The enchantress felt herself chuckle cynically at the look of displeasure that had patched itself onto the dark knight's face. "Hm, maybe she can only see those dark eyes? Enrapturing, even I have to admit."

Lancelot remained silent so Morgana took it as her chance to continue with her rant; the dark chuckling quickly transforming into something that resembled a smirk. "Behind that? You're a worthless, exiled knight. Someone who wishes for honour but does not try and grasp it by himself. Dependent on others." Willow eyes gleamed happily. Happy to let Lancelot know how much she disliked him for what he had done to Gwen.

She could accept the fact that Lancelot had been exiled because he wasn't of noble heritage. Morgana did accept that. But what she didn't accept was that (and this was what Arthur had told her) Lancelot had still been offered to become a knight, Arthur had talked Uther around, yet the knight had not listened and instead had chosen to ride away from Camelot to start his own adventures.

"You left Gwen when you knew she cared deeply about you." Morgana added the last quip with a dark grimace; anger clouding her mind so much that she did not see Lancelot's look of rage form into something that could only be described as tranquillity.

The knight raised a hand to silence the enchantress from continuing with her speech and took a drink from his goblet of water.

Once he had his fill, Lancelot let the goblet drop to the floor with a loud _thud_; said sound and cause making the enchantress stare him down like she would easily put a sword through him if ever the opportunity came.

For that reason. Lancelot really hoped it didn't come. At the moment, he really liked living.

Morgana watched as the knight tapped his fingers against his thigh; soulless eyes never leaving her willow hues.

"You and I are more alike than I first thought, then." Lancelot purred with a tiny, heartless smile that both confused and irritated Morgana to no end.

"Alike?" Morgana felt laughter wrack her sore body; the pain that was still there causing her to almost shudder at how it seemed to effect her laughing ability. By the gods, she couldn't even laugh as loud as she used to because of what Tristan had done to her. "We are nothing alike."

"Tell me then milady Morgana." What also exasperated the enchantress was the fact that despite her not being anywhere nobility anymore, Lancelot still found it eloquent to name her as such. Maybe he was being polite or maybe (just maybe) that Lancelot was doing this to rub salt in her wounds. Morgana was not sure. "When you left Camelot to do whatever witches do, did you not know that Gwen also cared deeply about you?"

Morgana felt her heart break (bit-by-bit) at the knight's stinging words that had pierced her right through her soul. Mostly because they were true in what they said, mostly because he had used her words against herself, but truly because Morgana knew what Lancelot was calling her.

Hypocrite. Liar. Destroyer. Everything Morgana had called Lancelot whenever Gwen mentioned him with those forlorn eyes that held hollowness at the mere conversation of the dark knight lying across the room from her.

"Leave me be, you foolish knight." And just to make sure that it would also remind Lancelot to let sleeping dogs lie, she added. "Or my wrist will accidentally slip. If you catch my meaning."

"Perfectly, though there is no need for such aggressiveness." Lancelot answered with a genuine smile; the coal eyes that Morgana hated smoothing over her appearance with an animalistic, soulless look.

"Isn't there? I find that hard to believe. You are obviously a threat." The enchantress coiled her body around her blanket; searching for the warmth that would caress her heart back into its full glory.

"To whom? You or Camelot?"

"Why must you pester me so? Are you not well enough to go to the coronation?" Morgana let her eyes drop to stare at the scorch marks that had darkened his chest and shoulders. Yes. Definitely sorcery had did that to him. But why? Morgana hadn't heard of any other sorcerers or sorceresses while she was away.

"I will be joining to watch shortly but Gwen has agreed to come help me dress in some noble clothing before she leaves herself." Lancelot tugged away his blankets (revealing red, velvet chaps that clung to his muscular legs) and stood up; holding tightly onto the bandage that was wrapped around his shoulders and chest. "She should be here soon."

Morgana sneered at the knight, wrapping a dark coil of thick, raven-coloured hair around her index finger which she twirled with amorous affection. "You were right Lancelot. You and me are alike. More so than I realized."

He nodded towards her, agreeing and accepting her words with little hesitation, though he had no reason not to. They were his words in the first place.

Morgana settled back down onto her makeshift bed with an uneasy grimace sketched onto her features. Alice had been gone a long time since this morning when the bard had crept in silently (silently being that that the bard had knocked over a few pots and pans however that didn't matter when it came to magic; Morgana found out quite early in her life with Morgause that she could just muffle the noise) into Gaius's quarters.

The blonde bard had promised that Morgause would know nothing of her arrival in Camelot, the bard had promised that she would silence the rumours by using force if necessary if she had to, Alice promised she wouldn't let her mistress go back to Morgause. Not now. Not ever.

'_Atonement my mistress, is what you're here for. Am I right? Or are you searching for something sweeter?'_

Morgana had bit down hard on her lip to resist the urge to put a silencing enchantment on her friend. Alice just loved to work herself under her skin and when she did manage; she revelled in it.

'_Alice, do your mistress another favour. Go find yourself someone to love and stop pestering me.'_

It had been a rather horrific comeback, but that was all Morgana had thought of when Alice's teasing reached her ears.

'_Mistress I have already told you! I would fight you to the death for Guinevere! So sweet and innocent. Like a virgin, no?'_

Yes, she had to agree. Sweet and innocent was what described Gwen the most if she had to pick two words to describe her old maidservant and loyal friend - though _lovely_ also sprang to mind.

'_Keep your tongue to yourself when talking about Gwen in my presence. I will not have you talk about her like a toy.'_

Alice had just quirked a knowing brow at her; the image of it making Morgana wish the ground would just swallow her up. This was too embarrassing even for her.

The blonde bard had then skittered away with a little tiny laugh; the sound enough to make Morgana wish she had long arms to grasp at the bard's tunic before strangling her to death.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Gaius (whistling a strange, happy tune that Morgana would have thought to be none-existent at this time; what with the whole depression that she had cast upon Camelot by merely existing) and the light chatter of Gwen - both of them appearing right in front of Morgana and startling her.

The physician pressed a hand against her forehead again, pushing her back to rest against her pillows whilst checking her temperature; his face pulled together hard at the feel of her skin against his frail hand.

Morgana bit her lip, avoided Gaius's piercing eyes and instead looked over his shoulder to stare at her old maidservant; immediately feeling cold and disquiet when she noticed the clothing that Gwen was wearing.

"You are attending the coronation?" Morgana whispered, slightly surprised at how hoarse her voice was. She risked a glance at Gaius who didn't seem to be moving to get her any water before turning back to Gwen.

"Only for a while." Gwen gave her a strained smile before looking over her shoulder. "Just until I'm sure Lancelot is okay with Merlin and then I'll come back to stay with you for the rest of the night."

"You don't have to do that." Morgana was quick to reassure her friend, slightly surprised that Gwen would want to stay with her after everything that had happened between them this morning. She just hoped that the surprise wasn't clear on her expression.

"She's right. Who's going to help me limp back?" Gwen had turned around fully now to address Lancelot (who by the looks of it, was struggling pulling his finicky, fancy tunic over his head) with a quirk of her lips.

"Merlin I expect." Morgana suppressed a sigh and a snort when Gwen walked over to help the dark knight; grabbing the knight's tunic and helping him pull it over his head. "Besides. It'll give you two time to catch up."

"True. Thank you Gwen for your assistance." Lancelot smiled and bowed his head; like Gwen was the knight and he a lowly servant. "Now may we proceed to the coronation?"

Morgana let her gaze break away from the scene behind Gaius's shoulder when Gwen turned to look at her over her shoulder, almost like her old maidservant was waiting for her approval.

The clicking of Gaius's tongue also brought her away from Gwen's tempting aura, the sound making her narrow her eyes at the odd noise that got louder when Gaius moved to place two fingers just under her chin to stare conscientiously at her face.

A frown appeared on the physician's face. Another click of his tongue. "It seems you have a fever Morgana."

"A fever?" Morgana blinked and Gwen was at Gaius's side (with a concerned looking Lancelot behind her in noble attire) with her mouth agape, resembling a fish out of water. "H-how? I was sure to get her warm this morning."

Funny. She didn't feel like she had a fever. Sure, she had felt hot when she was practically yelling at Lancelot with so much spite that she had felt her head throb but she hadn't felt anything unusual…

"It's alright Gwen, nothing you could have seen." Gaius assured the maidservant with a smile. "You head to the coronation and when you come back you'll be able to help me with Morgana."

"Gaius, why don't you take Lancelot up to the coronation? I'd prefer to stay here so I can see how she's doing." Gwen had already ripped some thread off a spare cloth and had dipped it into the bowl of water that was resting near the end of Morgana's bed.

"My dear." Gaius laughed freely, his laughter causing both Morgana and Gwen to scowl irately at him. The physician slowly removed the soaking cloth from his friend's hand and chucked it back into the bowl. "Morgana will be perfectly fine with me. Take Lancelot up to the coronation and remember Gwen…" He tapped her on the nose. "Have fun."

Morgana grinned at Gwen's shocked look that had crossed her face at Gaius's laughter; Morgana was sure that if she had the chance to, she would tease Gwen mercilessly about how seamless she looked whatever expression that was on her face.

Though saying that, wouldn't that make it easy for Gwen to tease her back? Yes. It most certainly would.

Gwen's look of shock had disappeared from her face and was instead replaced with a full blown smile that let memories seep through the enchantress's mind. The easier memories. The happier ones.

"Yes, yes…I will." Gwen's face went serious again. "But I'll be back to see if she's okay."

"Of course my dear," Gaius glanced at the fool of a knight (to Morgana's standards anyway) Lancelot. "Be sure to keep a clear head. No drinking or doing anything out of your boundaries. Just stay with Merlin and you'll be fine."

"Ah my friend, take the fun out of my night why don't you?" Lancelot laughed dryly at the same time as extending an arm out for Gwen to take.

Hesitation clearly crossed Gwen's mind at how her eyes seemed to shoot towards the enchantress's for half a second until Morgana looked up to stare at the ceiling, intentionally ignoring her.

It hurt to see Morgana doing something so childish, something so impossible that it was irritating so Gwen latched an arm through Lancelot's; looking up at the dark knight with a small smile. "Doctor's orders. I'll be asking Merlin if you do anything I don't like the sound of."

"I wouldn't do anything you said was wrong, my dear lady," Lancelot laughed fondly at Gwen's amused smirk. "Be sure of it."

Both of them turned to leave and when they eventually did, Morgana felt cold and warm at the same time. The coldness was bitterness. The warmth was this confusing emotion that seemed to whirl and whirl her around like a father does to his child when they play.

Gaius perched himself at the bottom of her bed, damp cloth in hand while the green salve Morgana had seen countless of times today, was in the other.

Despite her hopeless situation, Morgana smirked. "Ah, another trip to the land of green. I always love these moments Gaius."

Gaius simply shook his head at her. "You are sometimes very trying Morgana, more so when you look like you're absolutely furious about something."

"Oh? I did not realize," Morgana laughed bitterly to herself; eyebrows rising to form into two arches and her lips raised into a seductive smirk. "You look through me like glass Gaius. Am I truly that easy to read?"

Gaius lifted his own eyebrows, leaning forward to press the damp cloth against her forehead (the cloth so cold that it made Morgana hiss at how sharp it was against her skin) with added force. More so than necessary.

"Morgana, you must know that once you heal you'll most likely be back in that dungeon. Letting yourself get cold isn't going to help you stay here." Gaius explained to the enchantress along with _trying_ not to touch anything with green salve on his hand. "Fevers are dangerous in your condition. Morgana, you could die."

The enchantress merely let her eyes waver towards the bed that Lancelot had been lying in, willow hues soft. "I have taken that into consideration. And maybe, maybe it would best to sacrifice myself. For Albion's sake."

Gaius didn't protest to anything she said, in fact he seemed to be agreeing on what she was saying; his sharp eyes studying her every movement even when he was placing his hands into the water bowl next to him.

"For Camelot's sake even. I cause too much complications. Morgause will sooner or later come to Camelot in search of me. However, she'll come anyways. The future demands that she comes." Morgana knew she was speaking but what she was speaking, she had no idea what was springing out of her mouth. "She comes for power and she'll get it eventually. But with me dead? She knows she won't stand a chance against Camelot."

"Yes, that would work very well but I doubt it'll be as easy as, you died, Morgause realizes her plan cannot work without you in the equation so she leaves. No. Your sister is more cunning than that." Gaius argued with a grimace, wiping his wet hands on his robes. "You think much of yourself Morgana which is enough to make anyone just a little bit frustrated with you."

The willow-eyed enchantress chewed gently on her lower lip; stunned by Gaius's uncharacteristic need to put her in her place.

"I remember the child who used to come to my home before dawn and cry when Uther didn't help a village. The child who used to break out in tears when her young maidservant Guinevere was going through a tough stage in her life," Although Gaius could clearly see the resentment (mortification as well) that was spreading over Morgana's face, he did not stop. "You cursed the fact that you lived in a life so noble and care-free and that Gwen did not. I even remember you telling me if it was possible, you would have swapped roles just to help her live a life without any pain."

"_Enough!_" Morgana snarled, reaching forward to grasp tightly at Gaius's old, frail wrist. "I don't want to hear this! I was a foolish, young girl back then. I have changed into something more. This is what makes me strong. Not your thoughtless retellings of memories that are nothing but drivel!"

Gaius didn't even flinch at the fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist. "You are envious of your own memories Morgana because they may have not been the times when you were most happy but I'm sure you were a lot happier then than you are now."

Morgana growled, turning her face away from her old friend. "I told you that was enough. Do not continue."

"All I wish to say is that you must not throw your life away when it will get better. You have Gwen back now, along with Arthur and Merlin. It may not always be easy but this is where you hit the crossroads my dear," Gaius felt something hot wash over his skin when he paused and quickly guessed that it was Morgana's temper getting the better of her.

"Oh? Do I truly have her now Gaius?" To Gaius's annoyance, Morgana was once more laughing resentfully at him. Or herself. He wasn't that sure to be honest. "Do you not see the way she looks at me? And then the way she looks at the fool Sir Leon and the exiled knight Lancelot?"

"Yes I do see the way she looks at you Morgana," Gaius moved his wrist away from the enchantress with a forceful tug of his arm. "And yes, I have also seen the way she looks at those men that you mentioned. I have seen both. And I know that both of them compared to you, are merely friends."

"No. You are wrong Gaius," the physician watched Morgana carefully lie back down against her make-shift bed. "You did not see the look in her eyes when she found out what I'd done…The fire. She hated me. Just for a moment. A fraction of a second. But she _hated_ me."

"I don't believe that for a moment Morgana," Gaius said honestly; shaking his head at the enchantress - she was mostly saying these words because she was tired - who in turn just stared up at him, curious. "Gwen can hardly breathe without you by her side. Why else would she wish to rush from such an important event like Arthur's coronation?"

"She wanted to check on me. Most likely to make sure I hadn't hurt you and had run back to Morgause." Morgana answered stiffly, turning on her side away from her old friend.

"I was here the three years of your absence Morgana," Gaius's hand rested on her shoulder, squeezing it softly. "Gwen loves you."

Morgana shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "No. I don't want to hear _this_!"

Morgana let herself curl up into a ball, pushing herself further down her bed until she was sure she was as far away from Gaius as possible.

No more. She wanted to hear this no more.

* * *

"Did you not wish to accompany me?" Lancelot asked casually, glancing over to see that Guinevere was once again deep in thought; and had only broken from it to answer him.

"No, no I did want to accompany you." Gwen answered with a bright smile which almost made the dark knight satisfied that Gwen was just thoughtful this cool night, however that thought went out the window once he saw that the maidservant had gone back to staring out into the night.

"Then what troubles you so much?" Lancelot guided the maidservant through the castle's long corridors, dropping his arm away from Gwen's when they were in eyesight of the adviser's chambers. Even if Arthur was King, it didn't necessarily mean that he could flaunt his friendship with Gwen out in the open. He was a knight after all and she a mere servant. To be seen like this with Gwen could cause uproar.

"I'm just…" Gwen sighed deeply and the knight watched her bite her lip apprehensively. "Worried. About Morgana."

"The enchantress?" Lancelot actually wasn't surprised but Arthur was going to become king of Camelot and change the way Albion was forever so for Gwen to worry about Morgana almost made him laugh. "Oh…"

"Yes, I know I shouldn't but I am." Both of them turned a corner to come face-to-face with two guards that merely glanced at them before pushing open the wooden doors to the coronation.

The halls were lit with candles and sashes of blue and yellow were hung from the crevices of the corner of the ceiling, silvery imprints were pressed across the walls of the room and Gwen could hear laughter everywhere.

They had missed the coronation but not the feast that would be going on until the very early hours of the morn, which all in all, was very good because Gwen didn't want to be here for a moment longer.

"Merlin!" Lancelot called from where he was to the tall, skinny man that was serving drinks to every noble he could see and spluttering helplessly whenever he did manage to drop a drink or so on the floor. Not many of the nobles noticed. They were far too busy gawping at the King that now sat on the throne.

The dark haired servant rushed over to both of them, shoving his tray into another servant's hand to shortly join them in their small corner of the hall.

"Hey Gwen!" Gwen felt a smile tug at her lips when the young warlock hugged her tight in a way that clearly told her that Merlin had been terrified of not seeing her again after what had happened this morning.

"Merlin…How did the coronation go? How many things is Arthur changing?" Gwen asked her best friend, ignoring the obvious fact that Merlin had completely ignored his presence.

"He's announcing those things tomorrow night. For now everybody's just celebrating Arthur being king. Including me! But y'know…Afterwards…" Merlin smiled sheepishly when Gwen nudged him with her elbow.

"Well, that's good but before you do that. I need you to look after _this _one here." Gwen gestured to the fidgeting Lancelot, the noble clothes obviously disagreeing with his muscular shape.

Merlin's smile (if possible) got bigger and he clapped a hand on the knight's shoulder. "Lancelot! I'm sorry! I didn't know you were even there! I didn't even know you was up to walking around just yet!"

"What?" Gwen crossed her arms across her chest, rolling her eyes teasingly at the warlock. "Did you think I was walking around with Morgana in disguise?"

Merlin grinned down at her. "Maybe."

"I'm sure Morgana would pretty much love to hear you say that directly to her face, Merlin," Gwen chucked gleefully - laughing even more when Merlin's face dropped into one of horror.

Lancelot smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Still clueless as ever I see Merlin when it comes to the women."

If Gwen had been alone with Merlin in a private room, far, far away from where the feast was happening then she would have laughed herself silly at Lancelot's unknowingly funny comment.

"Uh…Well I _am_ trying…" Merlin mumbled agitatedly, looking down and messing with his navy-coloured tunic.

Gwen placed an arm on the manservant's tanned, servant jacket. "Don't worry Merlin, I'm sure the right one will come around soon enough. Maybe they're already here?" Then because she was feeling very happy and mischievous all of a sudden. "Maybe in this _very_ room."

"Aha! Merlin is in love?" Lancelot grasped the manservant by his collar and tossed him around to face the large crowd of nobles and servants alike. "Which one? I'll introduce you!"

"I-I…" The warlock murmured quietly, glancing at Gwen to glare at his friend. '_Look what you got me into now!' _He mouthed to the amused maidservant, wishing desperately that Gwen hadn't made it so obvious.

'_Relax…'_ Gwen mouthed back, moving forward to overtake Lancelot's vision of the crowds with herself.

"Lancelot, only I know about who Merlin loves and I'm _sure_ he wants to keep that between us." She looked at the blushing manservant. "You don't have to tell him if you don't want to Merlin. Lancelot's just being _nosy_."

"R-right." Merlin nodded enthusiastically, shrugging his shoulders at Lancelot's laughing. "Sorry Lancelot. Gwen's orders."

"Can never be denied." Lancelot turned to her and before Gwen could stop him, pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Give Morgana my love. Though I doubt she wants it."

Gwen bit the inside of her cheek, fighting back the response of _'I'm not sure if I want it either when I feel for another,' _but restrained herself. It was not the time to tell Lancelot what she felt for Morgana, not now and hopefully not ever.

"Uhm." Gwen broke out into an edgy smile, still feeling like a complete fool at Lancelot's obvious affection towards her. "Of course. Enjoy the coronation and say hello to Arthur for me if you have the chance."

She turned quickly on her heel to half sprint out of the hall, shocking the guards by her abrupt escape away from the celebrations.

"You alright Gwen?" One called after her, obviously a friend of her father by the locket that was around his neck when she looked back at him.

Her father's symbol was a red little cross that he had engraved for all his friends and for her when he had been younger and she just a babe, it had meant something to him to know that all his family and friends possessed one.

No she wasn't fine. Her head was spinning and Morgana, Lancelot and Leon was rushing and rushing through her skull. How much she loved all three of them. But differently. Somehow. It was all so confusing. How could this happen? Why did Lancelot have to turn up all of a sudden? As if the equation of her problem wasn't hard enough?

Gwen could hardly remember where she was going, where she was supposed to be going or what she was supposed to be doing, because all she could damn well hear was her mind playing tricks on her; causing her to feel so very mixed up in her emotions.

It was like one of those awful fairy tales when the princess hit's a crossroad and she has two options.

Be with Lancelot (marry him even), bear his children and maybe become a sensible noble woman to whom the court would respect.

Be with Leon, let him cherish her and teach her the ways of the sword without worrying that he would hurt her because he had trained her to become stronger. He was such a king, gentle man.

Or, be with Morgana? What sort of option was that? It didn't even make sense but Gwen longed to choose it. To be able to touch Morgana emotionally and intimately, to love her freely with no fear of being struck down just for feeling something so strong for a woman who had supposedly destroyed lives.

Was she cruel or compassionate for loving Morgana? Was she kind or evil? The right options were so obviously clear yet Gwen wanted nothing but to crush them in the palms of her hands.

No. Morgana held something within her that Gwen understood and cared about. Maybe she had been wrong before, about how only the old Morgana could work things out between them peacefully.

The old Morgana wasn't dead, she was still deep within the enchantress's soul, but Gwen understood now. She didn't care how Morgana came, if she was bruised, bloodied or looking ragged as ever, she didn't give a damn.

Alice was right. Crossroads are tricky and you only get one chance, but choosing the wrong one can also lead to the right, which is what Gwen was hoping for.

Of course that didn't mean she was just going to fling herself at the enchantress to see how much she did love Morgana, however instead she was just going to focus on her main task for tonight.

Helping Gaius with Morgana's fever was number 1 on Gwen's to-do list, so it didn't take her long to reach Gaius's home where she could hear angry cursing and snores reverberating off the walls of the physician's home.

Arching a curious eyebrow at the noise, Gwen ventured deep inside slowly so that it would muffle her steps to whoever was inside Gaius's home.

Peeking around the corner of the door (which was wide open strangely enough) Gwen saw two amusing things.

Gaius was sleeping on another bed by the fire with a piece of paper balancing on the tip of his nose; said paper flying upwards whenever the physician breathed through his nose or his mouth.

The other thing was that Morgana was trying to reach a clay goblet on the table next to her bed, cursing with heated words whenever her fingertips skimmed the smoothness of the clay but couldn't grasp onto it whenever she tried to lurch her hand forward even more.

"Damn it Gaius, _wake up_!" The enchantress growled under her breath, once more attempting at trying to get the goblet that held her attention.

Not being able to hold her laughter in any longer, Gwen laughed loudly (startling the enchantress into moving her arm away from the table and to look at her with wide eyes) and shook her head. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Gwen! I…" Morgana moved her eyes away from her again, but pointed at the goblet that had just gotten further down the table. "I was just getting myself a drink but I can't reach and Gaius just fell asleep when I was about to ask so I tried to reach it myself but-"

"Shh." The maidservant strode forward to silence her old mistress with a gentle brush of her fingers against the enchantress's shoulder; effectively shutting Morgana up with an audible 'pop' which was her mouth closing. "I'll get it for you."

Sitting down at the edge of Morgana's bed, Gwen reached over to grab the goblet that had almost tittered over the edge because of Morgana's clumsy attempts and gave it to the enchantress; watching her old mistress drink down the water greedily like it was the first time she had ever drank such a liquid before.

Glancing up, Morgana noticed Gwen's expression and sank back down into her bed with a small smile across her lips; putting the goblet down beside her. "I haven't drank anything today. Everyone was so busy with Lancelot that you must have forgotten," Morgana explained as an afterthought, wondering slightly if she should have used a better way to phrase herself.

"I'm sorry, I was just…Worried about him," Gwen quickly realized why she was here, so diverted her attention to looking for the bowl of water that she had seen before by Morgana's bed side. "And I'm sorry for what happened earlier today. I was out of order."

The maidservant scowled at the empty space where the water bowl used to be. How could a water bowl just move by itself when Gaius had been asleep for the whole time?

"It's fine…I just. I just had to do it. To protect you so that she wouldn't send me away to kill you." Morgana stated rather bluntly, so blunt in fact that Gwen looked up from her search of the water bowl. "I'm sorry if I failed you. I tried to keep it off. I really did try."

"Morgana…" Gwen sighed, cupping the side of Morgana's face gently (surprisingly without feeling like her whole body was on fire) to make the enchantress stare directly at her. "I believe you, please stop apologizing to me. I'm just glad to have you back with me."

Morgana smiled slightly, obviously taking what Gwen had said into some serious consideration.

"Oh! No, no…Not like t-that! I mean I'm not just glad your back with just _me_, I jut meant that-" Gwen cut herself off at the smirk that was spreading all over the enchantress's face.

"Hm. You're still the same as before Gwen." Removing Gwen's hand from her face, Morgana instead lifted hers up to trace every outline of her maidservant's face. "My stuttering Guinevere, always nervous around me even when I begged you not to be."

"I just didn't want you to be offended by what I said, that's all." Gwen tried to argue, though with Morgana's smirk not even faltering, she knew very well that she was failing tremendously.

Morgana's porcelain digits slowed across Gwen's face, stopping just below the corner of one of Gwen's, red, moist lips; - her stare making Gwen's stomach fill with butterflies at such a cold yet desirable look.

"If it is any comfort to what pain I caused you due to my absence…" Morgana's sudden change of subject made Gwen think twice of what she had been planning to say to the enchantress. Something along the lines of '_you're so beautiful_' making her look like the biggest idiot in the world at how silly that sounded coming from her lips.

The raven-haired beauty reached over a hand to wrap around the maidservant's wrist, her fingers grazing over the dark skin that (shockingly) was remaining still underneath her palms. Morgana had expected Gwen to tremble at such a familiar touch between lovers, but it seemed that Gwen didn't even care about such trivial things anyway.

"When I was away from Camelot, from _you_, well it felt…" Morgana gripped firmly onto Gwen's wrist, refusing to look at her maidservant's deep hazel eyes that seemed to suck her in whenever they did meet her willow hues. "It felt like I never truly left you. I know it sounds strange but-"

Morgana was continuing to talk with that deep, serious look that Gwen recognized on Arthur's face whenever she seemed to have a conversation with him, the only difference being that on Morgana's face it seemed so much more…Attractive.

Gwen had wanted to listen, she really had, but after Morgana's words she found herself hard of breathing, never mind hearing.

"There were these times that your voice made me hold back on doing things Morgause wanted whilst there was this other time-"

Gwen sighed inwardly, cursed herself to hell and back, then leant over Morgana's body to gently press her lips against dry, chapped ones that could only be because of the lack of water that the enchantress had today.

She was always known to follow her instincts, but lately Morgana had been completely ignoring those instincts whenever they told her to do something that included Gwen because they would most likely get her in trouble with several people for acting indecent.

Now was different however, now she wanted to ravage Gwen's lips and body until the maidservant _screamed_ in ecstasy; the lustful side of her becoming stronger whenever her eyes met Gwen's or when their skin brushed against each other and definitely now with her friend's lips crashing down against hers.

She surged forward (ignoring the startling amount of pain that jolted through her back) to cup the side of her maidservant's face; crushing her own lips harder against Gwen's in a wild frenzy to become closer.

The dark-haired beauty wasn't sure which one of them had groaned, but she felt the sound rumble against her swollen lips; the intoxicating reverberation that had come out of whoever's mouth making her feel dizzy.

Still this wasn't enough, she wasn't able to feel Gwen enough and on complete instinct, dug her free fingers into Gwen's noble clothing (too beautiful even for a maidservant) so she could easily drink more of Gwen's soft, subtle lips that she so desperately didn't want to lose the feel of.

Kissing Gwen so fervently, letting her carnal lust cloud her judgement was a sin to her duty as Morgause's sister, she should feel ashamed of her actions, but Morgana quickly found out that instead she felt excited and…Ecstatic. Gwen tasted so delightful, even more delightful than Morgana had hoped.

Why did she have to lose such a feeling? Why was that fair on her?

At her own thoughts, Morgana broke away from Gwen's grip on her, grabbing hold of her maidservant's hand and slamming it down so that Gwen couldn't try to comfort her or slap her if she was feeling paticularily angry (the enchantress couldn't tell, she was looking away from her maidservant with a furious look on her face).

"Morgana? I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to literally throw myself at you. I f-feel like such a fool and, by god what on earth am I doing? That was utterly ridiculous and inappropriate of me, I'm so sorry…" Gwen's hurt whimper made Morgana's hand holding Gwen's clench into a fist, nails scraping against the maidservant's skin harshly.

"Please, stop apologizing!" Morgana felt herself snapping under all the pressure of what her future held, and how much she hated it. "It isn't your fault. I, I didn't pull away at first. I even responded back. So the fault isn't yours. Let's just forget this happened. Please."

Instead of agreeing to the enchantress's suggestion (like Morgana had thought Gwen would have done, for arguments sake) Gwen instead grabbed her shoulder so that they were now face-to-face with each other; Gwen's hazel eyes ablaze with determination.

"No, because this isn't getting us anywhere Morgana. All we've been doing is fluttering around each other and I'm sick of it," Gwen moved herself forward slightly; so close that their noses were almost touching. "I want to know what you're thinking and feeling about everything. You don't need to guard your thoughts or feelings from anyone anymore, not now you're with me, Merlin and Arthur."

"What I'm thinking about _Guinevere_," Morgana hissed, snapping her head around to stare down at her old maidservant; the sudden fury that had been pumping through her blood (at herself) starting to explode. "Is how you think that it is fine to just follow what you think is right but when in truth it isn't. How you think that once you got me back it would be that simple. You're wrong. Morgause will get suspicious one day. And I'll have to make an excuse. An excuse that could cost Camelot and the whole of Albion!"

If Gwen hadn't been listening properly before (Morgana doubted that however) she was listening now, her eyes wide and questioning. "Effect Camelot? How?"

"Two options, both leading to the same thing," Morgana moved away her hand from on top of Gwen's to place her throbbing head into her palm, trying frantically to gather her thoughts correctly. "It all leads to the same thing, over and over again. I've heard one option through Morgause's visions and the other I've worked out by myself…So why do they lead to the same thing?"

"Morgana. I want answers, not _riddles_." Gwen sighed impatiently, trying hard not to sound irritated but what with all the secrets Morgana kept; she found it hard _not_ to be irritated with her.

"Sometimes you can find the answers in the riddles."

Gwen had to restrain herself from yelling a string of curse words at the enchantress when Morgana let a smirk accompany her answer.

She was playing around the questions that Gwen was shooting at her and Gwen didn't want to play this sort of game with Morgana of all people.

Gwen narrowed her eyes at the enchantress, put more emphasis on her frown and stuck her lower lip out. The perfect glare that she saved for Arthur and Merlin whenever they did something either very stupid, or very heartlessly - Merlin didn't count, because as far as Gwen knew, Merlin could never be heartless.

At Gwen's obvious scowl, Morgana's face drops from its smirk to a minor frown. "Ah, I suppose you wouldn't have found that funny."

"At this precise moment, I would find anything more funnier than your ridiculous remarks Morgana." Gwen squeezed down hard onto Morgana's shoulder, digging her nails deep. "You're hiding information from me, information that could have an effect on Camelot. So I beg you, tell me what is going on."

"Morgause. Morgause is plotting a war to destroy Camelot," Morgana smiled bitterly, twisting her head away to hide her expression. "I was to be part of the plot, a decoy if you wish."

"A decoy? So you both planned for you to come meet me in Nehrid? To lure me in trusting you? Was that it?" Gwen had moved away from Morgana's grip, hands wrung together hysterically. "You both planned it?"

"_No!_ Morgause had planned for me to take Alice's form to seduce Arthur! I didn't know when this was going to go underway but I'd _never _try and deceive you!" Morgana made another grab for Gwen's wrist, only managing to get the maidservant in her grip when she let the magic coursing through her blood to run through her fingers; pushing Gwen's wrist into her hand.

"You deceived me three years ago when you freed Alvarr from the dungeons! _You _deceived me when you left Camelot for Morgause! How dare you talk about such things and say you would NEVER harm or mislead me when you have done both of these things!" Gwen screamed (forgetting entirely that Gaius was asleep in the other room) loudly, eyes starting to brim with unshed tears that almost tore Morgana's heart apart. No. Not almost. It did.

Morgana bit her lip, clenching her eyes shut. "Gwen, _please_…I wasn't going to do it. I couldn't have."

"The sad thing is Morgana," Gwen whispered dryly, just managing to rip her wrist away from Morgana's firm grip. "Is that even when you tell me these things, the things that should make me _hate_ you. I just can't do that. I can't hate you."

Gwen turned to leave, her head throbbing and her hands were shaking like she had just emerged from freezing, cold water.

"Gwen! You haven't heard everything yet!" And still, Morgana found a way to make her stop. It antagonized her so, _so_ much…

"I don't want to _hear_ anymore!" Gwen growled, bringing her hands up to cup her face - hiding her expression.

"Then I'll make you listen!" Morgana snarled, gripping onto the edge of her makeshift to swing her legs over.

Smiling a bitter smile, Morgana flexed her fingers outwards towards the door; locking it to make _sure_ Gwen didn't escape from her.

"Have I got your attention now _Guinevere?_" Morgana laughed mockingly at Gwen's back, sneering irately when the maidservant turned around to face her. "Good. Now if you'll let me finish…"

Gwen nodded stiffly, her open hands closed into fists. "I already told you Morgana, I've heard _enough_."

"And I've told _you_, no you haven't!" Morgana clenched her hands into her dark curls, eyes shut tightly to block out the quiet noise of Gaius snoring. Even though it was such a noise that naturally, wouldn't have annoyed her at first; Morgana was slowly losing her grip of things. "Would you just listen to me? Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this? Do you have any idea how much danger I'm putting you in? No! Now be _quiet_!"

Gwen's mouth (which had been tightened firmly into a scowl) dropped open, not accustomed to having Morgana speak to her like that before. In fact, Gwen couldn't quite remember if Morgana had actually ever spoke to her like that before; she had always been so kind towards her.

Until Morgause.

"Morgause had a vision. A vision of the future to come," Morgana shook her head slightly and Gwen had the feeling that the enchantress was trying to keep herself steady. "It included Arthur being king and…" Another sigh. "And a child being born."

Gwen felt herself back against the door of Gaius's home, her hand grabbing at her throat like she had been choked.

"A…child?" Gwen finally managed to stutter out, already starting to lose the feeling in her legs at such news. A child of all things to come out of Arthur being king, a child that was somehow connected with Morgause…

"A child of _magic_. She believes that with Arthur's blood and a sorcerer's blood that the child will be _superior_," Morgana gestured towards her goblet of water, gesturing with her hands to make the water rise from the goblet. "And that's why her plan was to make me a decoy, to lure Arthur to Nehrid where she could…For lack of better words…" Morgana made her hand form into a fist, her usual sour smile on her face. "Take him."

"Why couldn't she just use you?" Gwen could hardly believe what was coming out of her own mouth, but it made sense in a way. Why risk luring Arthur to Nehrid when Morgana could take Arthur straight away?

Surely Morgause wouldn't need her blood to fit the equation. Any sorcerer's blood would count for this superior child, so why not use Morgana? The plan seemed fool-proof.

"Oh believe me, she was planning to use me. Me with child? That was all part of her plan, but in the end. She found out that she couldn't use me in the first place," Morgana moved her hand again, the water twirled around her fingertips with delicate grace - water skimming the skin in between her fingers. "I was too…Delicate. Too easy to break."

"You wanted to do it?" Gwen asked, exasperated at how her life seemed to crumble to pieces even when Morgana was by her side. She had wanted to do Morgause's dirty deeds? Had she?

"No, but that's hardly the point," Morgana spoke with animosity, her teeth bared angrily while the water she controlled started to spurt out of control. "Morgause had to test me first. To see if I actually could expect a child."

"What?" Gwen finally felt herself collapse into a heap of limbs, face heating up in anger, however this time, not at Morgana but at her witch of a sister, Morgause. "Please tell me you're lying." At the silence that followed, Gwen felt her heart break silently. "Who with?"

She wasn't furious because Morgana had sex with someone who wasn't her, she wasn't even furious that Morgana had hid this from her, but what Gwen was furious at was that Morgause had done this to see if Morgana could breed. Like a dog. It disgusted her to no end.

"Alvarr, believe it or not," The water that Morgana was commanding swept across the room to narrowly miss hitting Gwen; another sign that the enchantress was gradually losing her command of the element. "Morgause found him near Arroy, being chased by witch-hunters. She then led us to a quiet tavern. We stayed there for a whole month. Trying, and then trying again."

Morgana shook her head, finally letting the leftover droplets of water splash back down into her goblet. "It was no good. The problem was simple Gwen. It was either him or me who couldn't reproduce, so Morgause killed Alvarr - she told me he was a liability who couldn't be trusted - and took me to another inn far away from Arroy and there I slept with a man who's name I did not know."

"And?" Gwen choked out, afraid to know the rest of what had been happening in Morgana's life at the three years of absence.

"Ah Gwen, I couldn't lure Arthur to my bed because I am barren. Infertile." There. Morgana had said it. Gwen had heard it. And the maidservant wanted to scream heatedly at the witch Morgause, at the sardonic bastard Alvarr and even at _Alice_ for letting it happen.

"Morgause was…Understanding. She decided that I was instead to be the decoy in her plan and she would act upon it when Arthur was king," Morgana finished her tale with a small smile, bowing her head like a bard would at the end of a song. "And that is all."

"Unlock the door," Gwen whispered breathlessly and to Morgana, it looked like her old maidservant was trying to regain both breath and strength. "Please Morgana, unlock it."

The enchantress merely arched a brow and Gwen felt the latches of the door unlock in a heartbeat.

To her astonishment, Gwen remained rooted to the spot; hands locked against her knees.

"I had expected you to run Gwen," Morgana shrugged, her face void of emotion apart from the eyes. Gwen could always tell what the enchantress was feeling whenever she found herself staring into the willow for too long, becoming entranced in it and even understanding it somewhat. "Or at least, run to get the guard."

"Morgana, the one thing I feel at the moment is fear…It's pity and anger." Gwen murmured softly, pulling herself up to grab the raven-haired beauty by the shoulders; forcing herself to stare deep within the immersed willow. "Did _he_ hurt you? Did _she_ hurt you?"

Morgana laughed (another reason why Gwen had to remind herself that hitting Morgana wouldn't do her any good, despite what her head was telling her) teasingly, averting her eyes from Gwen's to stare down at her feet. "Oh Gwen, does it matter? These things will happen if I don't stop it. If I choose to stop it. Will I? Maybe. Probably."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me how much you wanted Morgause to do that to you. To breed you like a dog! Look me in the eyes and tell me how much you wanted it." Gwen commanded, pushing her forehead hard against Morgana's; feeling lighter than she has ever felt.

"Gwen, this is ridiculous."

"Tell me, damn _you_!" Gwen yelled, pushing herself harder against Morgana's forehead until the sob that she had been keeping inside for so long started to break through her lips. "You _owe_ me that much."

"_Fine!_" Morgana cursed heatedly, trying to keep her own tears back for both of their sakes. "I didn't want it Gwen! I didn't! I wanted to learn more! Not to be bred! Like an animal! Like a dog! I wanted to learn more!"

Gwen's hands slipped from Morgana's shoulders, instead latching onto the enchantress's elbows with a fierce grip; the sobs that had been only loosely breaking through starting to become more and more apparent.

"Is that okay for you Gwen? Do you feel better now? Knowing that all I suffered was for nothing because I was _barren!" _Morgana's hatred for weakness such as tears, burst through in a fiery wave as her sobs echoed Gwen's; hands shaking at how much her emotion had overwrought her.

It was rather ironic that both of them were weeping over the things that had happened in Morgana's past, the three years of absence, the three years of lowliness, the three years of hell; the list went on.

"I'm so sorry," Gwen spoke first in a shaking whisper, eyes wide open to try to once more lose herself in the captivating willow. "I'm sorry for not making Arthur look harder for you."

"Gwen, please…" Morgana moved her head away from Gwen's own to dig her forehead into the maidservant's shoulder. "You must understand Gwen, that, I love my sister despite her faults and the decision I have to make is a hard one."

"A hard one? After everything she did to you? You still choose to forgive her?" Gwen finds her own question silly but she can't help herself. Why is Morgana so pure when the rumours of sorcerer's brand them as tainted creatures? She doesn't believe that herself, but the rumours…Some of them were very convincing.

"Because she understood me when others didn't. I'm not sure what to do just yet," Morgana finally pulled herself away from her old friend, letting herself fall back down on her makeshift. "I just know that I'll do anything to protect you."

"And Arthur? Merlin?"

The enchantress nodded sombrely. "Yes, I owe them for what they gave back to me after all this time," to talk properly now started to hurt Morgana's lungs; making her cough despairingly into her open palms. "Freedom maybe, but, ugh. Damn it." She coughs again and this time, the enchantress feels her fever go to new heights when pain wracks her body.

Gwen rushes to her side again (it almost makes Morgana angry at how worthless she feels whenever Gwen comes to her at times when she is suffering, just like she deserved after everything she had allowed to happen) to place the wet cloth that had been lying in the bowl next to the makeshift onto her forehead.

"I know you'll…Make the right decision when the time comes," Gwen murmurs quietly, quietly enough that Morgana almost doesn't catch her speech but the forlorn look on Gwen's expression tells her much. "But you know, Arthur needs to be told of this."

"Arthur doesn't need to know anything about the future of what is to come," Morgana disagreed, shaking her head vigorously. "If you wish to tell someone, tell Merlin, not Arthur. He is King and at the moment, he is glad to be so. Telling him would only cause problems."

"But not telling him puts him in danger!" Gwen disagrees, showing her opinion by pressing hard onto the cloth - making Morgana wince.

"Exactly why you should tell Merlin and not Arthur. The buffoon thinks he'll be able to look after himself. Merlin is the person you should tell, not Arthur." Morgana argued back through clenched teeth, such a look enough to make Gwen laugh slightly under her breath.

"Fine, but don't think I'm happy with keeping it a secret from him. Because believe me, I'm not happy about it," Gwen let go of the cloth to pat the enchantress on her stomach; frowning when Morgana met her gaze with a look of uncharacteristic uneasiness. "I'm just…Worried about you."

"Why? Because I'm barren? Don't be," Morgana smiled warmly, however the cold look that accompanied her smile shook any warmth from it anyhow. "Maybe it was destiny. To stop Morgause from destroying Camelot. Huh."

Gwen doesn't repress a sigh this time, shaking her head. "As much as I missed you Morgana, I sure didn't miss you going off into dramatics."

To Gwen's utter amazement, Morgana laughs (a true laugh that makes Gwen's stomach flutter) with delight; hands curling around Gwen's hand that is resting on her stomach and bringing it up to her jaw, just below her lips.

"Stay with me tonight." It's rather hilarious how Gwen feels her whole body start to heat up in a matter of moments and all she can feel is how her body seems to thrive with want. It is also, rather embarrassing how much she likes it too.

"W-what?" Gwen laughs timidly, wishing she didn't sound like a love struck maiden in the legends Morgana and her father used to read to her when they were teaching her to read. "Spend the night with you? Morgana, you can't just ask me to do _that_. Y-you just sort of…"

"I said stay with me. Not spend," Morgana smiles wickedly at her, causing Gwen to feel like the most biggest idiot in the world. And it seems to be happening more often with Morgana around her. "I need somebody to share it with. So I beg of you, please stay?"

_Yes, of course. I love you and to be in your arms is one of the things I want most in this damned sinful world. I want to love you but I also want to be loved in return. Maybe I'm selfish, but all I can see when I open and close my eyes is you. _

Gwen shook her head, heart throbbing at the words she could never say. And would never say. "I can't Morgana. What if someone comes in looking for Gaius to find me with you? It's just too much of a risk."

"I'll wake you up early if you wish not to be caught. I'll even stay awake the whole night! Just…" Gwen curses when Morgana pecks her fingers gently, smiling softly at the maidservant's defeated look at such affection. "Please?"

Swearing under her breath, Gwen pressed a fist against her head. "I'm a fool." And then she pulled away the covers that hid Morgana from her; biting her lip at the images that flooded her mind whilst her eyes slammed shut.

"Morgana," Gwen growled lightly, trying to force the images out of her mind by using every single curse word she could think of to attempt to drive them out of her mind. "You're naked. Why in god's name are you naked?"

"I suddenly got rather hot. It's not unnatural for one to strip themselves bare in such times Gwen. Besides, I've got my dressing covering my breasts." Morgana shrugged her shoulders, glancing down at herself with mild interest. She truly didn't understand Gwen sometimes with the whole nervous act, it was rather clear that her maidservant appreciated her body; denying the fact was only going to make it worse for her.

'_Suddenly got hot? No kidding.'_

Gwen gulped (eyes still closed) and started to kneel down next to the enchantress when Morgana suddenly stopped her with a hand pushing her back.

"Aren't you going to undress?" Morgana asks her impishly, her other hand tracing Gwen's face delicately.

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Gwen fights fire with fire; forcing herself to open her eyes to gaze into the predatory willow that is making her feel naked anyhow. "But no. I will stay with you Morgana. Fully clothed."

"Alas, how sad." Morgana moves away to give Gwen room, swinging an arm across Gwen's waist when her maidservant settles down beside her.

Huffing at how ridiculous this situation was, Gwen threw the cover over both of them with a sigh. "The things I do for you."

"Mhm, undress yourself then." Morgana teases with a girlish giggle; the sound making Gwen shudder.

"No. Now am I going to sleep soundly or are you going to strip the clothes from my body while I sleep?"

Gwen bites back a groan when she feels Morgana's hand move to massage the skin underneath her tunic, caressing the skin with her sharp nails. No, she can't let Morgana do this to her. Because this isn't _love_, Morgana isn't doing this out of love. Not like Gwen wants her to.

"Sleep soundly," Morgana whispers again in Gwen's ear; letting her magic seep into her voice to lull Guinevere into a deep slumber. "And may you have no more nightmares, my sweet little Gwen."

The enchantress watches her old friend fall to sleep almost instantly and when she does, feels her heart break when Gwen clutches her tightly in her sleep.

It is a while before Morgana hears anything else apart from Gwen's even-breathing but when she does hear something, her hand is instantly out from around Gwen's waist to hover in the air; waiting patiently for the sound again.

"_Oh mistress…You are a fool. But what is even more sad? The greatest weakness of most mortals is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive. Alas my mistress. You are one of these mortals._"

Snarling, Morgana settles back down beside Gwen and ignores the whispers for the rest of the night. She has no time for such trivialities.


End file.
